24. Kendall
Kendall
The night Akio went to the emergency room was the last and only time Kai stayed over.
But he’s been visiting twice a week for a while now, always bringing thoughtful elaborate gifts for Akio and flowers for me.
Sometimes he’ll switch it up and bring me coffee exactly the way I like it, or groceries, which is his gentle way of telling me the fridge is too barren.
But the important thing is that he’s here consistently, without fail for Akio, and a part of me hopes he’s here for me too.
I’m not sure why I expected anything less.
Kai has always been sturdy, dependable, solid.
I'm the one who broke his heart and disappeared.
We sneak kisses and lingering hugs that I always wish would turn into more whenever Akio is out of sight.
But we never let it go farther than that, even though I desperately want to.
Slowly, days turn into weeks and weeks turn into a month and we find ourselves falling into a steady rhythm.
It’s been easy acclimating ourselves to life with Kai, especially when Akio adores him.
So, I know how painful it will be to try to revert back to life without him.
I quickly shake that thought from my head, my fingers hovering over my phone, trying to muster up enough courage to ask Kai out on an official date.
I don’t know what I’m so scared of. This is the same Kai I used to trick or treat with, the Kai who took my virginity, the Kai whose house I used to have dinner at a million times growing up.
The same Kai who came to Pride every year with me and my moms, that I dated for almost five years.
But suddenly, I’m nervous, even though I know he won’t say no.
I know it’ll be a resounding yes, but still, my palms are sweating and my pulse is pounding like a jackhammer.
After going back and forth with myself for days about it, I send off a text to him before I can chicken out.
Hi
Hey
So I’ve been thinking would you want to go on a date this week?
More than anything
I’ve been meaning to ask you
my schedule has just been nonstop
that’s okay
I know sometimes it’s hard for you to make the first move
Kidding
No you’re not.
But you’re right, it is
So you finally admit it?
Admit what?
I made the original first move
Our first kiss
I KISSED YOU
But if that’s what it takes to seal this date then yes Kendall
YOU made the first move
I’m not talking about our first hookup,
I’m talking about our sham wedding
in third grade
Fine. You got me there
Yeah I know
You drive me crazy
in the best possible way
I’m taking that as a compliment
Good, you should
So our date…
How about coffee on Thursday at Milo’s?
Sounds good. I’ll pick you up
What about Thursday though that’s usually my day to see Akio but I have practice at 6
What about this weekend can you come over to see him then?
I have a game Saturday but Sunday I can come over.
I’ll make you both dinner
Sounds perfect