Chapter 13
13
CLAIRE
For one moment, I considered walking out. I could stand up, take Hudson’s hand and drag him away. We could go home—or, better yet, we could get a hotel. My shoulders sagged as I remembered this was the week of Nora’s wedding.
The week of Nora’s wedding wasn’t the week to finally grow a pair and stand up to my family, and I slid the card out, declaring for all my love of potato tacos. There was no way Hudson would’ve known that, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be able to guess the other questions. I wasn’t giving up hope yet.
“Okay, one-zero. We go first for the next question?” I asked, turning my steely gaze back upon my mother.
I usually liked games. Of the family, I was by far the best strategist, and, five minutes ago, I’d felt confident I’d come up with answers to these questions Hudson might be able to guess. Now I just had to hope he’d been paying attention all those hours we’d spent talking. And that he was also a good strategist when it came to games. The doubt crept in, sitting leaden in my stomach. God only knew why I’d felt so confident five minutes ago. This was going to be a shitshow.
“Question two,” Mom began, “what do you like best about your job?”
I swallowed hard. This answer had been a real Hail Mary. My answer referenced a moment in the elevator when Hudson made fun of me, but while I’d replayed the interaction a hundred times, it’d probably been a throwaway moment for him. I looked at Hudson, who was thinking.
Hudson’s wide lips remained twisted in thought, then he snapped his gaze up to mine, his dark eyes bright with excitement. For one second the energy seemed to crackle and swirl between us, and I forgot my whole family looked on, and then Hud said slowly, “Qualitative—no, quantitative improvements. Making quantitative improvements.”
I wanted to bounce in my chair, or to leap across the distance and kiss the hell out of him for figuring out my strategy and remembering—he remembered —but instead I kept my cool and pulled out the card, which read Seeing the quantitative changes.
“Are you cheating?” Nora asked, frowning.
“Nope. She’s just memorably nerdy,” Hudson said, catching my eye and shooting a wink at me, clearly proud of himself. My heart soared in my chest.
Mom, who’d been watching me like a damn hawk all night and knew I hadn’t cheated, said nothing, but turned to Ethan and Nora. “Ethan, what does Nora like best about her job?”
“Free coffee!” Ethan said, nearly before she could get the question out. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Nora was a barista and talked about drinking free coffee all day long. Unsurprisingly, Nora held up the corresponding sign.
“Excellent. The score is two-one. Ethan, you’re first this time,” Mom continued. “Question three: What is her favorite hobby?”
Ethan frowned, rubbed his chin, and said, “Napping?”
I couldn’t hide my giggle as Nora’s eyes went wide and angry and she smacked Ethan on the shoulder. “Napping? Is that even a hobby? Is that seriously all you think I do when I’m not working?” She pulled out the card, wielding it like a weapon. “I read , Ethan. Jesus.” Nora threw the card and Mom shifted the attention to Hudson and me with a grimace.
“Hudson, your turn. What is Claire’s favorite hobby?”
He smiled crookedly, not hesitating. “Collecting statistics.”
“Yes!” I exclaimed, unable to hide my excitement this time, pulling out the card and throwing myself into Hudson’s arms simultaneously. He caught me easily, even as the lightweight lawn chair toppled behind me. Ignoring the chair, I kissed him, a quick press of my lips to his, and I felt his lips curl into a smile.
“Okay, okay,” Mom said, sounding displeased. “It’s two-two.”
Hudson lifted us to standing and I smoothed down my shirt, righting my chair and sitting once more. He sat back down next to me, smiling widely.
Mom continued, “The next question is for Hudson. “What’s the biggest way your lady wastes money?”
I watched Hudson’s face as he thought. I didn’t think there was any way he would know this, but I liked the way his eyes squinted just the tiniest bit when he was thinking. “She doesn’t,” he replied, and I smiled. It was a good guess based on what he knew about me, but not correct, and everyone could see it on my face.
“Probably clothes and shoes,” Grant said with a chuckle.
