Chapter 38
Nora
I look back to see Tatiana and Leo talking as they dance.
Leo has his hands placed appropriately, but even so I want to tear her away from him.
I nod and follow Nikolai, resolving that this situation is preferable to sitting for a second longer with my father, Dimitri, and my former best friend. The betrayal sticks in my throat.
Nikolai orders and hands me an ice-cold shot of vodka. I’m not one for hard spirits, but given the circumstances, I take it gratefully and down it in one.
Nikolai raises an eyebrow before ordering another. “In Russia, you sip it.”
“Yeah, well, we’re in America now, and I need it,” I reply before taking the second shot, wincing as the alcohol burns its way down my throat.
“Rough day?”
“You could say that again,” I reply, looking into Nikolai’s handsome yet concerned face. “Thank you, for rescuing us over there. I assume it was deliberate and not just good timing.”
Nikolai inclines his head. “I’d like to think I know Leonid well. I could tell things were getting tense and that he may have ended up doing something that impacts us all.”
“You don’t want to dance?” I ask, feeling as if I owe him that much despite the discomfort it would bring.
He chuckles and shakes his head. “I’d rather keep all of my limbs attached to my body, if it’s all the same to you.”
“But you don’t mind your wife dancing with Leo or…” I trail off, unsure of how to ask the question without being rude.
“Or taking lovers,” he finishes for me. “No. Tatiana and I enjoy each other’s company very much. It is a happy marriage, but a loveless one—a marriage of convenience—so we agreed to an arrangement that suited us both.”
I nod, trying to understand. “So Leo and Tatiana were lovers?”
“Yes. A long time ago, for a brief while. But even Tatiana could not snare his affections, and she sees him as somewhat of a challenge. Rarely, a man does not fall for her beauty and charm,” he says simply and proudly, without a trace of jealousy.
“I’ve never seen Leo so taken with a woman before. It is nice to see him finally in love.”
“It’s a marriage of convenience, like yours, one we were both forced into by our families. He doesn’t love me,” I respond with a shake of my head, though my mind goes back to what Leo told me earlier, how from the first moment he saw me he wanted me.
“Oh, but he does,” he insists. “And to think that a Quinn would be the one to win his heart. It’s truly remarkable.”
“What’s so remarkable about that? Rival families form alliances through marriages all the time.”
“Yes, Dimitri is practical enough to put the past behind him. But Leonid hates your family for what they did.”
“What did my father do?”
Nikolai looks surprised. “You don’t know? Your father killed Nikolai’s entire family. Nikolai was just a boy when he was forced to watch as they brutally murdered his mother, father, and sister.”
I gasp, my hand flying to my face in horror at the thought of what Leo witnessed.
“How does he not hate me? Why would he tolerate being near my father? Why would he have agreed to marry me?” I ask in shock.
“That, my dear, is exactly what I’m wondering.”
This whole time I’ve been worrying about how this arranged marriage affects me, hating Leo for lying to me, for his part in the wedding without ever bothering to ask him what his part in it even was. Nikolai might believe Leo loves me, but how can he possibly when I represent everything he hates?
Now that I’ve met Dimitri and seen he’s just as sadistic as my father, I can only assume that the decision for Leo to marry me was some sort of cruel punishment.
But that doesn’t explain the way he’s acted toward me, or why he pretended to be Max to get close to me, against his uncle’s orders.
He said he wanted me, but how could he, if my father slaughtered his family?
***
Leo’s attempts to talk to me on the ride home are met with monosyllabic replies, I’m so lost in my thoughts. Thankfully, he doesn’t push for more. Maybe Leo is lulling me into a false sense of security before he can get his vengeance.
At this point, all of the fight has left me. Why bother when my father is always one step ahead of me?
“Nora, please talk to me,” Leo pleads once we’re home and finally alone. “Tell me what you’re thinking. Is it about Nadya? Did Nikolai do something? Is it about Tatiana, because believe me, I have no interest in her whatsoever,” he insists, taking my hand in his, trying to get me to look at him.
I pull my hand away, I can’t keep a clear head with him touching me. I contemplate not talking, but the words somehow fall from me in a tumble.
“It’s everything, Leo. I have no idea what’s real and what’s a trick designed by my father to torment me.
