CHAPTER THREE ~ ABBY ~ SIXTEEN YEARS AGO #2
For some reason, I can’t bring myself to look at Graeme after he releases me. I take my time settling the strap of the camera back around my neck, then keep my gaze low, letting it sweep over the pumpkins surrounding us.
“Which Spice Girl are you?” he asks. At my confused look, he points to the T-shirt I’m wearing under my cardigan, which features a shot of the iconic girl group.
I twist my mouth to the side as I ponder his question. “Pumpkin Spice.”
Graeme laughs, all deep and throaty. God help me, he’s sexy. He reminds me so much of his brother, and yet where I felt a near-instant camaraderie with Brodie, there’s something far less innocent in the spark I feel with Graeme. I can hardly keep my eyes off him, and I want his hands on me again.
“I’ve always loved fall,” I blurt to fill the silence. “It’s my favourite time of year.”
“You should experience autumn in Scotland,” he says. “It’s a different kind of beauty. Everything is so lush and colourful here, while Edinburgh is all moody and Gothic, with its mist and fog. The way the leaves pop against the dark greys of the clouds and the buildings is something else.”
I stifle a sigh. It’s not enough that the man is gorgeous and sweet, but apparently, he’s a poet too.
“It sounds incredible,” I say. “Visiting Scotland is my dream.”
The familiar sound of Drew’s laugh draws my attention to where she’s loading Brodie’s arms with pumpkins of various shapes and sizes.
I can’t hear what Brodie is saying, but his expression is a mixture of indulgence and amusement.
I lift my camera once more and capture them laughing, followed by the moment when Drew plants a kiss on Brodie’s lips.
I turn back to Graeme, who’s watching me curiously, his head tilted to one side.
The ground suddenly feels soft and uneven beneath my feet.
I allow myself a moment to imagine what it would be like to act on the pull I feel toward him.
I can practically feel the weight of his hands on me again, and my lips tingle with a phantom kiss.
We could go on double dates with Drew and Brodie.
We could explore Kingston together and go further afield since he has a car. We could—
“Abby?”
The images scatter. I gather the remnants of them and tuck them away, something I’ve become an expert at over the years.
Acting on this pull toward Graeme would be a bad idea for so many reasons.
He may only be a few years older than us, but he seems so mature and worldly, which means he’s probably much more experienced than I am.
I’ve barely dated, and I’ve never been in a relationship.
I’ve told myself it’s because I’m focusing on school and enjoying my independence, but I’m also not ready to let someone get that close or give them the power to hurt me after all the hurt I’ve already experienced in my life.
Beyond that, Drew is the happiest I’ve ever seen her.
If Graeme and I got together and things didn’t work out, it would make things awkward for the group.
Their relationship is still new, but it’s clear they’re falling in love.
I’d never do anything to mess that up. It may be presumptuous to assume Graeme is even interested in me, but the soft, searching way he’s looking at me makes me think he is.
Which means it’s up to me to set a clear boundary, here and now.
“Graeme?”
“Yes, Pumpkin Spice?”
I swallow a groan. Why does he have to be so cute and funny? We’ve known each other for less than two hours, and he already has a nickname for me. This would be so much easier if he were hot and a jerk, which is the kind of guy I’ve attracted in the past.
“I think we should be friends,” I say firmly.
His eyebrows wing up. “Okay...”
“We’re likely going to be spending more time together because of Drew and Brodie, so we should be friends.
Like, really good friends. The best of friends, although don’t tell Drew I said that because she’s territorial about our best friend status.
This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but I’ve never had a guy friend before.
I’ve been friendly with guys, mostly classmates, but I’ve never considered any of them friends—someone I could talk to or count on or hang out with. ”
The words are spilling out of me, and my cheeks are growing hotter by the second. Graeme has his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, and he’s watching me with the same curious expression as before.
“And since we’ll be spending more time together, I think you’d be a good candidate for my first guy friend,” I continue. “What do you say?”
A slow smile spreads across his face. It tugs at something deep inside of me, but I push it down and lock it away with my thoughts from earlier.
I’ve experienced a lot of longing in my nineteen years on this earth: longing for home, for family, for companionship, for understanding, for things to be easy, for things to be different.
For love. I’ve become an expert at locking those feelings away.
“A good candidate for friendship,” Graeme says, his voice laced with humour. “Do I need to file a formal application? Campaign? Should I get buttons made with our names and a snappy slogan?”
Relief rushes through me. I have to admit some small, twisted part of me was testing him.
I think back to my conversation with Drew about wondering if Brodie will reveal a secret sinister side.
He and Graeme are so much alike, I’d wondered the same thing about him.
His response tells me everything I need to know, though.
It almost makes me want to break down and cry.
“As enticing as all of that sounds, if you want the position, it’s yours,” I tell him.
He comes closer and stops directly in front of me.
I have to tilt my head back to look at him, which makes me think of being kissed.
God, I wish I could kiss him. Just once.
Just to see what it’s like. Maybe he’s the world’s worst kisser—bad breath, too much tongue, an aggressive technique—and then I could put these fantasies to rest.
Graeme removes his hands from his pockets and offers one to me like he did when we first met. I slip mine into it, and he gives it a firm shake. He holds on for a few seconds before slowly loosening his grip.
“Friends, it is, Pumpkin Spice,” he says. “And the best of friends, as you said.”