78. Kai
Kai
My father’s betrayal, Kendall’s secrecy, the dread that hovers like a shadow after trying to resolve Aiden’s mess.
They all close in on me at the same time.
I don’t know how to make sense of everything and I don’t know how to keep the dark intrusive thoughts at bay.
All the people I would usually turn to at times like this have let me down miserably.
Jesus fucking Christ, Kai, get it together. There is no one after you.
There is still one last thing I can turn to, a vice that has always been there for me when others weren’t.
You know who didn’t judge you, or ask questions?
Alcohol.
When I pull into Finnegan’s, I watch breathlessly as the black car that’s been trailing me pulls in too.
Fuck. I exit my vehicle, but the black SUV remains parked and running a few spaces down from me.
From my stool at the bar, I glance outside just as the car peels out and speeds away.
Slightly relieved, I bring a glass of whisky to my mouth and for the first time in almost two years, I take a sip.
The amber brown liquid burns my throat and scorches my veins.
Soon, the stress and anger I’d been holding on to starts to evaporate from my body.
I know I’ll pay for it tomorrow, that the first things I’ll feel when I wake up will be guilt and shame.
Along with a nasty hangover. But that doesn’t stop me, because I need relief at this moment more than I need anything else.
Two drinks and a little bit of wallowing later, I check my phone.
Three texts from Kendall checking to make sure I’m okay.
Five missed calls and two voicemails from my mother.
I can’t listen to those yet; I will deal with her a different day.
Unsurprisingly, there is nothing from my dad.
Jax finally responds shortly after 11:00; he said he was leaving Emma’s and asked if I wanted company.
I tell him it’s fine. I don’t really want anyone to see me like this anyways.
I have blown almost two years of sobriety and my life is a mess.
After the bartender announces last call, I stumble out the front door to call an Uber.
I might be in self-destruct mode but I don’t want to die.
I’m hovering with my face buried in my phone trying to keep track of my Uber’s location.
I sway a little, unsteady on my feet when I hear footsteps behind me.
Before I can fully turn around, large thick arms wrap around my trunk and upper body.
“What the fuck?” I slur. “Let me go.” He has my neck wedged in between his elbow, squeezing as hard as he can.
Searing pain explodes in my neck as it becomes harder to breathe.
Panic starts to set in while dots break out in my vision.
I’m writhing and clawing at his arms, my feet scrambling for purchase.
I fight with everything I can, trying to twist away from my captor.
NO, NO, NO. I refuse to fucking die like this.
I swing my foot back hard and connect with his knee. I hear the satisfying crunch of bone but his hold on me remains tight. A sinister voice growls in my ear, “You’ll pay for that, motherfucker.”
Then the attacker brings a cloth to my mouth and
everything
goes.
black.