“I’m sorry you have to find out this way,” I said, never taking my eyes off Hudson, “but I have an addiction to…” I held up the card, which said “shoes,” while I wiggled one foot in his direction.
“Well, perhaps this game will prove enlightening,” Hudson joked.
“Ethan, how about you?” Mom said. “How does Nora waste money?”
“According to her or me?” he said with a laugh. Nora’s eyes narrowed, and Claire wondered if this game was liable to start a fight between the two. “Journaling supplies,” Ethan said, pairing the words with a dramatic eye roll for effect.
Nora sighed, holding up her card. “Books.”
“Okay, the score is still tied. Next question to you, Ethan. What is Nora’s greatest fear?”
Ethan didn’t hesitate on this. “Spiders.”
“Yes!” Nora said, shuddering and tossing the matching card in the air. “They’re gross.”
Mom looked at Hudson. “What’s Claire’s biggest fear?” she asked.
“Being trapped in an elevator,” Hudson said.
Grant held up a single finger as if he’d unlocked some old memory. “Heights,” he said triumphantly, and Grant was right, but it didn’t matter. I’d never told Hudson my greatest fear, but he’d witnessed me dealing with my second greatest.
“Being trapped in a small space,” I said with a grin, holding up my card to show the answer. Grant was frowning. “It jumped to number one when it really happened,” I lied smoothly.
“Final two questions, and the score is tied,” Mom said. “Ethan, you’ll answer first. How many kids does she want?”
The question was cheap, since everyone on all of Earth knew Nora didn’t want kids, but I bit my tongue. “Zero,” Ethan said. Mom frowned deeply as the answer was verified and Ethan and Nora hugged.
“Hudson,” Mom said, moving on quickly, “how many children does Claire want?”
We’d talked about both wanting kids, so he wasn’t about to embarrass us by saying none, but we’d never gotten into specifics. “Three?” he said tentatively, his hesitation noticeable.
Damn. “Two,” I said, holding up my second to last card.
Hudson smiled that tender, genuine smile I rarely got to see. “Me too,” he said quietly.
“Last question,” Mom announced, interrupting my moment. “Hudson, what does Claire think is the most important thing for a relationship to have?”
Our eyes were locked, and though we’d probably lose the game, I didn’t care anymore. As terrible an idea as it was to make this fake date real, I wanted Hudson. “Honesty,” Hudson said, his eyes never wavering from mine.
I grinned, saying nothing, but holding up my matching card, and he leaned in to give me a kiss.
Mom cleared her throat. “Ethan, how about you? What does Nora say is the most important thing for a relationship to have?”
He pursed his lips, then said, “Passion.”
Nora held up her card. “It’s the same thing,” she said. Her card read, “ LOVE.”
“It’s not the same thing,” Tessa said, shaking her head, her desire for accuracy apparently overpowering her desire to win the bet.
Hudson leaned forward until our heads touched. “We tied,” he said, his voice too low to be overheard now that the love versus passion argument had commenced within the family.
“No. We lost,” I replied. Even as close as we were, I could see his eyebrow tick up skeptically.
“We tied. Love and passion are not the same thing.”
I chuckled. “Of course they’re not, but Nora will argue until everyone gives in. Welcome to Davis family game night.”
He laughed dryly, then whispered, “I hate Davis family game night.”
A family barbecue had never felt so long before, and I cursed myself for not getting a hotel room. When I made these plans, Hudson North was nothing more than the pompous ass who left his packages in the vestibule too long. Was he hot? Of course, but he was totally off limits.
I bit down on my lip. How had so much changed so quickly? My eyes shifted to glance at the pompous ass in question. He was laughing at a joke Tess had made—I hadn’t been paying good enough attention to catch the joke. His eyes fell on me and his laugh faded into a smile that spread heat through my belly despite the late summer’s evening chill. It was a fun parlor trick, being able to turn me on the way he did, but it wasn’t what kept drawing me to him. It turned out Hudson North, the pompous ass who couldn’t even be bothered to get his mail in a timely fashion, was thoughtful and charming and possessed a dry humor I found myself liking more than I should.
