Chapter 32
32
CLAIRE
I needed air. Ignoring Emily and Hudson behind me, who were still talking to Grant, I was pretty sure, I moved toward the stairs, hiking up my skirt to rush down. Distantly, I heard Hudson call my name, but I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t care that Grant was fucking some woman in my parents’ hotel room, and yet the idea of it made me sick. Hadn’t he spent the last week making my life miserable with matchmaking schemes? How did men move on so quickly? And how was I supposed to trust a man with my feelings when every man eventually proved to only care about sex? I needed a minute to think. At the bottom floor of the B&B, I turned not toward the wedding, but toward the front of the building, letting myself out the front door and breathing in long gulps of the crisp night air as if I’d been suffocating inside.
But I wasn’t alone.
“Claire,” he murmured from behind me, and though he said it on a sigh, it didn’t make my muscles relax like when Hudson said it. In fact, it made me tense up. “I wanted to talk to you. I’m glad you’re here.”
“I don’t want to talk,” I replied flatly.
Dan reached out to grasp my hand, but I tucked my arms tightly across myself and stood, looking at him stubbornly. “That’s okay. I understand why you’re mad.”
My jaw dropped as an indignant little sigh escaped me. “You understand why I’m mad? You cheated on me. This isn’t rocket science, Dan.”
“I was stupid. We were young. I didn’t realize what we had.”
I was shaking my head. None of this mattered. “I don’t care. You shouldn’t be here. It’s not fair.”
“I came here for you,” he replied gently.
“For me?” I asked incredulously. “How is this for me?”
“I had to see you.” He reached for my hand again and I tightened my hold on myself, wondering vaguely if my own arms could crush me like anacondas.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” I repeated.
“Okay,” he said. “You don’t need to talk. Just listen.” I should’ve walked away, and yet I was rooted to the spot. “I fucked up. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I fucked it all up. I know that now, but I’m ready to be better. I can be the man you need.”
I hadn’t planned to respond to him, but the words came tumbling out in a furious rush. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You cheated on me. You were dating someone else when we met and you’re here with another woman tonight. I can’t trust you, and I don’t want to be with you.”
“Claire,” he protested, and this time he stepped close enough to grasp my elbow gently.
“What the fuck,” Nora snapped, and my head snapped around, finding Nora and Emily along with Hudson and Ethan walking out the front of the B&B. “I knew I should’ve kicked you out, you asshole,” Nora continued, stomping up until she was close enough I thought she might spit in Dan’s face. “Get the fuck out of my wedding.”
“Nora,” Ethan said, reaching for his bride, but at the same moment Dan replied, “I’m just trying to talk to Claire.”
Apparently, Nora didn’t like his answer, because she swung back and punched him square in the jaw. Dan reeled and Ethan and Hudson jumped in to pull Nora back, though I’m not sure if they were more afraid of her attacking or Dan hitting back.
Dan rubbed his jaw. “Fuck you, Nora,” he snapped, and Ethan stiffened.
“You need to leave,” Ethan said, his voice more serious than I’d ever heard it before.
Dan said nothing more, he just turned and walked away. The B&B was in the center of Bridgeport, an easy walk to nearly anywhere, but I thought his date would wonder where he’d gone. I felt badly for her.
“Claire.” This time it was Hudson saying my name, and the single word felt heavy enough to crack my chest open. I wanted to lean into his chest and let him soothe away the lingering pain. I wanted Hudson to be real, not just some fake date, but life had taught me how real men behaved. Real men cheated and lied and fucked random women during their brother’s wedding. It was only a matter of time before I’d see the real Hudson North, and I’d been wrong when I thought my heart could take it.
“Hey,” he murmured, pulling me close even though my arms remained wrapped around my middle. “You okay?” he whispered into my ear, tilting his face down so his lips brushed my temple. In my periphery I saw my family walk back inside, and we were alone.
“I saw you flirting tonight,” I said into his chest. “If you weren’t stuck being my fake date, would that have been you up in that hotel room?”
Hudson went still, his embrace turning stiff. “That’s bullshit, Claire.” he said, shifting to see my face. “I wasn’t flirting, and this isn’t fake to me.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” I said flatly.
“Are you kidding me? Your question doesn’t even make sense.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I grumbled. “You were my fake date for the week and the week is over. We’re done.”
“Are you serious right now?”
I stiffened, anger rising in my chest, but I wasn’t sure if I was angry with him or with myself. “I know what I saw, Hudson. You can’t help but flirt, and eventually…I don’t know. I don’t want to find out.”
Hudson’s arms dropped. He was furious, that much was clear in his expression, but if you looked closer, the hurt was evident in his eyes. I tried not to look too close. "If you’d been paying attention, you'd already know I don't want anyone but you,” he growled, and then, unexpectedly, he walked into the parking lot, following Dan’s path away from the B&B and away from me.
“Where are you going?” I called after him, feeling the tears already tightening my throat.
He turned, walking backward. “Home, Claire. You don’t feel about me like I feel about you, and I can’t take anymore pretending.”