Chapter Nine
Chapter Eight
ETHAN
I woke abruptly with sweat on my brow and my heart racing after desperately fighting to escape the nightmare in my head. My chest felt as if it was being squeezed, and I had to focus on slow, deep breaths to relax and return to normal. I’d been trying to run, but my feet were weighted down, and I couldn’t get anywhere. It was better than the dream I occasionally had where I was running through deep water against the current and getting nowhere. I always woke feeling completely exhausted, like I’d just run a marathon and had been totally robbed of a full night’s sleep.
Nights like this had been coming and going for years, often when I was feeling down about my job or thinking about my parents. And wouldn’t you know it, both of those topics had come up yesterday.
I never told Ellie or Gram, though. They would only worry, and I didn’t want them to make a fuss over me.
I lay in bed for a while, staring at the spinning of the ceiling fan, clearing my mind, and focusing on my breathing. As my heart rate slowed and my breathing steadied, my thoughts shifted to Jessa. Spending the day with her had been wonderful, especially the moments when we actually seemed to be getting along for once. It felt like progress. But seeing her with Cash felt like two steps back. The only other guy I’d ever seen her with was Cody, and she’d never smiled or laughed with him like she had with Cash last night. It filled me with a sense of urgency to get her to open her eyes and see what was right in front of her.
I thought about our brief dance and how good it felt to have her in my arms, and I groaned. The urge to pull her against me and press my lips to hers had been so strong, but I could only imagine how she would’ve reacted if I’d done that right there in front of all of our friends. After all these years, why couldn’t she see that I liked her? If she hadn’t caught on by now, she probably never would. I dreaded the day she’d find someone else and my chance with her would pass me by, but I was afraid of what might happen if I told her. If she didn’t feel the same, everything would change between us, and I’d rather fight with her than not have her in my life at all.
I got out of bed, threw on swim trunks and a T-shirt, and tossed a towel and a change of clothing in my backpack. It was a new day, and I was ready to see what it might bring.
I headed downstairs and found Gram at the kitchen table.
“How was last night?” she asked.
“Good.”
“You look tired. Are you coming down with something?”
“I’m fine.” I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek then went for some coffee and sat down next to her.
She eyed me curiously. “You also look perplexed. Anything you want to talk about?”
“I’m okay, Gram. Really.” I took a sip of my coffee. “I was thinking about how much I don’t want to work tomorrow before the rehearsal.” I’d actually been thinking about seeing Jessa today.
“You couldn’t get the day off?”
“I only had four vacation days left. Ellie wanted me to help pick people up yesterday so I had to use a vacation day for that. I really wanted to go to the lake with everyone today, so I had to take that off, then Saturday for the wedding, and Sunday for brunch.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie.” She reached over and touched my hand.
“It’s fine. Just annoying.”
“You can always find a different job.”
“With all of my many factory-related skills? I’d probably end up at another manufacturing job.”
“What about your computer skills? You have some classes under your belt. Maybe you could try to find something in that field.”
“Maybe.” I thought about Jessa’s business again but dismissed it as quickly as the thought came.
“God has a plan for you, Ethan.”
I sighed. “I just wish I knew what it was.”
Puffy white clouds floated across the sky as I helped Ellie and Cooper carry coolers and beach chairs and spread blankets in the grass by Glass Lake. Luke carted a small propane grill across the yard and proceeded to cook hamburgers and hot dogs while Ellie, Penny, and Tally set up a folding table with chips, cookies, and tableware. It was a perfect day, and plenty of people were hanging out by the lake to cool themselves on this balmy August afternoon.
I rode there with Ellie and Cooper since my car was still dead. I’d actually lied about it being the battery. Mom’s old car needed a new transmission, but I didn’t have the money for that, and I wasn’t sure it was worth putting that much into a car that old with so many miles on it. But I wasn’t sure I could bring myself to let it go either.
Jessa’s absence was obvious. Ellie had said all her girls would be there, so I knew she planned to come, and I was eager for her arrival.
“Hello,” a sweet small voice said.
I looked down at a little girl, who I recognized as Tally’s ten-year-old stepdaughter Nora. She was adorable with curly brown hair and big brown eyes staring up at me. In her hand was a video camera pointed directly at my face.
“Hello there, Steven Spielberg.”
Her eyes widened. “You know who Steven Spielberg is?”