“You want to take a walk?” I asked quietly, telling myself I needed a break from the family, when really all I wanted was a moment alone with Hud.
He stood. “Sure. Let’s.” He intertwined our fingers and I led us around the house to the sidewalk.
For a while we walked in silence, holding hands, moving at a snail’s pace through the neighborhood I’d grown up in, not rushing to get back. “You were amazing in that game,” he said finally.
“Me?” I asked, looking up at him. “You got the questions right, I just tried to pick easy answers.”
“We’re they true?”
I shrugged. “True enough. I like making a change at work. You already knew I love statistics, but that’s more a collection than a hobby. I probably would’ve said reading if I thought you’d get it. I like shoes, want two kids, and value honesty.”
“And your biggest fear?”
My lips twisted wryly. “Is actually heights,” I admitted.
“Score one for Grant.”
“Small spaces are a close second,” I added quickly.
“Are you just bullshitting me?” he asked, pulling us to a stop and smiling down at me.
“Did you hear the part about honesty, Hudson North?”
He ran two fingers down my jaw, so lightly it tickled. “Can I kiss you?” he asked.
I laughed. “You’ve kissed me a dozen times already, and you didn’t ask before any of those.”
“Do you want to go on a date with me, Claire? A date of the real variety, I mean? I can order vegan potato tacos and we can eat them in your apartment.”
“I make better potato tacos than you’ll find at any restaurant,” I said.
“Oh,” he replied, looking disappointed, and I grimaced, not meaning to ruin his romantic gesture.
“But yes to the kiss, and yes to the date. I can cook,” I offered quickly. His expression brightened, and he threaded his fingers into my hair, titling my chin up and slanting his lips over mine.
Hudson was a uniquely slow kisser, and he seemed to savor me like an unusual flavor he wanted more of. I imagined he’d be an equally tender lover, and the thought made me clench my thighs and tug him closer. We were standing in front of a house only six or seven down from home, so I couldn’t very well demand he continue with a slow exploration down my neck, but I wanted to. I wanted Hudson.
He showed far more restraint than I might’ve, breaking the kiss with a groan, then adjusting his pants before reaching for my hand again and lacing our fingers back together. I shifted to point us away from home, not ready to go back yet. This was nice, and maybe later tonight could be amazing.
We made our way around the block and back to the house slowly, enjoying finally being able to be alone together, but as Mom and Dad’s house came into view again, I saw a new car. I squinted, trying to see better at a distance. “Who’s in the driveway?” I asked, even though Hudson would have no way of knowing. My steps quickened, eyes still squinted, until the car became clear. “Emily’s here!” I exclaimed. “I thought she couldn’t come up until Wednesday.” I grinned up at Hudson, giving him a tug forward, eager for him to meet Em. “Come on and meet the sister who knows me best.” I raised my brow at Hud seriously. “She’s also the one most likely to sniff out anything fake.”
Hudson frowned, but said nothing. We curved around the back of the house, but I still didn’t see Emily. “Where’s Em?” I asked, when we were close enough for Mom and Tess to hear. “I saw her car.”
Mom waved behind me absently, and I couldn’t help but glance over my shoulder, as if she may be lurking back there. “She just went inside to put down her stuff. She’ll be out in a minute.”
The back door slid open and all eyes went up to Emily, who cocked an eyebrow. “Why is everyone looking at me?” she asked.
“Claire was looking for you,” Tess replied.
“Hey, Claire Bear,” she said with a grin. “I take it this is Hudson?”
My heart rate ticked up, but I met my sister at the bottom of the stairs, wrapping her in a hug. I hadn’t been totally honest with Emily about Hudson, but I was sure Em was the one person in the family who would support me regardless. She was also the only person in the family I knew for a fact disliked Grant the same way I did.
“This is Hudson,” I said unnecessarily, gesturing behind me to where Hudson stood, waiting.
“Nice to—” For a single moment Emily froze, her hand wavering in the air, but she quickly regained her poise, her arm straightening as she finished her sentence. “—meet you.”
