5. Katy
Chapter five
Katy
"I owe you really big, K.” Amie ducks back into her car and emerges with a dinosaur-patterned suitcase and a duffel bag. She drops both on the pavement just long enough to quietly close and lock the car door, before hoisting the bags back into her arms and following me down the short path to my front door. We continue our whispered conversation inside.
“Honestly, it’s no bother. You know I’m happy to have her.”
“You’ve had to change your plans for me because Mum’s not well. I mean it, Katy. I owe you.”
“Fine, I’ll let you buy me dinner when you get home.” I use my elbow to flick on the standing lamp in the corner of my living room before depositing a sleeping Maisy on the sofa. Amie looks at her with tender eyes, pulling one of my chunky blankets over her daughter’s still body, before wrapping me in a bear hug.
“Love you, Katy-cat. Give her a kiss for me when she wakes up, yeah?”
“Of course. You’d better go if you want to beat the traffic.”
“Fuck, I hate this.” Amie sniffles, then shakes her head and hands while sucking in a big breath that lifts her chest and shoulders. “Okay, time to fly.”
I suck in a long, slow breath of my own as Amie leans in to kiss Maisy’s curls softly before standing and heading for the door. The love she has for her daughter is something I can’t help but desperately want for myself someday. I’ve always known I wanted to be a mum someday, and watching my best friend’s journey into motherhood, and getting to join her as Maisy’s godmother, being part of the village that helps her raise the beautiful girl asleep on my sofa, has only made me want it more. Seeing Amie emotional—seeing anyone emotional, with any flavour of emotion—gets me in my own feels, and I have to fight back my own tears as I meet her at my front door.
“Stop it, K, you’re gonna make me cry.”
“Me? You’re the one making me cry!”
Amie wraps me in another hug—a quick one this time—before wrapping her hand around the door handle.
“I’ll be back on Friday. I should be back before lunch, but we’ll see.”
“Get out of here, A. Be safe in those unfriendly skies.”
Amie blows me a quick kiss as she backs out of my house, and I pretend to catch it and tuck it into my imaginary pocket. I stand at the door and wrap my fuzzy cardigan around my body, watching as she folds herself into her car and pulls away, driving off into the early morning darkness.
I didn’t have to rearrange too many plans to help her out, despite what Amie says. I have a short shift at the supermarket this evening, covering the evening supervisor who is sick, but Paloma has agreed to come over and watch Maisy for a few hours. Other than that, my only plan for the day—for the rest of the week, even—had been to go for a wander around the shops. That can easily wait. I’d much rather spend the day with my favourite three-year-old.
But as it’s only a little after four in the morning, and she’s still asleep, I might as well take some time to have a quick shower and dress for the day, first. I’m not sure what we’ll do, but Amie said something about a new jigsaw puzzle in Maisy’s bag, and I expect she’ll probably want to play with her planes and dinosaurs at some point. They’re her favourites, and we often use the planes and model street furniture to build elaborate airports for her dinosaur families to fly from.
When I return to the living room, she’s still fast asleep under the blanket. I retrieve Roger, her stuffed dinosaur—her favourite toy and near-constant companion—from the floor, where he’s fallen, and tuck him beneath her arm. She stirs slightly, murmuring something in sleep, before stretching out her legs and falling back into the arms of slumber.
I might as well take the time to catch up on some reading. One of my favourite authors published a new book last week, and I’ve been looking forward to it for months now. I finished my last book last night, so I’m finally ready to get stuck in to this new cowboy romance. It’s full of small-town vibes with the promise of dirty talk, and highlights have been popping up all over my social media feed from authors and readers alike as they fall in love with yet another book boyfriend.
I make myself a cup of coffee and a slice of toast before settling into the enormous armchair in the corner of the room, book in hand.
It turns out the cowboy is ex-military. I’m not usually one for military romance. I much prefer cowboys or athletes, or small-town men with big dirty mouths, but I’m hooked on this book from the first page. The grumpy-sunshine story is compelling, but six chapters in, my mind begins to drift.
I find myself drawing parallels between this book and real life; between this fictional cowboy and Jay. The way they both wear quiet stoicism as a facade to hide their demons from view. The way the female character finds herself drawn to the cowboy, her earnestness and her desire to help and comfort him—that’s something I identify with all too well. I slam the book closed after another chapter, just as Maisy begins to stir and the first fingers of light begin to lick at the sky.
“Mama?”
“It’s me, love.” I drop to my knees beside the sofa, brushing Maisy’s unruly curls back from her face. “I’ve got you, Maisy Pop.”
