Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Ben felt more than a little choked up watching Cooper holding Hannah’s hand as they headed toward the woods.
His boy had clearly embraced her, and from her radiant smile, she’d clearly fallen for him. Funny how that seemed to make his heart pump louder in his chest. They were together. Woman and child. A vision he’d had so many times when he’d thought about him and Hannah having a family.
Together.
On McAllister land.
Working toward the same goal.
Neil followed the pair with Tank, who was attempting to herd them along. Ben had to respect him for coming up and helping—even though his jealousy of the man still was as unwelcome as a late spring frost.
“You planning on getting off your behind and saying hello to Hannah?” Gramps bit out.
“She seems to be moving along now,” he only answered. Besides, he didn’t want to ruin the moment.
His grandfather gave a wince as he twisted in the cab to face him. His eyes were keen despite the wrinkles and age spots surrounding them, a testament to all the sunrises he’d seen.
He was leather hard and good to the core, and as he’d grown older, Gramps had come into a softer side of himself.
He was quick to lay an encouraging hand on a shoulder or sit in a chair and sing to Cooper when he was colicky.
But there was no softness today. Only keen understanding, the kind that made Ben want to throw up more walls and light out of the cab.
“You want to get your heart and head straight, you need to work it—like you would the land. Ben, your heart has lain fallow all these years after Amber tore through it like a bunch of prairie dogs.”
He gave a rude snort. “More like a pack of wild dogs.”
“You get the idea, sonny. Now it’s time to re-till and plant what you really want.
A happy home. A loving wife. A beautiful family.
I know your father didn’t fare well in the love department, but your grandma and I have.
So did my parents and Grandma Elena and Grandpa Turner.
When I used to watch you and Hannah run around, I knew you two could go the distance. ”
Well, now he knew for sure the older man hoped for the same reconciliation that Will did. “Gramps…”
“Oh, don’t ‘Gramps’ me.” He held up his hand and pointed at his plain gold wedding ring. “Some working men don’t wear rings so they don’t catch it on barbed wire or anything else that could tear a finger off.”
Ben had used that excuse with Amber to never wear his when they’d been married. Not because he stepped out on her, but because he couldn’t stomach the reminder of his mistake.
“I chose to trust that the ring your grandmother put on my finger on our wedding day carried a special blessing. One that would never allow me to be hurt. I’ve worn it since that day seventy-two years ago.
You do your work with your head and your heart, most of which involves Hannah…
You’ve got a shot at your own special kind of happiness. ”
His overstimulated heart started thudding in his chest. “Gramps, I’m just trying to do the best I can every day—by Cooper and everyone else here on the ranch.”
“Bullshit.” Gramps poked him in the chest. “I know you’re your own man, Ben, but your grandma and I agree on one thing, and we can’t hold back saying it with Father Time ticking away.
Stop squatting with your spurs on. You made a mistake by not going to Scotland with Hannah.
Admit it. Tell her you’re sorry. Then make up. ”
He finally turned off the tractor and stared out across the way to where Hannah stood holding her son’s hand, Neil by her side. “What if she wants to love that damn Scot?”
Gramps sputtered. “She might wish otherwise, but she can’t. She loves you—even if she’s madder than a wet hen at you reneging on going along with her. You step back and think a second, you’d be pretty mad in her place.”
He grunted. “We’d planned to marry after college—”
“Sonny, you have to give your woman purpose—even when it’s tough.
You two were young and still finding your purpose.
Your grams and I married young. When that happens, you have to make extra space for both people’s hopes and dreams. Her getting that scholarship changed things.
Which is why everyone on the ranch was ready to support you stepping away from your duties to go with her. ”
“So I screwed things up all around.”
“You think your grandma hasn’t wanted to hit my rock-hard head with a frying pan once or twice? Give Hannah a reason to stop being angry. Remind her of the good stuff. Land sakes, son, this ain’t rocket science.”
He snorted. “Rocket science might be easier.”
“Don’t overcomplicate matters. If you could wipe the past clean, would you still want her? Answer me honestly.”
He was jealous of the Scot. Which was just great. He was still attracted to her and moved to aching tenderness when he saw her with his boy. If they didn’t have all this baggage, he would have asked her out in a hot second. “Yes, I would.”
“See how simple it is. Now, I’m going to go on and say hello before Cooper drags her completely away.” He opened the door to the cab. “If you’re smart, you’ll show her all the reasons to stay here with you in Sanctuary Springs like you both had always talked about.”
He didn’t like to push back with Gramps, but he couldn’t stop himself. “I hear what you’re saying, but like you said, I need to make up my own mind.”
“Don’t I know it?” He tapped him on his well-loved Stetson.
“Only don’t be too stubborn, Ben. It’s a fine McAllister trait with cattle, horses, and bad weather but not women.
Listen to an old man. I don’t want to see you sitting alone on the porch, like your father.
He’s lonely—even in the midst of land and family.
Deep down, we both know you don’t want your life to turn out that way neither. ”
Taking the descent slowly, Gramps climbed down from the tractor and headed over to the group.
Hannah caught sight of him and smiled widely, and when Gramps arrived, she kissed his wrinkled cheek as he pulled her close.
Whatever he muttered in her ear had her laughing, the sound as clear and pure as the water running in the adjoining creek.
He cursed under his breath as he watched his grandfather look back over his shoulder and drill him with a glare.
He felt like a bad little boy. Muttering to himself, he swung down from the tractor and started walking over.
His gaze went to his father. He was still clearing branches with the other hands, yet somehow a man apart.
For as long as Ben remembered, since his mother had left, that was how his father had been.
He hadn’t thought about ending up the same way, but that was why Gramps had smacked him upside the head with the mention.
Deep down, he didn’t want to end up alone. What man did? God knew no other woman had interested him. When he’d gone into town, there had been some attempts at flirtation, sure, but nothing solid. He wasn’t big on casual encounters. He didn’t have the time or temperament for them.
Cooper and the ranch had been his focus. He supposed he could keep cruising like that if he didn’t make a change.
Was he condemning himself to live a lonely life if he didn’t at least try to make up with Hannah? They had the spark to light the fire again, but did they have enough staying power to keep it burning?
If he was being completely honest with himself, the problem wasn’t about passion with him and Hannah. It was about commitment and ensuring the actions matched the words.
“You made a mistake not going to Scotland with Hannah. Admit it. Tell her you’re sorry. Then make up. She loves you—even if she’s madder than a wet hen at you reneging on going along with her. You step back and think a second, you’d be pretty mad in her place.”
For his part, he wondered if he’d fully trust that Hannah would settle here. If she could leave once, couldn’t she do that again? But then he thought about losing her again, and that was only after a handful of days of having her home. She fits here. She always had.
And I want her to choose this place as her own.
If he wanted Hannah in his life in any capacity, he needed to do the one thing he hadn’t been able to do for years.
Apologize.
Then maybe he could remind her of the good stuff, and himself, assuming she didn’t heave something at him, which he certainly deserved.