Chapter 22 #2
She seemed smaller, somehow. Closed in on herself, as though she was barely holding it together. Everything in him itched to soothe the creases away from her forehead and place a kiss there instead.
‘If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?’ he asked her. ‘When I spoke to you last, you were only having vague doubts. You seem very sure now.’
She stared at her feet. She had delicate feet, with sparkly pink toenails. ‘I found out that Marcus was sleeping with Nirmala. You know, his “old friend from college”.’ She made air quotes and her tone was bitter. ‘I can’t believe I didn’t see that coming.’
He didn’t know how she’d found out, but at least it wasn’t because he’d told her. He could – in good conscience – tell his boss that it was nothing to do with him.
‘At least you found out,’ he said.
‘Yeah. Imagine if I’d married him.’ She shook her head. ‘What an utter shit.’
‘While he was supposed to be arranging his wedding as well,’ said Sampath. It was genuinely offensive.
‘He was with her while I was out choosing my wedding sari,’ said Kalpana.
Sampath had a sudden mental image of her looking at him, eyes shining with delight, gold chains in her hair. If Marcus hadn’t bailed on them on that day, Sampath wouldn’t have been the one to see that. It wouldn’t have burrowed into his heart. He wouldn’t have fallen in love.
He looked away, trying to focus on the dark greens and splashes of red, yellow and white in the garden. He was being silly. He couldn’t be in love with her after a mere couple of weeks.
She was quiet for a while. ‘He was really horrible,’ she said, her voice almost a whisper. ‘Do you know, he … he called me a coconut.’ Her voice wobbled.
‘What?’ He was horrified. Not just because of the audacity of the man, but if he knew anything about Kalpana, he would know that she was insecure about how she wore her Sri Lankan heritage.
A comment like that had no positive side, but in this case, Marcus had used it as a harpoon aimed to hurt.
‘Oh, Kalpana, that’s a terrible thing for him to say. It’s wrong on so many levels.’
When she looked up, she had tears in her eyes.
His hand involuntarily moved towards her.
‘No, no,’ he said. ‘Don’t let him get to you.
You should never worry about whether you’re being Sri Lankan enough.
We have enough trouble making sure we’re British enough for some people, there’s no need to add a whole other level of that too.
You are enough. Just as you are. Don’t let that git take that away from you. ’
Tears loosened from her eyes. She swallowed hard. Sampath reached into his bag and handed her a packet of tissues. A good wedding planner always had tissues to hand.
She murmured her thanks and dabbed at her eyes. He wished he could hold her. But if he did that, he wouldn’t let her go. Right now, that was probably the worst thing he could do to her. He had to remember that she was hurting and fragile. She needed a friend.
Kalpana sniffed. ‘Do you know,’ she said. ‘I found out something worse.’
‘Worse than him cheating on you and calling you … that?’ What on earth could be worse?
She nodded. ‘I realised that he’s never read any of my books.’ She looked sideways at him. ‘But you already knew that, didn’t you? That’s why you said that thing about The Sweetest Thing being about an artist. You knew he wouldn’t correct you.’
Sampath nodded. ‘Ah. That. I suspected and I wanted to test it out.’ He supposed to her, that was worse than any of the other things.
‘How did you work it out?’ she asked.
‘Partly from the things he said to you. He was always subtly putting you down. He wouldn’t do that if he’d read any of your books.’
She shook her head. ‘I can’t believe I didn’t see that. I feel so stupid.’
She looked so sad that his resolve melted. He reached across and touched the back of her hand. ‘You’re not stupid,’ he said.
She turned to look at him.
‘You’re kind and trusting,’ he carried on. ‘He told you he loved you and you believed him. That doesn’t make you stupid.’ He had to make her understand that. ‘That just makes you human.’
Her gaze rose and it met his. The world stood still. His breath hitched in his throat. He could kiss her. She was close. But she was sad and vulnerable and—
She closed the gap between them and kissed him. Sampath’s world narrowed down to this one moment. The feeling of her lips pressed against his. The thunder of his pulse. All other thoughts disappeared. She kissed him and he kissed her back.
They were still sitting apart on the bench.
As the kiss deepened, he turned towards her.
She moved and put her hand on his knee. The pressure of her hand on his knee brought reality back.
What was he doing?! This wasn’t right. He broke the kiss and leaned back.
‘We can’t. I mean … No. This can’t happen. ’
‘Wh—’ She recoiled too. The frown was back, deeper now.
‘This,’ he said, gesturing between them. ‘I can’t. You’ve literally only just broken up with your fiancé. You were supposed to be getting married.’
‘Not anymore,’ she said. Her eyes were wide.
‘Yes, but you’re still my client.’
She stood up. ‘Right. I’m so sorry. I—’
‘No, Kalpana. You have to understand. I can’t be the wedding planner who broke up the wedding I was organising. I just can’t. That’s why I hesitated so long wondering whether to tell you about Marcus and Nirmala and—’
‘You knew?’ She turned back and glared at him. Her hands had curled into fists. ‘You knew about it, and you didn’t tell me? I thought you were …’ She shook her head. ‘I thought you were on my side.’
‘I was. I am. I just can’t be anything more than that to you. Not while you’re my client.’
‘I see.’ She sniffed and stormed off. When he stood up, she said over her shoulder, ‘Don’t follow me. Leave me alone.’
***
Kalpana was furious. Not with Sampath, nor even with Marcus so much as she was angry with herself.
Why on earth had she kissed Sampath? Of course he’d been kind to her.
Of course he was looking out for her safety and comfort.
That was his job! How needy was she to have mistaken that for something more?
It wasn’t like he’d been anything but professional too.
The few times she’d thought there was a spark were probably just her overheated imagination running wild.
She fancied him and had imagined he was interested in her too.
For a moment there, she’d even imagined that he’d kissed her back.
She stifled a groan of embarrassment. If the ground would open and swallow her right now, she’d be grateful.
***
The drive to the airport was unbelievably awkward.
Despite the early hour, Sampath had insisted on coming with her in the taxi he’d hired for her.
He was sitting in the front, chatting to the driver.
She was torn between wanting to die cringing and being comforted by his presence.
He was being so polite to her. She didn’t know what to say to him.
She wanted to apologise, but she was far too embarrassed.
So she’d settled for not making eye contact and saying the absolute minimum.
She checked her passport and tickets again, settled back and closed her eyes. Pretending to be asleep seemed like the safest option right now.
***
When they got to the airport, Sampath pulled Kalpana’s suitcase as far as he was allowed. He had to do something to ease the atmosphere between them, but he wasn’t sure what he could say to make it better. Once they got to the queue for the check-in desks, he said, ‘I can’t go any further.’
‘No. Absolutely. Thank you for all your help so far.’ She was talking too fast and not making eye contact.
‘Kalpana,’ he said. ‘Please. Look at me.’
She dragged her eyes up to meet his. They were red-rimmed.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I … Like I said, you’re my client. The bride.’
‘I’m sorry, too,’ she said. ‘And embarrassed.’
‘Don’t be. In a different time, under different circumstances …’ He raised his hands away from his sides. ‘Can … Can I call you sometime, once we’re back and all this is settled?’
‘I’d rather you didn’t,’ she said, her voice tight. ‘Marcus handled the contract side of things.’