Chapter 11 #2
Ellie didn’t look away from practice but managed to give Caleb the middle finger. Their dynamic fascinated Jamie.
Without warning, Caleb leaned down toward Jamie and whispered in his ear. “She’ll be the coach around here one day. I’d put money on it.”
Jamie cleared his throat, because the low rumble of Caleb’s voice in his ear was doing funny things to his brain. When Caleb pulled back, his lips softly brushed the corner of Jamie’s ear, and warmth flooded his body down to his toes.
“Er, yep. Yeah, totally,” Jamie managed, then internally cringed.
Caleb bit his lip. “By the way, you got Valentine’s Day plans?”
Jamie’s eyes went wide. “What—no. No, of course not.”
Caleb reached out and brushed Jamie’s cheek with his knuckles. “Will you let me take you out?”
Jamie blinked and said, “Yeah.” It came out sounding more like an exhale, earning him a smile and another brush of Caleb’s soft fingers.
“So cute,” Caleb breathed. It was clear that he liked to fluster Jamie by being so… hot. And sweet. And that just flustered Jamie more. It felt like the world had zeroed in on a single point: Caleb. With his smoldering eyes, and his devilish smirk, and now Jamie’s brain felt all fuzzy—
“Mister Caleb?” The little voice jolted Jamie so hard he almost fell from his chair. The two boys—around six or seven in age—were panting as they finally made it over to Caleb. With identical blond hair and striking blue eyes, Jamie was fairly certain they were twins.
Caleb turned. “Sup, boys?”
The one bounced excitedly on the balls of his feet while the other wrung his hands nervously. His eyes flicked nervously to Jamie and then back to Caleb.
“Oops, my bad.” Caleb turned. “Brody and Steven, this is Jamie. Jamie, this is Brody.” He nodded to the bouncing one. “And this is Steven.” The hand wringer. “And that’s Ellie, remember her?”
That was never confirmed because the two boys just stared at Ellie with their mouths hanging open. Their little cheeks turned pink.
“Hey, guys,” Ellie said.
Brody went back to bouncing on his feet. It made Jamie a little anxious.
Steven asked shyly, “Are you Mister Caleb’s friend?”
“Um, yeah,” Jamie said in a small voice.
Caleb flashed a small smile and said, “He’s my partner, Steven. We live together.”
Brody started bouncing harder, and Jamie had to resist the urge to squeeze his eyes shut. “Are you two, like, gay?”
Ellie snorted. Jamie wanted to melt into the earth.
“Yep,” Caleb said proudly. “We are gay.”
Brody’s head started to bob as he bounced. “Cool.” He turned to Caleb. “Did you see the new season of One Piece?”
Caleb dropped to one knee and said, “Heck yeah, I did. Are you kidding? I thought it was sick.”
And then the conversation turned to whatever show they all apparently watched. Brody continued to jog in place as he went into detail about every single character, who apparently ate fruit to get powers or something, and the crazy monsters they fought.
The bouncing was really starting to make Jamie want to crawl out of his skin.
Are you two, like, gay?
The question flooded him with dread and guilt and shame, and then that filled him with even more guilt.
Because Jamie knew that there was nothing wrong with it, and there was nothing to be ashamed of, but he wasn’t used to people knowing.
Or talking about it. Or admitting it to himself.
He felt like he’d just come out of the closet to Ellie, like, two seconds ago.
And now he had a domestic partner and a fiancé.
Were they still engaged if he didn’t remember? Oh God, they needed to talk about that.
It was getting harder and harder to pull air into his lungs, so he closed his eyes and squeezed his hands into fists…
“Hey guys, you know what?” Caleb’s voice filtered through the storm of anxiety. “I have a surprise for you in my bag. Side pocket. Why don’t you run over and see, okay?”
Jamie jolted when a hand landed softly on his shoulder. When he cracked open his eyes, Caleb was staring down at him with concerned eyes.
“Jamie, sweetheart,” Caleb said softly. “I need you to breathe, okay? I think you might be panicking.”
Jamie shook his head and tried to say no, I don’t think so, but no words came out.
They were lodged in his throat, but he couldn’t swallow them down, either.
His head was a tornado of alarm bells, a flurry of white snow and blood rushing to his ears.
He tried to speak, but the alarm bells kept getting louder and louder, and Jamie just wanted them to stop.
“J, breathe,” Ellie said. “In and out. It’s fine. You’re totally fine. Everything is okay.”
No, it’s not.
“We are right here, alright?” Caleb’s smooth voice was a bit closer now. “Me and Ellie are right here for you. Nothing bad is going to happen.”
Caleb’s strong hand slid to Jamie’s lower back and rubbed slow, soothing circles. After a few breaths, the tornado in Jamie’s head settled, and he stared down at his hands. He suddenly felt really tired. And cold.
“I think it’s time to go home,” Ellie said. Jamie felt Caleb’s strong hands pull him up to stand and heard the shuffle of Ellie packing up their foldable chairs.
“I’m okay,” Jamie squeaked. “We don’t have to go.”
“It’s okay, I’m done here anyway,” Caleb said, pulling Jamie securely into his side. He liked being tucked into Caleb’s warm body like this.
Jamie’s forehead scrunched up as they led him toward the stadium exit. “Wait, what happened to Brody and his brother?”
“I had them run over to my bag.”
“Oh. Did you really have something for them? Or did you make that up?”
“I get them trading cards. I brought a few for them to open.”
Jamie’s brain still felt fuzzy and, for whatever reason, this information bamboozled him. “You do?”
Caleb chuckled. “Yeah. They love it.”
“Reed!” A voice yelled from across the field, and Caleb tensed beside Jamie. The coach was staring at them from across the field, his son standing beside him. Brody and Steven were showing Nate their cards.
“El, get Jamie to the car? I’ll be there in a few.”
“On it.” Ellie linked arms with Jamie and tugged him, rather forcefully, back to the car. The hair on the back of his neck stood up as he felt eyes on him, and the skin there heated with embarrassment.
Maybe it was Ellie’s nurse training, but she was the best to have around in a crisis. She was just so… calm. And capable. A stronghold in Jamie’s life since he was a kid.
“Thanks, El,” he said sadly. “Sorry we had to leave.”
“No problem, J.”
Guilt flooded his chest. Why was he like this? Why did he have to be anxious about everything all the time? There was nothing wrong with his sexuality. Nothing at all.
What are you, kid, a fag?
He shook his head, willing the memory away. Maybe times had changed, and people were kind and inclusive…
“Don’t worry about it,” Ellie said kindly. “I wanted to go when I saw Halcombe, anyway.”
“Caleb’s boss? Why?”
A beat of silence.
“He’s a homophobic prick, that’s why.”
Jamie’s heart sank as he forced himself not to look back at Caleb. Maybe times hadn’t changed.