Chapter 19 #2
“Be silly to get mauled by a mountain lion right as you got back,” he teased, gesturing for her to walk through the door.
She looked up as if imploring heaven before going out onto the front porch. He sailed past her with a hint of a smile on his lips. She followed him down the porch steps, fists clenched. “You’re making that up. Otherwise, you’d never let me and Cooper walk alone from the main house.”
He lifted his wrist and tapped it. “It’s later now. Don’t poke at me, Hannah. It’s been a nice evening.”
“Has it?” She increased her pace until she stood in front of him, making him come to a stop. “You didn’t say two words at dinner. Now you want to talk?”
“Why does no one seem to know I was listening?” He tilted his head down and gave her an aggrieved look that only accentuated the masculine lines of his face. “Hannah, I was hanging on your every word.”
“Really? What’s the name of the historical statue that’s had a traffic cone on top?”
“The Duke of Wellington statue in Glasgow. But we’re getting off track. That’s not why I wanted to walk you home.”
“Then why?”
He cleared his throat. “I wanted to apologize for not going to Scotland with you.”
“What?”
“Well, don’t act like the sun went dark in the sky.
Dammit, Hannah, I’m trying to say I’m sorry.
For not…hell…for being an absolute jerk.
I should have gone with you after I agreed to.
Tonight, hearing all your stories…I knew we would have had fun together and that I made the greatest mistake of my life. Not that I didn’t know that already…”
Rocking back on her heels, she knew shock rained over her face. “You admit that?”
“Yeah, although it seems like a day late and a dollar short.” He took her shoulders in his hands. “I’m sorry, Hannah. As sorry as I can be. I was a fool, and I swear I’ll try to make it up to you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Do you have any herbs that encourage forgiveness?”
She stared at him in shock. “First, an epic apology, and now you want to talk herbs? You think I didn’t drink boatloads of herbal heartbreak teas to get over you?”
He gave a short laugh, rubbing her shoulders in a sweet gesture before releasing her. “Well, keep drinking them. I’m going to need all the help I can get. I’ll send up the largest teapot we have at the house.”
Teapots and tisanes? Who was this man? “Sometimes I don’t understand you at all, Ben McAllister.”
He tipped the rim of his cowboy hat up and smiled softly, making her heart catch. “Someone recently counseled me on not overcomplicating things. I’m finally starting to see his point.”
Part of her wondered who had spoken with him, but she made herself roll her eyes instead. “Well, I’m glad you do.”
“In fact, suddenly the landscape is crystal clear.” He swept his hand out, and Hannah shivered as she felt the air move around her.
“You know how it snows for days with zero visibility, then the sun comes out? The sky is so blue it almost breaks your heart, and the land sparkles like diamonds. Everything is crisp and new. That’s how I feel right now. ”
He was mesmerizing like this, and she felt her heart race in response. Ben didn’t show a poet’s soul often, but on those rare occasions, he was like that blue sky. He could practically break your heart with the beauty of his spirit.
“You’d best go in, sweetheart.” He flicked his finger playfully toward the steps of her porch. “I’ll wait to make sure that ol’ mountain lion doesn’t get you.”
Hearing him call her sweetheart gave her a thrill, but she sent him a pointed glare. “Mountain lion, my ass.”
He looked to be biting the inside of his cheek as he ran his hand over his jaw, studying her. “It’s a mighty fine ass, if you don’t mind me saying.”
“Actually, I do,” she responded primly even though a part of her wanted to twitch her tush at him as she sauntered away to torture him.
He stood there grinning, watching her climb up the porch steps to Will’s cabin. “’Night, Hannah.”
When she turned, her heart clenched. I don’t want this moment to end.
This Ben was like the Ben she’d once known so well.
His apology had shifted something inside her as much as the picture he’d painted.
Maybe hearing him say the words finally had helped her pull up the deep roots of his betrayal so she could heal completely. Of course, she would still drink a tea…
But tonight had been the easiest they’d been together.
She’d sat among his family and felt the pull of happier times, of belonging.
At his house, she’d seen the keepsakes he’d treasured of their time together and soaked in more of the warmth from the son he was raising, a boy as good-hearted as the one she remembered Ben being.
Was she starting to see the Ben he was now?
From her healing work, she knew hurt sometimes locked people into old patterns and parts of themselves. She and Ben weren’t twenty-two anymore, but in some ways, they’d been facing each other down like they still were.
Until now…
The porch cast a soft glow on his handsome face. There was a tender smile touching his chiseled lips, but the new warmth in his eyes had her breath stopping.
He tipped his hat down and saluted her with a finger to the brim, but still, he didn’t move. She finally realized why. “Oh…good night.”
Then she went inside because Ben McAllister had always waited to make sure she was safely inside.
Like old times. Except with the lens of the new.
Suddenly, she could see him clearly too. He’d hurt her, yes, but he’d been hurt too. She had agreed to marry him after college, and when she’d suggested they go another year, he’d been crushed in a way she hadn’t seen or acknowledged. And she was supposed to be his partner.
Compounding it all, he’d made a huge mistake with Amber while in pain. That still stung, but now she knew he’d paid dearly for that drunken moment. Some men wouldn’t have stood up. Ben had done that and more with Cooper. He’d taken over running the ranch, and Neil was right. People respected him.
There was still something good and honorable about Ben McAllister.
She leaned her head back against the door. She and Ben didn’t feel like they were at odds with each other anymore.
She smiled all the way up to her room.