“Who doesn’t? Director of E.T., Indiana Jones , and Jurassic Park, to name a few. ”
“And Hook !” she declared.
“No way could I forget Hook. ”
She smiled.
“Are you making a movie?”
She nodded. “It’s a wedding present for Ellie and Cooper.”
“That’s sweet of you.”
“Will you be in it?”
I laid my hand on my chest. “Me? Really? What do I have to do?”
“Say something nice to them.”
“I can do that.”
She looked at her camera for a moment, pressed a button, and stared at me, waiting.
“Oh, right now? Don’t you have to say ‘Action!’?”
She giggled.
“I can’t start until the director tells me to.”
Her giggles continued as she pointed at me and said, “Action!”
“I’m here live with director Nora Ephron on the banks of Glass Lake to wish my sister Ellie and Cooper, the love of her life, all the best in their future together. It’s been such a long time coming, and I’m so happy for both of you, and I love you very much. Have a great wedding.”
“Ellie’s your sister?” Nora asked.
“Yep.”
“I have two sisters.”
“I know you do.”
“Who’s Nora Ef-fern?” she asked.
“Nora Ephron is a famous movie director. Have you ever seen Sleepless in Seattle ?”
She shook her head.
“How about You’ve Got Mail ?”
Her eyes lit up. “I saw that with Tally once.”
“That was Nora Ephron’s movie.”
“My name is Nora, too.” Her smile spread wide.
“I know. Maybe one day you’ll be famous movie director Nora Mills.”
She giggled again. “But I might have a different last name if I get married.”
“That’s true.”
“What’s your last name?”
“Sweet.”
“Oh, yeah. Like Ellie.”
“Yep.”
“Nora!” her younger sister Ava came running up. “Daddy says Piper and I can’t go in the water unless you go with us.”
“Ava,” she said through her teeth. “I’m busy.”
“It’s okay, Nora. You can go swim.” I reached over and pressed the button on the back of her camera that she’d forgotten to turn off then tapped the end of her nose.
Her cheeks turned pink, and she ran away toward Tally and Jake, giggling with her sister.
A few vehicles arrived one after the other—Jessa, Cooper’s band, and Luke’s sister Steph, her husband Derek, and their kids.
Jessa had her ratty orange Abbottsville baseball cap on with a ponytail sticking out the back. She was wearing a white tank top, raggedy old jean shorts that hit mid-thigh, and black flip-flops, and she looked like perfection.
Cash said something to her, and she looked back at him and laughed but kept walking toward Ellie and the others. My eyes followed her. I couldn’t help it, and I didn’t care who saw me staring.
“Hey, Ethan,” Derek said as they approached.
“Hey, man.” We fist-bumped, and I waved a hand at his wife. “How’s it going, Steph?”
“It’s going well.” Little Gunnar was on her hip, sporting a cute sun hat and toddler-sized sunglasses. “What a beautiful day for this.”
She couldn’t have been more right.
Their six-year-old daughter Sasha smiled up at me with a pair of goggles on top of her head.
“Hey, Sasha. All ready to go swimming, I see.”
“I’m going scuba diving,” she explained.
I chuckled, and Derek laughed to himself. “Cool!” I pointed toward the other little girls on the beach. “I bet Nora and Ava would go with you if you asked.”
Her eyes lit up. “Can I go play with them, Daddy?”
“Sure, Sash.”
“I hope you see all the best fish down there,” I said with a smile.
She took off across the lawn to the beach, giggling all the way.
“Be careful!” Steph called after her.
“I will.” Her little voice trailed behind her.
Derek and I chatted and kept an eye on the kids while Steph went to help the ladies. I glanced at Jessa every once in a while, wishing one day we might be the ones whose kids wanted to “scuba dive” in this lake.
When the meal was ready, we settled around the lawn to eat. The ladies gathered at the picnic tables with the kids, the band sat on camp chairs on the lawn, and the rest of us guys were on beach chairs and a blanket closer to the lake.
“Man, it’s nice to take a day off.” Jake gazed out across the lake. “We’ve been so busy at work lately. I needed this.”
Luke nodded. “Me too.”
“Me three,” Derek said.
“I’m lucky I had enough vacation days left to even be here today,” I commented.
“Why are you still working there?” Derek asked.
