Chapter 10 #4
But just as quickly as her warrior with drawn bow and arrow thoughts reappeared, Juniper was taking off her sweater.
Her full breasts almost spilled over the top of the lacy purple bra underneath, the type of bra that served no function other than to be drooled over and then taken off.
Which was apparently exactly what was happening.
Juniper was sliding the straps off her shoulders before Rowan could tear her eyes away.
“I’m not sleeping in this bra, Birdsong. For fuck’s sake, it has underwire.”
Rowan looked toward the sky and cursed at it. Of course, she had absolutely no desire to do anything about what she was seeing; it was just that the images would be seared onto her brain for the rest of her life.
She leaned around Juniper’s side and unclipped her bra. She wasn’t going to help her take it off. She could figure that out on her own.
“They’re just boobs.” Juniper smirked.
Ignoring that utterly false assessment of the way Rowan felt about Juniper’s tits, she asked, “Where are your hair ties?”
“Why?”
Defying her verbal stubbornness, Juniper pointed at the nightstand drawer beside her bed.
“You’ll thank me in the morning.”
Rowan leaned over Juniper’s lap, and she closed her eyes at the softness of feeling of Juniper resting her forehead against her shoulder. She opened her eyes so she could pull the nightstand drawer open. She swallowed despite the dryness overtaking her mouth.
Rifling through Juniper’s sex toys was not where she expected this night to go.
“You casually keep a strap on in your nightstand?” She couldn’t help herself from asking.
“Where else would I keep it?” Juniper pouted. “Why, you want me to use it on you?”
“Nope,” Rowan responded flatly. In an alternate timeline, where Juniper was completely sober and coming onto her like this, where she had earned Juniper’s trust again, she wondered what it might be like to use it on her.
“Because I’ve only ever had it used on me.” Juniper pouted again, and her breath was so warm against Rowan’s neck. “But I could learn.”
Unlike the slight tinge of jealousy she felt earlier about who Juniper wore lingerie for – after she caught how Wren so blatantly advertised this fact directly to her – this was a tumult of jealousy. No one in the world deserved to touch Juniper. Maybe she should have gotten a punch in at the bar.
Juniper laid back against her bed, and Rowan, from her position unwittingly still kneeling between Juniper’s legs, watched her plump breasts bounce as she hit the mattress. Rowan pressed her fingers into her eyes.
“Nope.” She exhaled. “Need you sitting back up.”
Rowan, herself, needed to get the hell out of there. Way too many mental images. She would never again be able to conjure up a Juniper-free fantasy in her mind to masturbate to. Ever again.
Juniper lazily drifted a hand into the air, expectant for Rowan to help her sit back up.
Rowan grasped her hand and pulled. “Oh, fuck me,” she muttered, as Juniper’s breasts came back into full view, mouth height. There was the wetness that evaporated from her mouth moments prior.
Stand up, you idiot.
She dragged a hand down her face, stood up, and quickly began gathering the long, thick strands of Juniper’s hair into a ponytail on top of her head.
“Put it in a bun,” Juniper demanded.
Rowan raised an eyebrow at her. “You’ll find I’m not exactly skilled in the hair department.”
“I bet you’re skilled in the other departments that matter. Will I find that out?”
Juniper rested her head against Rowan’s abdomen, and she felt that touch reverberate throughout her entire body. Though she wasn’t sure if Juniper’s head-bowing movement indicated she was about to get puked on, her body still registered her pulse thumping between her legs.
She quickly twirled the strands around in some kind of bun formation and wrapped the hair tie around a couple times.
Juniper giggled. “Your belt buckle is in my forehead.”
“Then maybe you should sit up.” Rowan used her hair to angle Juniper’s face up toward hers, inadvertently causing Juniper to run her nose, then her chin along the fly of Rowan’s jeans.
Rowan forced her fingers to unclinch from Juniper’s hair as she peeled Juniper’s face off her body and stepped away.
“T-shirts to sleep in?” She glanced around the room to find the dresser, frustrated to find it wasn’t identical to the way it used to be. The unfamiliarity unsettled her.
“I like to sleep naked.”
Rowan’s head snapped back to find Juniper’s fingers hooked into the sides of her lacy purple underwear as her hips just started to lift off the bed.
“No, no, no, no!” Rowan launched herself at Juniper to stop her. “No.” She wrestled the top sheet and comforter over Juniper’s body. “Just lay back and close your eyes. I’ll find you something to drink. I’ll be right back.”
Rowan walked as quietly and quickly as she could down the hallway, across the living room, and into the kitchen.
She looked through the medicine piled into a basket on the counter to find pain reliever, and then noticed the different bottles labeled for Juniper.
She picked all of those up too. She opened the refrigerator to look for a drink.
Thankfully she found a whole row of Gatorade.
She peeked slowly around Juniper’s door to make sure she wasn’t walking in on anything unexpected, but all she saw was Juniper curled onto her side exactly where she’d left her. She set the drink and medicine down on her nightstand and definitely did not think about the sex toys inside it again.
“Will you stay with me?” Juniper whispered.
Startled to hear she was still awake, Rowan turned to her, and the sadness she found in Juniper’s eyes made her breath catch in her throat. She softly shook her head. “No, Junie. I can’t.”
“Yeah. I get it,” she muttered, her tone full of resignation.
Rowan looked at her for a moment longer before looking back down at the nightstand. “I didn’t know which medicine you take at night, so I brought them all.”
Juniper leaned over and fumbled with two of the bottles.
“Let me help. Please.”
Juniper slowly moved her hand back to her side.
Rowan read the dosage of the antidepressants and anxiety medications, uncapped the bottles, and handed her the pills.
Then she opened the Gatorade for her too.
When Rowan attempted to hold it to her lips, Juniper snatched it from her hand, spilling some of it down the side.
“I can do that myself.”
Rowan sighed but didn’t fight it. When Juniper was done, she took the bottle and used Juniper’s discarded skirt to quickly wipe the spilled drink off her hand before she could protest. Juniper’s sad eyes watched the caring movements until she harshly squinted them closed.
“Will you at least hug me before you go?” Her voice was soft, almost trembling.
Rowan’s heart raced at Juniper’s vulnerability.
“Of course I will hug you.” She knelt back down and circled one arm around Juniper’s shoulders to pull her in close.
She breathed her familiarity in, and it coated her throat and chest, seeping in to fill the cracks of her ribcage.
The now former crack in her heart. Even a chance to love her again platonically would be enough.
“You always knew how to take care of me,” Juniper whispered into her neck.
Rowan wished she could push the covers back, climb in behind her, and hold her until she felt better. Like the way they used to care for each other. She pulled back in anguish. “Good night, Junie.”
“Night.”
Rowan flipped off the light switch.
She gently let the screen door close behind her as she took a moment to ground herself with her eyes closed against it.
Her body thrummed like she’d actually gotten thoroughly fucked.
Then her heart broke a little at Juniper’s desire for comfort and closeness.
And then broke a little more when she realized she had someone else waiting for her in her truck.
She opened the door and slid in.
“Sorry that took so long,” she offered out of politeness alone.
“No worries.” Claire slid a hand around the back of Rowan’s shoulders, and into the hairs on the back of her neck. It all felt so wrong. “Is your friend okay?”
Rowan removed Claire’s hand and reached for her seatbelt in a fluid motion, as if that were a necessary thing to do to fasten it.
“She will be.”
“Your house now?”
Rowan hesitated. “Yes.”