“Where Mama?” Her eyes brim with tears as her lower lip begins to wobble. I pull her into my arms, cradling her head against my chest.
“Mama had to work, honey.” I press a kiss to her hair. “She thought you might like to come and stay with me, though. Is that okay?”
“Want Mama.”
“I know, love.” I kiss her curls again. “She’ll be home soon, though. Daddy, too.”
“Daddy home?”
“Soon, baby. They’ll be home soon. Until then, how about we have some breakfast?”
“Cheerios?”
Ah. I don’t think I have Cheerios in the kitchen. I think fast, trying to come up with an alternative that won’t result in a tired, emotional little girl having a meltdown at six in the morning.
“I don’t know if I have any Cheerios left, Maisy Pop, I think you ate them all last time! You know what I do have, though?” I pull away slightly, looking down into her green eyes.
“What?”
“I have toast. And I have bananas… and strawberries.” I grin wickedly at my goddaughter, who loves berries of all shapes and sizes.
“Boo-berries?” Her question is hopeful, and I rack my brain trying to run through the contents of my fridge. There might still be half a punnet of blueberries in there, if they’re still viable. My fridge is definitely overdue a clear-out, but that’s my least favourite chore and the one I’m most likely to put off for as long as I possibly can.
“Shall we go and have a look?”
“Yeah!”
Maisy wraps her arms and legs around me like a koala and I carry her into the kitchen.
“Goodness me, little lady, you’re going to be too tall for this soon! You’re nearly as tall as me!”
Maisy throws her head back and cackles, Roger clutched tightly in one fist behind my shoulder. I lower her to the ground and she shuffles impatiently from one foot to the other as I take my time to inspect the inside of my fridge.
“Yup, there’s the strawberries… and the raspberries…” Maisy makes a quiet squeaking sound as I move things around and pause for dramatic effect. “And… we have blueberries !”
I pull out the small plastic pot. They look a little past their best, but still perfectly edible.
“How about some toast with honey, and some berries on the side?”
Maisy nods happily.
“Do you want to do a wee first, or have breakfast first?”
She takes a moment to think. “Wee first! Aunty K, I wee first.”
“Good choice.” I wink at her as I put the fruit back in the fridge. “Race you to the bathroom!”
Maisy rushes out of the kitchen and thunders up the stairs ahead of me. I take an extra moment to grab her suitcase from the front door on my way, so she has her toothbrush and clothes, and when I reach the bathroom, Maisy is ready to wash her hands. I flush for her and lead her to the sink, then turn on the tap.
“Wow, you’re like Super Speedy Girl today, Maisy Pop!”
“I fast ,” she declares. “It Roger. He got magic power.”
Roger, for his part, is sitting on the carpet just outside the open bathroom door. He’s not allowed into the bathroom at Amie’s house, for fear of him being dropped or dirtied, and that rule has extended to my house, as well as her grandparents’ homes, and Ruth’s and Paloma’s flats when she visits them, too.
“Magic powers?” I lower my voice. “Does that mean you have magic powers, too?”
Maisy cackles again. “You funny, Aunty K.”
“ You’re funny , Miss Mae.” I tickle her belly lightly before helping her dry her hands. “Do you want to brush your teeth and get dressed before breakfast, or have breakfast first?”
“Umm… breakfast first!”
“Good choice! Race ya!”
Maisy grabs Roger and plops down on the top step, before bouncing down each step in turn on her bottom, laughing the whole way. I follow, shaking my head. As Maisy eats, I text both Amie and Cam to fill them in on their daughter’s antics. Neither one of them responds—Amie is already flying, and it’s the middle of the night in Philadelphia, where Cam is finishing his final trip of his working block before coming home to spend a couple of weeks with his family.
Sometime around mid-morning, Maisy is curled up on the armchair with her tablet, watching her favourite cartoon. Twin dinosaurs, Dylan and Dandy, are busy digging a tunnel to the other side of the world. We’ve already drawn several pictures and completed a jigsaw puzzle, and I’m wiping down the surfaces in the kitchen when I hear my phone buzz on the counter.
ROO
My boss is an absolute knobweasel
@Katy @Lolo are either of u free? I am soooo done with work today
Lolo
i’ve got a shoot in 20 mins but free after lunch if u wanna hang
Katy
I have Maisy but you’re welcome to come over and join us. We’re watching Dylan and Dandy. Might do a jigsaw later.
ROO
OMG my faves. Be there soon. Pop the kettle on sis.
Katy
I’ll do one better. I’ve got those fancy latte pods.
