Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
TEAGAN
“You’re really going to make me do this,” Noah said quietly, watching her stuff her meager belongings into her backpack.
Her chest ached, the sense of dread weighing heavily on her shoulders. She didn’t want to leave. She felt safe here with him. But it was just a brief respite. A bit of calm before the storm. “You promised.”
“I know,” he agreed. “But what’s a few more days?”
Teagan carefully swung the pack over her good shoulder and gazed one last time at the Christmas tree, tucking away the image so she could bring it out when she needed something good.
“Last night, my mom told me about a hippotherapy ranch not too far from here. I was thinking I’d check it out. You could come with me.”
She allowed herself a moment to dream. Of releasing the past to start anew. To explore this burgeoning spark between them. Of finding a place in his life, here, with him.
Then she let it go. The past had a way of catching up. Eventually, someone would put the pieces together, and the ugly truth would come out. She had to stop running, to end the nightmare once and for all, before she could think about what came next.
She straightened her shoulders and summoned the courage to say the words she knew would sting. “Thanks, but no. I’m ready. Let’s go.”
Without waiting for an answer, she stepped outside. Noah followed shortly after.
He said nothing as the powerful engine roared to life. Teagan stared out the front windshield, feeling as cold and frozen as the snow-covered ground around them. Noah put the truck in gear, and they began a slow, steady descent down the mountain.
“There,” Teagan said, pointing to a mini-mart at the intersection. “You can drop me off there.”
“I said I’d take you anywhere,” Noah said. “You don’t need to get out at the first public gas station you see.”
He was so wrong about that. With every passing second, her resolve weakened, and the desire to stay with him grew stronger.
“It’s fine.”
“At least let me take you somewhere we could get a cup of coffee and something to eat. You didn’t have anything for breakfast.”
No, she hadn’t. If she’d taken one bite of anything, she would’ve thrown it right back up. “Just pull around back. By the delivery truck is fine.”
He exhaled, the sound laden with frustration. “I’m not leaving you at a gas station, Teagan.”
When he stopped at the light, she simply got out herself. He cursed, then pulled into the station. Before he opened his door, she was there.
“We had an agreement, Noah. Don’t make it harder than it has to be.”
His jaw clenched. His nostrils flared. The knuckles on the hand wrapped around the steering wheel turned white. “So, this is it?”
Teagan swallowed past the lump in her throat, fighting against the urge to climb back in the truck and tell him to drive them both far away.
“This is it,” she said, glad when her voice didn’t crack. “Take care of yourself, Noah.”
Then she turned and walked away, forcing herself not to look back.
Teagan quickly blended into the shadows—something that had become second nature. Even at the early hour, the town was busy with folks eager to get out of the house and catch after-Christmas bargains.
Within minutes, she was several blocks away from the intersection, slipping between the buildings like a wraith.
The small coal town hadn’t changed much in the last ten years.
Once upon a time, she’d memorized every sunken window, every set of stairs leading down from the sidewalk, every alley that could provide shelter and safety.
It came back to her now, as if she’d never left.
With her hood pulled down low and her sunglasses on, no one gave her a second glance.
She only noticed the tears when her vision blurred, wiping them away with an impatient swipe.
Was Noah still at the gas station, or had he already moved on? She wasn’t sure which one she would prefer. She was half tempted to sneak back just to see, but it was better she didn’t know. This way, she could believe whatever made her feel better at any given moment.
Teagan found herself in front of a flower store. Red, pink, and creamy-white poinsettias dominated the display. The shopkeeper was hanging a Clearance sign in the window, and before she realized what she was doing, Teagan was inside.
A short time later, Teagan stood in front of her mother’s gravestone. It was small and unobtrusive, bearing only her name and the dates of her birth and death, encircled with engraved Celtic knots.
It was humbling to see how someone’s entire life could be reduced to a minimal epitaph. The cold stone revealed nothing about her being a wife or a mother, about her hopes, dreams, or accomplishments. Just that for a little while, she had simply … existed.
