96. Kai
Kai
I’m fastening my last cuff link when my father’s salt and pepper head appears in my doorway.
“Um, excuse me, I’m looking for the groom,” he jokes. I don’t ever remember things being this easy with my dad. Light. Breezy. Almost refreshing.
“That would be me, I guess,” I respond.
“You guess?” he replies, stalking towards me. This is when I would normally worry he would chastise me, scold me, cut me down. But he doesn’t. “Alright, come on. Let me get a good look at you, son.” I stand and do a theatrical spin, holding my hands out.
“So,” I ask, slightly self-conscious. He brings his hands to my tie and adjusts it.
“There, now it’s perfect,” he comments. “You look sharp, Kai. I’m so proud of you.”
I grunt in response. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that,” I admit.
“Well, I should have said it long before now. Because I am. I always have been.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“Are you nervous?” he wonders, planting himself on the foot of the bed.
“A little.” A lot. A whole fucking lot.
“Don’t be. Just focus on her. You two have always been meant to be together.
Now you’re just making it official, yeah?
” I wasn’t expecting my dad to dish out advice.
I also wasn’t expecting it to be helpful.
But here we are, existing in the fucking twilight zone, I guess.
Before I can respond, Ryo and Jonah come laughing and bumbling into the room, each with a drink in their hand.
Jesus, what I would do for a stiff drink right about now.
Ryo stops short when he sees me. He claps his hands to my face, slightly buzzed already.
“You clean up well, Kai,” he says. He pulls me in for a tight burly hug and claps me on the back. “Congratulations, man. I’m so happy for you guys. Although I don’t know if I can leave this fancy hair to its own devices,” he teases, putting me into a fake headlock that I easily slip out of.
“Cut it out, dick,” I grumble, shoving him off me and running my hands through my hair.
“Congratulations, Kai. I’m happy for you guys,” Jonah joins in. “Can’t say I’m pleased about Kendall’s plus one policy, but I still approve of her for you,” he smiles wide.
“Jonah, you aren’t bringing a one-night-stand or a booty call to our small intimate wedding.
I stand by Kendall on that. Serious partners and spouses only.
” At that moment, my dad clears his throat and hands Ryo and Jonah glasses of champagne.
He offers me a non-alcoholic beer. There’s a pang in my chest when I realize there’s a person missing.
Someone I always thought would be by my side when I got married.
Aiden. I push the thought away as quickly as it arrives.
“I just wanted to toast the groom,” my dad begins. “May your marriage be long and prosperous, your hearts full, and your home happy. Cheers to you and Kendall.” I smile at my dad—genuinely smile at him—while everyone chimes in with cheers.
***
Iwatch Akio walk down the aisle in a black suit that is almost identical to mine, holding Stella’s leash and my heart bursts.
He passes Stella to my mom and then comes to stand next to Ryo.
The music changes and I know who’s about to turn the corner from our long hallway.
I feel blood rushing between my ears before they start ringing.
My hands are beginning to tingle and tremble.
I could get beaten within an inch of my life but I’m too petrified to say my vows?
It feels like the world has been tilted on its axis while my breathing grows unsteady.
But then Kendall comes into focus and everything shifts, the world is righted again because she is my center of gravity.
I love you, she mouths to me. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
The most precious thing I’ve ever loved.
That’s when I start crying hideous, heaving sobs.
Ryo's hand is now on my shoulder to steady me.
He claps me once and whispers, “She’s a vision.”
She’s three steps away from me now in a gorgeous silk dress with long lace sleeves. Her veil billowing behind her and her moms on either side, their arms threaded through hers. She’s graceful, elegant, breathtaking.
Two steps away. I can see she’s crying now too, her efforts to hold back tears just as useless as mine. Her makeup remains intact though and her face, like always, knocks the breath from my lungs.
One step away. I hug both of her moms and kiss them on the cheek. She's standing right in front of me, placing her perfect small hands in mine.
“Hi,” she whispers.
“Hi. You ready?” I ask. She nods.
“Are you?”
“Ken, I’ve been ready to marry you since we were in third grade.”
She smiles her perfect, golden smile that seeps into my bones like warm honey, and suddenly, nothing else matters.
The officiant says a few words, providing an abridged version of our story, how we met, fell in love, and decided to get married.
My sister and Jenna both do heartfelt, tender readings.
But I don’t hear, see, or notice anything but her.
Then it’s time for vows. The officiant looks to me and says, “Kai, you may now read your vows to Kendall.”
I take the neatly folded piece of paper from my pocket, my fingers shaking and sweating and begin.
“Kendall, I knew as soon as I met you that I would never be the same. Once I experienced your bold and brave energy, with your wild dark curls and bright eyes, your smile that felt like sunshine on my face, I knew you would alter the course of my life forever. And so you did. I love to love you, I live to love you. It’s a privilege and a blessing to be your partner and Akio’s father.
I’ll choose you and love you in every lifetime we’re together and I’ll keep choosing you every day.
And while this road we’ve had to walk to get here hasn’t always been easy, it has absolutely been worth it.
You are my best friend, you always have been and I’m so grateful that we became neighbors almost twenty years ago.
I promise to love you every day. I promise to protect and provide for you and our family.
I promise to keep you grounded and drive you nuts.
I promise to nurture your dreams. I promise to always put you and Akio first. And I promise to always be your home, your safe place, and your person.
You are every dream I could ever hope for.
I hope you know how much I love you, today, tomorrow, forever. Always.”