Chapter 24
24
CLAIRE
It couldn’t be just one time.
That had been my first thought when he stood and walked to the corner, stripping off the condom and dropping it in the garbage can. Then he returned, holding his hand out to help me up.
I accepted the help, a quick tug to my arms that pulled me up and sent me tumbling into his arms. He caught me easily, landing a kiss on my lips.
“You want to sneak out to the bathroom first?” he offered.
Had we been loud? This new thought burst into my head, but I wasn’t sure I cared anymore. Left to choose again, I would choose sex with Hudson over most anything, even if it meant every single member of my family knowing about it.
I shuddered, picturing Mom and Dad overhearing us, and I still hoped we’d been quiet. “Sure,” I replied. “Thanks. I’ll be right back.” I began to walk away, but my body snapped back toward his when he reached for my arm, catching me to land one more kiss on my lips.
Hudson was sweet and attentive. Hell, Hudson was… romantic. He didn’t seem at all like I’d expected a player to be. But then again, neither had Dan. Dan seemed sweet and loving. He seemed romantic. Honestly, he had been all those things…just with too many women at the same time.
I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, trying to smooth my hair, which had become hopelessly tangled. Don’t get your hopes up , I reminded myself. Men my age were often garbage humans, only looking to get laid. It was best to remember that.
But I didn’t want to think that of Hudson. Sighing deeply, I opened the bathroom door and crept back into our room, closing the door softly behind me. Hudson was in bed, looking sleepy, the used blankets folded up neatly on a side chair. “Thanks for picking those up,” I said.
“You’re welcome,” he replied, lifting the covers invitingly.
I climbed into my side and Hudson propped himself up in one elbow. “Everything okay?” he asked, his brow knitting.
There was no way I could explain that I had already begun preparing myself for the moment he let me down—no way to explain how devastating it would be if I put my faith in another man who broke my heart. “I’m good,” I lied. Hudson looked skeptical, but he didn’t press.
“Can I hold you, or is that too much for this kind of relationship?”
“A fake relationship? I asked.
“A temporary relationship,” he corrected, his meaning not lost on me. If only it were so easy, but I knew better than to place my trust in any man, even Hudson North. Especially Hudson North.
Still, I wanted to be held, wanted to know—just this one time—how it would feel to fall asleep in Hudson’s embrace, and I scooted closer. Hud draped a large arm over my middle, hauling me closer until I could feel every inch of his body pressed to mine. He kissed my neck delicately. “Night, Claire.”
“Night, Hud.”
“Have I told you how relieved I am there’s no bachelor and bachelorette parties this week?”
“Why?” I asked, tracing along his shoulder with a single finger, liking the hard slope of muscle. I had expected us to roll apart in the middle of the night, because sleeping in a constant embrace was constricting and annoying, but we hadn’t. I’d slept like a baby, tucked neatly into Hudson’s body. I’d expected we’d wake up and pretend the cuddling hadn’t happened, but Hudson gave no indication he wanted to forget. On the contrary, I’d woken up when he kissed my bare shoulder and hummed contentedly in my ear. “Morning,” he’d said, his voice thick and gravelly and positively delicious. I’d rolled over and we’d begun talking—about home, work, the wedding—regular stuff, and the impulse to remain in bed with Hudson and never face the light of day again was overwhelming.
“I don’t know,” he said. “It seems like there’s always some level of debauchery at bachelor parties. The last one I went to, the groom—well, he did something the bride wouldn’t have approved of.”
I frowned, my imagination going wild with scenarios I hoped hadn’t really occurred. “That’s horrible. It’s gross when men get strippers and shit.”
“It’s not my first choice, I agree” he replied with a shrug, and silence fell over us.
In the quiet, I let my eyes scan over him, subtly trying to judge how honest he was. I felt like I’d learned so much about Hudson in the past week, and yet, in so many ways, he was still a total stranger. When he said he didn’t like strippers, was that honest? I didn’t know.
Hudson brushed a loose tendril of hair back from my face. “Are there events this afternoon or are we free?”
“We’re free, as far as I know.”
“I know an amazing Italian restaurant. Want to get lunch?”
I picked up my phone, then held it up to Hudson. “It’s 9:04 AM .”
One corner of his mouth curled up. “You have a big family. I assume it will take us a while to get out the door, and…” He trailed off, and I lifted one eyebrow.
“And?”
Hudson rolled over, pinning me beneath him and kissing my neck. I giggled as his fresh stubble tickled my chin. “And I may not be ready to go downstairs just yet.”
The bed creaked under us and Hudson grimaced, eying the door suspiciously before giving me his attention again. “You lock the door and I’ll lay out the blankets?”
Cranberry Falls had a lovely little downtown area, and although I’d been born and raised in Bridgeport and had always assumed I’d settle down there and start a family, I could admit that little Cranberry Falls was even more charming than the sleepy town I used to call home.