Caramel or french vanilla?
ROO
Caramel pls LOVE YOU
I stuff my phone into the pocket of my cardigan before preparing my coffee maker for Ruth. Her flat is a fifteen minute drive from my house if there’s no traffic, so I won’t bother switching the machine on until she’s almost here. She texts me a picture of herself in her car with her tongue sticking out, and Maisy takes great delight in posing with me for the selfie I send in return. I time it perfectly, and by the time Ruth knocks in a cheerful rhythm on my door, the coffee is just about ready.
“Hey Maisy, Aunty Roo is here!”
“Yay, Aunty Roo!” Maisy barrels towards the door, dancing impatiently as she waits for me to catch up and open it.
“Maisy!”
“Aunty Roo!”
Ruth sweeps Maisy into her arms and presses big, noisy kisses to her cheeks as she carries her into the living room.
“Hello to you too, Roo,” I laugh, following behind them with Ruth’s coffee.
“Hi, Sweet Thing.” Ruth pulls me into a side-hug before flopping dramatically onto the sofa. While Maisy is distracted by dinosaur antics, Ruth leans over and speaks out of the side of her mouth.
“So, why the change of plans? I thought Mae was with Suze today?” Amie’s mum, Suzanne, often looks after Maisy when Amie is working. If she can’t do it, then Ruth, Paloma and I will take turns, depending on our schedules. I’ve known Suze almost as long as I’ve known Amie, and she was like a second mother to me growing up. Ruth and I used to call her Mama Suze. We spent almost as much time with her as we did with our own mothers.
“Yeah, Suze is sick,” I say quietly. “I mean, it’s nothing terminal, it’s just a nasty virus or something, but she’s out of action for a few days.”
“I see.” Ruth takes a mouthful of coffee before sitting straighter in her seat and addressing Maisy. “So, what we are doing today, then, Little Mae? I heard we were watching Dylan and Dandy?”
“Yeah!” Maisy grabs her tablet and leaps onto the sofa beside Ruth. “You watch too, Aunty Roo?”
“I’d love to watch!”
Cartoons occupy Maisy for another fifteen minutes before she hops up and drags her duffel bag into the middle of the room.
“You play planes, Aunty Roo? Aunty K?”
I look at Ruth, and we both slide to the carpet obediently, legs stretched wide to accommodate the diecast models and plastic dinosaur figurines spilling from the bag as Maisy upends it.
“So, you had lunch with my brother, huh?”
“What about it?”
“Oh, nothing. How was he, though? He wasn’t a dick to you, was he?” Ruth leans in and whispers the last part, keen to get information without Maisy hearing.
“He’s fine, Roo,” I say. “And he was a perfect gentleman. Paid for lunch and everything.”
“Wow. He never buys my lunch, the bastard.”
“Maybe he just likes me more.”
“I’m his favourite sister.”
“You’re his only sister.”
“Therefore, by default, his favourite.”
“Stop worrying so much, Ruth.”
“Says the queen of worrying about everyone.”
I snort inelegantly.
“Really, love. We had a nice brunch. It was… nice.”
“Of all the people I thought my brother might be friends with…”
“Excuse you.”
“You know I don’t mean it like that, K.” She nudges my knee. “I just mean—look. You’re the nicest, sweetest, most kind-hearted soul I’ve ever met in my life. Look at today, you’ve just dropped everything to be on Maisy duty. And Jay is… a grumpy arsehole, quite honestly.”
“You know I’d do it a hundred times again. And Jay—he’s been through a lot.”
“I know. Shit, Katy… I know. And he still is, you know? But he won’t talk to me about any of it. He thinks I don’t know he’s hiding stuff from me, but I’m not dumb. I know him, Katy. He’s my brother.”
“I’m sure he will, in time,” I say kindly. “He’s probably still processing everything himself.” I think back to the book I borrowed from the library. Staying quiet about their experiences isn’t uncommon for veterans when they return from deployments. Nor is it for people who’ve been injured as they begin the road to recovery.
“Honestly, Roo. He seemed… okay. Guarded. I didn’t know him before, so I don’t know if that’s just who he is—”
“Eh, kinda.”
“But we had a nice lunch, and we’re going back this weekend. There are a lot of craft beers to work through on that menu, and it’s not like you or Lo or Amie will drink them with me.”
“I see how it is. Replacing us for a new, beer-drinking bestie.” Ruth pokes her tongue out at me, and I poke her in the ribs.
“Never,” I say resolutely. I could never replace my best girls. Not for anything, or anyone.