I couldn’t remember any previous occasion when my older sister had short circuited, so I couldn’t guess as to what she was thinking. Did she know Hudson? I glanced back at him, noticing his eyebrow twitch as if he were trying to figure out what was wrong, but his friendly smile never wavered as he reached for her hand. “Nice to meet you. Claire speaks highly of you.” Emily nodded, but said nothing more, sitting down in front of the firepit and pulling out her phone. Hudson gave a disgruntled little nod before he sat, and although I was usually fiercely protective of my sister, I couldn’t blame him. Hudson didn’t appear to know Emily, and yet she, along with half of the family, had treated him like crap. It was embarrassing. I gave him an apologetic grimace, but he only shrugged a single shoulder and grinned good-naturedly.
A half hour later, as the wind shifted the smoke in my direction for the hundredth time, I was done. I stood, stretching my arms above my head. “I’m going up to bed,” I said. “You coming?” My eyes landed on Hudson, who hopped to his feet.
“Of course. It’s been a busy day. I’m beat,” he said, and although it had been a long and busy day, and although he had every right to be tired, his words came a little too quick and eager, and I had to smother a smile.
My heart raced as he closed the distance and I entwined our fingers to walk up to the room. I didn’t think we could conceivably have sex in my childhood bedroom feet away from the whole family, but damn if I wasn’t going to at least get my lips on the man some more.
“Are there events for tomorrow?” he asked as we climbed the stairs.
“Not that I know of. Thursday is a final fitting and dinner at the Duprees, Friday is the rehearsal dinner, Saturday is the wedding, and Sunday is the brunch before people go home,” I replied.
“Dinner at the Duprees. Can’t wait,” he said dryly, closing the door behind him as we entered the bedroom.
I chuckled, still walking, but he pulled me back toward him, catching me easily with both arms so that I was looking up into his dark eyes. “Are you sorry you came?” I asked quietly.
Hud shook his head slightly. “Sorry? No. This is a crazy way to get to know you, but I like you, Claire.”
I was embarrassed to admit how much I liked those words coming from his mouth, like I was fourteen and having my first date—and he was right, this was an insane first date—but when he cupped my face in one large palm and kissed me, the self-consciousness evaporated. I raked my hands through his hair, arching my body into his, and Hudson pulled me closer, deepening the kiss, his mouth hot on mine.
A knock came, loud and hard on the other side of the door, and Hudson, who’d been leaning against it, jumped, his head thunking solidly into mine in the process.
“Oof,” I grunted, my hands covering my face as I stumbled backward.
“Jesus. I’m sorry. Are you alright?” Hudson whispered, and I opened my eyes to see him edging closer, looking concerned as he reached for me.
The spot hurt like hell, and I instinctively took a step back, putting up one hand while I rubbed my forehead with the other. “I’m fine,” I muttered, and the knocking came again, this time harder.
“Claire?”
I sighed irritably, reaching for the doorknob. I hadn’t needed to hear the voice to know who was there. A lifetime of hearing that knock left me with no doubt who would be on the other side.
“I realized I forgot to give you towels,” Mom said cheerily. Glowering, I accepted the stack, not bothering to ask why they needed to be hand delivered instead of stacked up in the bathroom as they had been my entire life. “Your forehead is red,” Mom said, reaching for it.
I pulled away. “I’m fine, Mom. I bumped it. Thanks for the towels. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Love you,” she said, not moving away from the door.
Shifting the towels to one arm, I leaned in with the other, capturing my mother in a familiar embrace. “Love you, too. Good night.”
I shut the door behind me, looking back at Hudson where he now leaned against the dresser. “Clean towels,” I said, holding them up as I walked toward him.
His lips tilted up, but he looked positively stricken. “I’m so sorry. She surprised me,” he said as he ran a gentle thumb over my forehead.
I shook my head, setting a hand on his chest. “It stung a little, but you didn’t really hurt me.”
“I know, but I’m still sorry.” He pressed a featherlight kiss to my forehead, then along my brow to my cheekbone, working his way back to my mouth slowly, stopping only as another knock pounded at the door. This one was not as loud, but was far more persistent.