A river—the Winona—ran through the center of Cranberry Falls, and a small, natural waterfall gave the town its name. Most of the shops and restaurants were on State Street, the road that ran perpendicular to the Winona River.
“I’ve never been here,” I said, looking around me at the stately brick buildings that faced State Street. Trees lined the road, spread every dozen feet or so, and I could see they were festooned with twinkle lights. I was curious to see how they would look at night. I imagined they’d be quite pretty.
“It’s a quaint little town,” Hudson said, his voice sounding thicker than I expected. I looked back at him, surprised to find his brow knitted unhappily.
“Is everything okay, Hud?” I asked, drawing him to a stop.
He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. “This seemed like a good idea earlier, but I don’t know if I’m ready.”
I remembered Hudson mentioning he didn’t like visiting Cranberry Falls since his brother’s death, but I didn’t know more than that. “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked quietly.
“I don’t know if I can,” he said gruffly.
I looked around us, wishing some solution would present itself, but nothing was forthcoming. “Do you have good memories?” I asked.
“Of Lawrence or of firefighting?”
Lawrence , I repeated in my head, realizing I’d never heard his name before. “Of your brother.” I looked around us. “Out here, in town, do you have any great memories?”
Hudson looked around, his gaze following mine, a sad smile curling his lips. “See that church?” he asked, pointing.
“Sure.”
“When Lawrence was eleven he broke into it to ring the bell.”
“Can you do that?” I asked seriously, but the question only made Hudson laugh.
“If you mean can you as in is it possible , then yes, because he did, but if you’re wondering if he got in trouble, the answer would be he sure as shit did.”
I smiled. “But why? Why did he want to ring the bell?”
Hudson shrugged. “Doesn’t everyone want to pull the bell?”
“I never would’ve thought of such a thing,” I replied, “but it would be cool, I suppose.”
“It was cool,” he said, looking fondly at the church once more. The intensity of his sadness had lessened, but he wasn’t his usual self, and I wished I had a way to soothe him. I stepped closer, and he wound an arm around my waist, pulling me tight against him and kissing the top of my head. “Right there,” he continued, walking until the two of us stood at the start of the bridge that crossed the Winona, “is where we used to sneak down to get close to the falls.”
My brow furrowed, looking at the rushing falls that dropped at least ten feet. “Did you cross the falls? That’s dangerous.” My scolding tone earned me a grin.
“Once, in middle school, but I had to do it at night, and when my mom got wind she lost her mind.”
“Did Lawrence cross, too?”
“He went first. Lawrence always went first.” The sadness still tinged his dark eyes, but his smile held a sort of rueful pride.
“If I were your mother, I would’ve murdered you,” I replied seriously.
He chuckled. “We did way worse than that. When we were kids, she always complained we scared the hell out of her, and then we joined the fire department and she was never worried.” He looked off downriver, and I saw his eyes turn dark once more. “Probably thought we’d be safe together.”
I didn’t know the whole story, but I didn’t need to. It was very clear Hudson blamed himself for Lawrence’s death, and also that it wasn’t his fault. Whatever had happened, I was sure beyond a shadow of a doubt Hudson would’ve moved heaven and earth to bring his brother home safely. “I bet she was actually terrified.”
“What?” he asked, jarred out of his memories.
I tilted my head back to look more clearly into his eyes. “I bet your mom was scared shitless.”
“She never said anything,” Hudson replied doubtfully.
“Of course she didn’t. She may have told you when you were scaring her as kids, but that was to guilt you into not doing it anymore. When you both chose such a dangerous career, she was supportive. You didn’t need to have her worries in the back of your head while you were working.”
“Maybe it would’ve helped,” he said gruffly. I didn’t know enough of his history to comment, but I touched his cheek, feeling the muscles of his jaw ticking under my fingers.
Hudson closed his eyes, relaxing under my touch, then opened them once more. The anger was gone from his eyes, but the sadness persisted. “This is a terrible date.”
“It’s not,” I protested. “Cranberry Falls is lovely. I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.” My thumb tracked over his lips indulgently. He was, after all, mine for a few more days. “And I like talking to you.”
Hudson’s smile was soft and tender as he leaned in to capture a kiss. “C’mon. There are some vintage stores up here you may like.”
“I love vintage stores. Did I tell you that?” I asked, and he laughed. The sound wrapped around me like a hug, and I was pleased to be the one who made him happy.
“No, but every woman loves vintage stores,” he replied, and I frowned, the warmth of the moment disappearing as I remembered Claire and Hudson was temporary. When we got back to the city, he’d probably be on to a new woman before I had a chance to finish the pint of peanut butter and chocolate ice cream I’d be crying into.