Teagan placed the pot of poinsettias at the base and felt a crushing wave of sadness wash over her.
Life could be so unfair. Her mother had been younger than her when she died.
Her life had been taken so early, robbing her—and Teagan—of so much.
Yet in that brief time, her mom had managed to experience things Teagan hadn’t. Marriage. A child.
“Maggie?” came a trembling voice from behind her, breaking into her reverie.
Teagan didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. She fought against the instinctive urge to run. She was done running. Instead, she took a deep breath and turned around slowly, lowering her hood as she did so.
“Oh my God, Teagan—is that you?”
“Yes, Tony. It’s me.”
Her stepfather stopped at least ten feet away, as if he was afraid to come any closer. In his arms, he gripped a pot of lovely red and white flowers, his expression one of stunned shock.
Tony looked older than she remembered. What remained of his black hair was gray. Where he had once been beefy and strong, he was now gaunt, with deep creases etched into his face. Eyes that had blazed in uncontrolled rage now looked lost.
Had prison made such an impression on him? Or had he finally sobered up enough to feel regret over what he had done?
“I thought you were dead,” he said, his voice ravaged from too many years of drinking and smoking.
Teagan said nothing. For all intents and purposes, she had been. Running was no life. Always looking over her shoulder in fear. Never allowing herself to get close to anyone.
“You look so much like your mother.”
A tear rolled down his cheek, glistening in the pale morning light. Unmoved by the show of emotion, she stayed where she was. She’d learned too many hard lessons at the end of his fists to trust him again.
He extended his hand, as if to approach, but she immediately stepped back. His hand dropped to his side.
“You must hate me.”
Teagan reached for the soul-deep anger she’d kept locked deep inside, only to find that it wasn’t there. The man standing before her wasn’t the abusive drunk she remembered. There was no rage in his eyes, no arrogance in his stance, no chip on his shoulder. If anything, Tony was a broken man.
That realization neither pleased nor displeased her. All she felt was a profound sense of apathy and maybe a tiny stab of pity. Tony had no control over her anymore. No place in her life.
“I wouldn’t blame you,” he said, his gaze dropping to the ground in front of her feet. “You have every right to hate me. The things I did … God, Teagan. I am so sorry.”
She nodded in acknowledgement. Did they mean anything? No, not really. In the end, it didn’t matter. Neither one of them could change the past, and she couldn’t find it in her heart to forgive him. Maybe she would someday, but today was not that day.
Teagan took a deep, cleansing breath, barely noticing the protest of her ribs. Her mission hadn’t changed. There was still Josh to deal with.
She set foot in the direction of her childhood home.
Before long, she was walking familiar trails, though there were fewer of them now than there used to be.
Developments had sprung up where there had once been only trees and fields of black coal ash, and she skirted around condos and single-family dwellings that looked newly built.
The farm where she’d grown up hadn’t changed much. The trees were a little bigger. The barn, more run-down. Smoke rose lazily from the chimney of the old house, which, like the barn, had seen better days, but it looked as if someone was at least trying to keep it up.
Teagan wondered who lived there now. Tony? Or someone else? Not that it mattered. The house had ceased being a home the day her mother died.
Continuing on, Teagan made the loop back toward the town.
The decrepit low-income housing where Josh had once lived had been torn down, replaced by a community park.
Instead of crumbling row homes, there were now young trees, benches, and brightly colored playground equipment, currently covered in snow.
She wondered absently what had become of Josh’s mom, then again realized she didn’t care.
Josh’s mom hadn’t beaten him like Tony had beaten her, but she had ignored her son.
Pretended he didn’t exist, left him to fend for himself.
Teagan wasn’t sure which was worse—the abuse in her childhood or the neglect in Josh’s.
Both, she supposed, could break something inside of a child.
Her stroll down memory lane nearly complete, Teagan walked into Miller’s Diner. She waited in line with everyone else, ordering a large coffee to go. As the woman smiled and handed Teagan her change, recognition sparked in her gaze, and her face went white.
“Hello, Mary,” Teagan said softly.