“There’s this thing called money that you need in order to buy food and pay bills,” I joked.
Luke shook his head. “You’ve been miserable there forever. Why don’t you quit?”
“Says the guy who owns half the town and doesn’t ever have to worry about money.” I used a little more snark than I meant to.
“I can’t help the family I was born into,” he replied.
“I can’t afford to quit. My car needs some major repairs, which I don’t have the money …”
My attention was suddenly captured by Jessa who headed for the lake with the girls. I watched as she pulled off her hat, removed her ponytail, and shook her hair out. My gaze was glued to her as she stripped out of her clothes and headed for the dock in a two-piece suit that made it impossible for me to look away from her sun-bronzed skin and the cascade of sandy blonde hair flowing down her back.
I felt a pull across every inch of her distance from me like the tug of a largemouth bass on the end of a fishing line. She’d caught me a long time ago, even without casting her hook.
“Why don’t you just tell her how you feel about her?” Cooper lightly punched my arm.
“Because I’d like to live long enough to see my sister get married,” I joked.
“Seriously, man, you need to tell her. This tension between you two has gone on long enough,” Luke said.
“She’s single. You’re single. How come nothing’s ever happened between you two before?” Jake asked between bites of his burger.
“Because we can’t have a civilized conversation for the life of us.”
“That’s the tension. It was there for me and Tally too. Trust me, you’ll feel better if you tell her.”
Again, I thought about the possibility of telling her how I felt, and again, I worried that I’d ruin everything between us forever, and I didn’t want to lose her altogether.
“I can’t,” I said.
“I bet she feels the same about you,” Cooper said. “I’ve seen you two together. There’s something there.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“I do,” Jake said.
“Maybe we should put some money on it,” Luke declared.
Derek shook his head. “Why is that always the first place you go?”
“Because I have money to spare, and it’s for a good cause.”
“I don’t know if I’d consider it a cause,” I replied.
“Sounds like a cause to me,” Cooper agreed. “I’m totally shipping you two.”
“Shipping?”
“Relationshipping.” He shrugged. “I’ve been around your sister too long, and that’s what she always says about you and Jessa.”
“She does?”
“We all do,” Luke said.
“So, the girls know I like Jessa?”
Their heads all bobbed up and down, and my heartbeat stuttered.
“Jessa knows?”
“Nooo!”
“Oh no!”
“No way!”
They all replied simultaneously.
Luke looked me in the eye. “I dare you to tell Jessa you have feelings for her this weekend.”
My stomach filled with butterflies. Was I truly ready for that? What if she laughed in my face? What if she rejected me, which she most certainly would?
“And …” Luke got a twinkle in his eye. “… if you can get her to admit she has feelings for you too, I’ll pay to get your car fixed.”
I chuckled. “Funny.”
“I’m dead serious. This dance between you two has been going on for long enough. We’re making this happen.”
I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, who wants to take the canoe out on the lake?”
Luke ignored my attempt at changing the subject. “I’ll give you until the end of the reception on Saturday. Plenty of time.”
“And what if I tell her and end up with a black eye?”
The guys all laughed.
“I’m serious. What if I tell her and she doesn’t feel the same? I think just risking my life to tell her I like her should earn me that car repair.”
“Nah, man, you have to put in a little more work than that to get the reward.”
A screech followed by a loud “Daddy!” from little Piper and the Mills’ dog running across our blanket interrupted the conversation, and Piper came running up to Jake.
“Nora pushed me, and I fell on Rowdy!” she whined.
Jake’s eyes narrowed at Nora.
“She won’t leave me alone. I’m trying to make my movie,” Nora explained.
“Excuse me for a minute, guys.” Jake got up and corralled his girls off to the side away from everyone. I watched them while he spoke with force yet kindness at the same time.
“So, are you going to do it?” Luke asked.
I glanced over at him. “Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I’m out. I would never tell Jessa how I feel about her on a dare, and definitely not for money. She’s the only reward I need.”
“Aww, isn’t that sweet?” he teased.
“I need to tell her in my own time. I want it to happen naturally, not in a forced way under someone else’s timeline.”
Luke, Cooper, and Derek exchanged looks.
“What?” I asked.
Cooper nodded toward the water, where Jessa and Cash were laughing and splashing each other, and my heart sank.
“If you don’t do something soon, you may not get a chance.”