“For God’s sake,” I moaned, recognizing Emily’s pounding just as easily as I’d recognized Mom’s. I stood up straight and walked to the door once more.
“I have to talk to you,” Emily said without preamble when the door swung open.
Hud inhaled deeply behind me. “I’m gonna go jump in the shower,” he said, grabbing one of the towels and his bag and walking out of the room.
Emily watched him go, then swung the door closed and leaned back on it as if she might have to be a human barricade. “Did you pay him to come here?” she hissed.
My eyes went wide. “Pay him? No. Gross, Emily. You think I went from quarantine to hiring prostitutes?”
“A gigolo.”
“Do people still say ‘ gigolo ?’” I asked, my voice a harsh whisper.
“Does that feel like the point right now?” Emily shot back.
“Why are you asking me this?” I asked, wide-eyed and exasperated.
“I’ve seen your date’s videos,” Emily said, giving me an I-know-the-truth look that set my heart racing. Did I not know the truth? What videos was Em talking about? Was Hudson some sort of pornstar?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied, trying to sound calm but clearly failing.
Emily scrutinized my face the same irritating way she had since we were children. Em could alway read me like a book, no matter how hard I tried to obfuscate my feelings. “Oh my God,” she breathed out. “You’ve never seen them.”
I thought I might vomit as Emily pulled out her phone and tapped her way to whatever she was looking for. As Emily held the device, I braced myself to see Hudson in a very compromising position.
But I didn’t. I saw a video of Hudson shirtless, then throwing his shoe and becoming magically dressed in his paramedic outfit. “Go ahead, scroll down,” Emily encouraged her.
The next few were edits of Hudson going from half-dressed to all the way dressed, not too different from the first, but in one he was wearing low-slung gray sweatpants that drew my eye down to the curve of his package. Another began with him in a towel, water dripping down the contours of his chest. Then there were a couple pictures of the forest, then Hudson chopping wood at a cabin, which I shamelessly let run twice. I scrolled a little more. One where he took off his mask and smiled, another in the dark with a light behind his head that lit up his muscled torso to perfection. Then there were some more pictures out in the woods, and then Hudson with me. I looked up at Emily, shaking my head in confusion. “What does this mean?”
“I don’t know,” Em said, spreading her arms wide in an I’m-out-of-my-depth shrug. “You didn’t hire this guy?”
“No,” I snapped, my eyes drifting to the now darkened phone.
The memories of sitting on my bed, reading and rereading the email that told me Dan was cheating were still so vivid. That night, I’d stared at the screen until it went black, just as Emily’s was now. It was different, and yet it felt exactly the same.
But at least that night there hadn’t been a witness to my humiliation.
Emily’s expression was uncomfortable and pitying, and though I shared so much with my sister, right now all I wanted was to be alone. “I guess you talk to him about it,” Emily suggested, but the suggestion came out like a question, and I clenched my jaw, my lips pursed tightly.
“Great. Very helpful,” I muttered, pushing the phone into Emily’s chest and leveraging her toward the door. “Night, Em.”
“I’m sorry, Claire Bear.”
The words made my throat constrict. I didn’t want to hear sorry from Emily or Hudson or anyone else. I wanted to be home—to be alone. “I know you are,” I muttered, eager to get Emily out the door.
It was probably less than five minutes that I sat in the center of the bed, waiting for Hudson to come back from the shower, but it was long enough to relive every terrible, humiliating memory of Dan. I didn’t cry. I simply sat and stared at my hands and remembered every feeling from the day I’d found out about Dan as if they were fresh wounds.
Hudson shot me a smile as he came into the room, but the grin withered on his face as he saw my deeply etched frown. “Is everything okay with your sister?” he asked, shutting the door and sitting on the edge of the bed, twisting one knee up in order to face me.
“She’s fine,” I answered coolly.
“Oh,” he replied, clearly unsure how to proceed.
I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt, building up the guts to ask him—“Are you a stripper?”