Chapter Forty-Eight
JESS
I lean over Luke’s shoulder to see what he’s scrolling through on his iPad. I’m surprised to see a page from Rightmove. It used to be his obsession, scrolling through countless property listings, trying to find the next gem he would like to restore, but I haven’t seen him do it for years now.
I’m secretly pleased. Even though, in his timeline, it’s a whole year since we had a conversation about this, it was yesterday to me. The seed I planted is starting to sprout. That gives me hope.
‘Where’s that house? It’s gorgeous!’
He jumps, as if he didn’t realize I was standing there. His finger hovers over the ‘x’ on the corner of the tab but then he moves it away. ‘It’s in Bickley. You know, one of those roads near the station that runs up towards the high school.’
I know the road he’s talking about. Even the smallest houses on that quiet street would make a good-sized family home for a couple from the City. From the glimpse I got, it looked as if it hadn’t been updated in decades. Luke’s favourite thing.
‘What made you to decide to look?’ I ask, as if it doesn’t matter what his answer is.
He takes a sip from the coffee mug on the breakfast bar and shifts on his stool. ‘I didn’t tell you this, but I ran into Elena a couple of weeks ago. She asked me if I wanted to do another project with her. I said no, of course, but it got me thinking.’
‘You should’ve said. It would be nice to see her again.’
He gives me a sheepish smile. ‘I bumped into her at that pottery place out beyond the M25 when I was looking for your anniversary present. I couldn’t say anything because, you know, I didn’t want to give the game away.’
Luke’s present to me, an abstract figurine, is sitting on the mantelpiece in the living room.
It’s stylish and beautiful, possibly not what I would’ve chosen for myself.
Last time, I wasn’t sure about it, and it ended up in the cupboard under the stairs, but this time …
I don’t know. It’s growing on me, but hearing that Elena had a hand in choosing it makes sense.
I decide not to press the issue of him flipping houses. It’s enough that he’s thinking about it. But I’m secretly hoping that by the time I wake up tomorrow morning, a whole year later, he might have made the jump and done something about it.
‘What time do you think you’ll get home from work?’
He drains his coffee cup. ‘I may have to get everyone to stop early today, not just me. This weather … ’
It’s been unseasonably warm for May. We’re having a bit of a heatwave in the UK, which is fine for the first twenty-four hours, with everyone stripping off their woollies and donning shorts and tank tops so they can blister in the sun, but we’re five days into it now; everyone’s wilting and moaning they can’t sleep.
You can’t find a fan in the shops for love nor money.
‘Take care of yourself,’ I shout after Luke as he heads out the door. ‘And remember to drink enough!’ I swear, that man would be a shrivelled as a prune if I didn’t remind him to hydrate.
Once he’s gone, I continue my routine of scouring my bullet journal.
Alongside a couple of things I want to set in motion today that will hopefully avoid the unintended fireworks that happened at our anniversary party in one year’s time, I have a couple of clients later in the morning.
Although neither Luke nor I booked the day off, I’m not as worried about it as I was in previous years.
Things started off well for us this morning, very well, if you know what I mean, and the vibe I get is peace, happiness.
All I’ve got to do is keep this ticking over for another twenty-four hours.
Something significant has to happen tomorrow.
It’s the day it all started. I’m hoping, if I get things right, that it will also be the day that everything stops, I’ll be ejected back into my usual life and time will return to its mundane plodding through the days and weeks and months. Sounds like bliss.
‘Jess! I’m so glad I caught you,’ Hannah says at the other end of the phone. ‘Is Luke there?’
I’m trying to shove a bowl of overnight oats down my neck before I head off to see my first client (elderly lady who just had a hip replacement). I’m eating at the counter, so I pop my bowl down. ‘No. He just left.’
‘Oh, good.’
‘Good?’ I assumed Hannah was already at the office and wanted to catch him for some reason.
‘Yeah. Well, maybe … ’ She doesn’t sound like it’s such a good thing. I wince, holding the expression as I wait for her to spit it out. ‘I’m not quite sure how to say this, Jess, but I found something out that I think you need to know about.’
‘Oh?’
‘Yes. It kind of came out in conversation around the office – well, more like I overheard something.’ She pauses to take a breath. ‘Luke has been seeing Elena.’
A small tight knot had been forming in my stomach and now I breathe out and release it. ‘Oh, yeah … He told me all about it.’
‘He did?’
‘Sure. They ran into each other when he was looking for my anniversary present. I think she might have helped him pick it out, actually.’
‘Oh. Okay.’ There’s silence for a few seconds. I adore my best friend, but she does love to be the bearer of good gossip. I think I might have accidentally taken the wind from her sails by telling her I already knew. ‘And you’re fine with that?’
I decide I’m finished with my oats, so I move the bowl to the counter just above the dishwasher and turn my phone onto speaker so I can deal with the contents and load it properly. ‘Yes.’
‘Just be careful,’ Hannah says. ‘You always had a weird feeling about her, remember?’
‘Yes, I know. But I think I was being a bit paranoid.’
Hannah makes a dismissive noise. ‘You know my thoughts on the whole “girl best friend” scenario. That’s how everything started with Connor and his side piece. I just don’t want you to be complacent like I was, to be fobbed off with, “Oh, it’s just platonic!”’
I completely understand why my best friend is fighting my corner on this.
Connor told her for at least a year that the woman from the gym was just a friend.
With benefits, it turned out. Lots and lots of benefits.
He’s now shacking up in her flat and Hannah is worried they’re on the verge of announcing their engagement before the divorce is even finalized.
‘Thank you,’ I tell her, my voice full of warmth. ‘I appreciate you looking out for me.’
‘Just watch your back with that one. Do you remember how you told me she once called herself his “work wife”?’ Hannah snorts, revealing exactly what she thinks about that.
‘Well, she can fuck right off. That position has been filled. If anything, the way I keep this office running like clockwork, I’m Luke’s work wife now, and you know I’ve got your back! ’
I laugh at the thought of Hannah describing herself as Luke’s work wife. They get on really well, but there is no way they would fit as a couple. He’d never be able to deal with all of Han’s drama.
‘And you’re not worried at all about Elena?’ she says again.
‘Nope. Not worried at all. But I will bear what you said in mind.’
‘Good. Oh, bloody hell, here he comes. I better get off the phone and look like I’m doing something useful.’ Hannah hangs up before I can even say goodbye and I chuckle to myself.
No, I’m not worried. Four days ago, when we were in Venice, I chose to trust him, to put my faith in him.
I’m not going back on that now. That’s what Luke was saying, wasn’t it, when we had that argument the night of our tenth anniversary party?
He said I always thought the worst of him, and that meant I was always expecting him to disappoint me.
No wonder he was upset. I’m not going to make that mistake a second time.