Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
NOAH
It wasn’t that late when they made it back to Noah’s cabin, but darkness was already falling. Night came early in Northeastern PA around the winter solstice.
The afternoon had been amazing. For a few hours, the guilt and self-recrimination that weighed heavily on his shoulders had felt lighter, and it was because of Teagan.
She had a way of taking him out of his head and giving him the space to breathe.
To just be. No intrusive questions. No pitying looks. No judgment.
He hoped he’d had a similar effect on her.
They made quite the pair, each wrapped up in their own past. The difference was, he now knew a hell of a lot more about hers. Speaking of which, he needed to check in and see what, if anything, Alex had been able to find.
“I should head up to the house and see my parents,” he told Teagan as he built up the fire.
“Okay, give me a few minutes to freshen up, and I’ll be ready.”
He appreciated the offer, especially when she was so clearly hurting.
He hadn’t missed the way she limped back from the barn or the stiff set of her shoulders as she tried to limit her upper-body movements.
In retrospect, taking her out on the snowmobile hadn’t been the smartest move.
Didn’t mean he wouldn’t do the same thing in a heartbeat if it meant seeing her smile again.
“I’ve got a better idea,” he said. “Take some ibuprofen and rest. I’ll head up to the main house, put in an appearance, and grab us something to eat.”
She shook her head. “Seems like a small ask for letting me crash your holidays.”
“They’ll understand. They know you’re recovering.” When Teagan went still, he hastened to add, “Relax. I just told them you took a nasty fall at Hopewell, which is true. They won’t ask for details. They’re cool that way.”
They hadn’t even asked him for details when he decided not to return. They’d just given him space and let him know in a hundred different ways that they were there for him, no matter what.
Guilt settled over him as he pictured the banked worry in their eyes and the concern in their voices.
Seeing Teagan dealing with her issues, completely alone, made him realize how fortunate he was to have such a supportive, loving family.
His self-isolation and I’m an island bullshit couldn’t have been easy on them either.
“What about that heat you were worried about? Isn’t that why you wanted me to come with you?”
“Yes,” he said, though he was beginning to realize it was about more than that. “And you’ve helped more than you know,” he said with quiet honesty. “But I think it’s time I deal with it.”
She nodded and looked at her hands. “For what it’s worth, I think so too. They’re good people, and they love you.”
“That obvious, huh?”
She gave him a small, sad smile. “Yeah, it’s pretty obvious. Go. Mend fences, or bridges, or whatever the saying is. I’m going to get a hot shower and lie here, looking at the Christmas tree.”
“Okay. I won’t be long.” He grabbed his coat, then hesitated at the door. “Teagan?”
“Yes?”
“You’ll be here when I get back, right?”
Hurt flashed in her eyes. “Yes, I’ll be here.”
Noah glanced over his shoulder as he closed the door behind him. The mental snapshot was a nice one. Teagan was curled on his couch with a hand-crocheted afghan covering her legs, wearing the contented weariness of a woman who had enjoyed the day.
Leaving her alone in his cabin felt wrong, which only confirmed it was the right thing to do.
He was getting too used to having her around.
Liking her too much. Lines were beginning to blur.
At least for him. He had no idea what she was feeling.
She kept her emotions even more tightly locked up than Alex.
Noah made the short walk without conscious thought, his mind elsewhere. He was at their door, stepping into the foyer before he knew it.
Pausing, he took a moment to hang up his jacket and mentally prepare. Not because he worried so much about what they would say, but because he felt like he’d failed spectacularly.
The house was much quieter than it had been earlier. The kids had gone home with their parents, and his unmarried siblings were off doing whatever it was they did these days. That made this slightly easier, in any event.
His mom was sitting at the table with a cup of tea, the scents of baked ham and fixings permeating the space, conjuring memories of Christmases past.
“Hi, Mom.”
Her gaze lifted, and she gifted him with the kind of smile only a mother could give, filled with a depth of love he couldn’t fathom.
“Noah. I’m so glad you’re here.”
No scoldings. No recriminations. Just genuine happiness to see him.
A blade of guilt pierced his gut.
Her eyes flicked past him. “Is Teagan with you?”
“No. She’s resting in the cabin. She sends her apologies.”
“Poor thing. She’s had a rough time of it, hasn’t she? I’ll pack up something for you to take back.”
“Thanks, Mom. We’d appreciate that.”
She was giving him an out. Letting him know that she wasn’t going to press him for information. Which was probably why, as she rose and started to assemble another basket, Noah exhaled and sat down at the table.
“I’m sorry.”
His mother seemed surprised. “For what?”
“For staying away so long.”
“You had your reasons.”
His mind flashed back to the desert. Of looking down at the broken and bloodied bodies before him. Needless, preventable death. Blinking rapidly, he forced himself back to the present.
“No, I don’t know what they are, and that’s okay,” his mother said, shooting a glance over her shoulder. “You’ll tell me if and when you’re ready, and if not, that’s fine too. The important thing is, you’re here now.”
He blinked against the sudden moisture in his eyes and dropped his gaze to the table.
His mother finished preparations, then put a cup of steaming herbal tea in front of him and sat herself. “Your father said Teagan’s leaving tomorrow.”
His chest squeezed. “Yes.”
“Are you leaving too?”
“Actually,” he said, clearing his throat because it had become so thick, “I was thinking I might stick around for a little while, if that’s okay.”
“Of course that’s okay!” she said, her eyes wide. “You are always welcome here—you know that. Teagan is too.”
Noah shook his head, the urge to unburden his soul powerful. “It’s not like that.”
“Like what?”
“We’re not together.”
His mother made a humming sound and sipped her tea.
“What?”
“Nothing. It’s just … I’ve seen the way you look at her. And the way she looks at you.”
“How does she look at me?” he blurted out.
Her smile was knowing. “Like I looked at your father when I first met him.”
Noah allowed himself a moment to believe there could actually be something between them, then released it. He would do everything he could to help Teagan, but after that, he would let her go. “It’s complicated.”
“I’m sure it is,” she said softly, then wisely changed the subject. “How do you like working at Hopewell?”
“It’s great,” Noah said, glad he could be honest about that at least.
Mona was fantastic, and he liked working with the patients. Space to breathe, long-term rewards, seeing the joy when someone connected with an animal. It was a shame it was only a temporary gig until her regular doc returned.
She smiled. “Somehow, I knew you would. You always were drawn to animals, and hippotherapy is gaining momentum as treatment for autism, stroke, and spinal cord injuries.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Been researching hippotherapy, Mom?”
“There’s a place not far from here,” she said in explanation. “Happy Trails. They’ve been written up many times for their success. They’ve even partnered with Sanctuary. Apparently, it’s good for PTSD too.”
That, he could confirm.
“Anyway, if you’re going to stick around, you might want to check it out, see if there’s anything you can take back to Mona.”
“Maybe I will,” he said with a small smile. He’d need something to do after Teagan was gone. “Thanks, Mom.”