I thought I’d escaped, but the whole time he knew where I was, and my best friend, my only friend, turned out to be his spy.
Then I think I’ve met a nice guy, and it turns out you’re part of the Belyh Bratva and were spying on me too.
Are you just another trick? Are you trying to make me trust you, fall for you, sleep with you, just so you can take that away from me too? ”
“No, no, Nora, never. You have to believe me,” he pleads.
He sounds so convincing, but I don’t know what to believe anymore.
“I know I pretended to be someone else, but it was only because I needed to get to know you. If I’d followed orders, I’d have stayed away and you’d be married to Dimitri now, but I couldn’t.
I fell in love with you,” he admits, baring his soul, but even this could be a trap.
“How can you possibly say that? How can you love me when you have spent your life hating my family? Why would you want to marry the daughter of the man who killed your family in front of you?” I ask, overwhelmed by my confused emotions.
“Ah, so Nikolai told you that. He shouldn’t have.”
“Yes, he should have. At least someone was finally being honest with me.”
Leo sighs. “I tried, Nora. You never want to talk. Today was the first day you said more than a few words to me, and I didn’t want to rush you.”
“Well, I’m ready to hear it now. What do you want from me?”
“Everything. I want you, Nora, mind, body, and soul, but not because I hate you. Don’t get me wrong, I did, before I ever met you.
But the moment I saw you, I became obsessed, infatuated.
I know now that you hate your father as much as I do, that you are innocent in his actions.
I tried to convince myself that I was watching you for the right reasons, just doing my job, but then I couldn’t stop thinking about you, wanting to know everything there was about what makes you tick, how to make you happy.
That night in the library, when you first spoke to me, I knew I was in love with you, that I wanted you.
You were so brave, so unafraid, you didn’t try to run or hide, you asked me what I wanted and told me to tell your father to fuck off.
You were incredible. I’ve loved you ever since. ”
Time stands still for a moment as his words sink in and the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle finally slot into place. The reason why Leo seems to know me so well, even better than Max. How his voice speaking Russian earlier sounded so familiar. How he feels so familiar.
Those blue eyes.
“It’s you. You’re my watcher,” I say, dumbfounded, amazed I didn’t see it sooner.
“Yes,” he admits.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I ask.
He looks down at his feet and then his eyes meet mine.
“I wanted to, especially seeing how hurt you were when you discovered I was Max. I don’t know…
I thought maybe if you could start to trust me, Leo, in the same way you trusted Max, then maybe I could tell you.
Though I realize now I should have just told you everything. ”
I should feel mad, betrayed by yet another secret, another invasion of my privacy and into my life.
But suddenly everything seems clear. Why I was falling for Max’s charm, but he wasn’t enough because of the desire I felt for my watcher, who made me confident and strong, who made me feel safe despite the danger.
Leo has been a confusing combination of both.
Because he is both—he’s my friend, my lover, my protector, my watcher. My everything.
For the first time ever, I don’t think, don’t doubt myself, I don’t question if he’s speaking the truth because I know he is.
It all makes sense.
It’s the only thing in the madness that is my life that makes any sense.
I rush to him, throw myself into his arms, and kiss him.
After a brief moment of surprise, he kisses me back.
He kisses me like a man lost in the desert, finally finding an oasis.
I return his passionate kiss, our tongues exploring as he holds me closer, our bodies pressed together. Not once do I shy away or recoil.
“Nora,” he murmurs in awe as he breaks away to trail kisses down my neck that send pulses of pleasure through me.
I tilt my head back, inviting more, a gasp escaping my lips.
He groans with desire, but I can feel him holding back.
He doesn’t want to spook me, to push me too far too soon.
His hands remain holding me in place but have not strayed, not crossed the boundaries so carefully laid long ago.
He moves toward the kitchen island, placing me down on it as we continue to kiss passionately.
I draw him closer, pulling his jacket off and unbuttoning his shirt, running my hands along the planes of his abs.
I reach down and feel the hardness of his cock straining against his pants.
My pussy twitches in response and I know my panties are already soaked.
“Are you sure?” he asks, pulling back.
I know that if I told him I needed to stop, he would, which only makes me want him more.
“Yes. I want you to touch me, please,” I beg, knowing this is what he once told me I’d have to do.