Chapter 30 #2
Jamie pulled the covers farther up along her chest, resting her chin on top. “Go on.”
“The way we met, I thought he was from a working class family like mine. We agreed on so many things and he lived a humble lifestyle, after all. When he asked me to go to Mexico with him, I was ready to say yes. Then I found out that he wasn’t one in a thousand Carlos Garcias.
He was the Carlos Garcia, of the Garcia line of multi-millionaires outside of Guadalajara.
He didn’t work because he didn’t need to, not because he had something against the capitalistic idea of working a man to death for a non-living wage.
His mother alone was sending him thousands a month.
When he asked me to go to Mexico with him, I found out that it was to meet the patriarch of his family, who had an affinity for, well, gringas.
I’m sure they were all very nice people, but I couldn’t imagine living that kind of lavish lifestyle, in any country.
I don’t want maids. I don’t want someone to cook for me, unless it’s a community affair or I’m a guest in someone’s home.
That doesn’t mean I look down on people like your fiancée, who live that sort of life, whether by want or necessity.
I just do not want to live like that. I like simple. ”
Jamie nodded. Simple was an understatement. If she couldn’t get it homemade, Luna didn’t bother. Jamie had a lot of… questionable outfits until she was old enough to get a job and shop at the local mall.
“You’re not me. You have always wanted more.
To see the world and how other people live.
Your father was wary of letting you go to the city, but I told him that it was your life and your own path to forge.
Children are either like their parents or the exact opposite.
If this is you being the opposite of us, then it’s not so bad.
Etta is a clever, kind woman it seems. I trust your judgment.
If she makes you happy and treats you well, as your mother…
that’s all I can ask for! I also understand that you want to do things to help her business.
That’s natural. But, honey… haven’t you considered something very crucial? ”
Silence fell between them. No. No, Jamie had not considered a damn crucial thing. She had been too busy feeling sorry for herself.
“Everything you talk about is Etta, Etta, Etta. Or if it’s not about Etta, it’s about trying to impress these other people you don’t even like! What do you want to do?”
“What do you mean?” Wasn’t it obvious? She wanted to help Etta…
“I mean what are you going to do with your life? What happens after the wedding? Do you take up the mantle of a businesswoman’s wife?
Do you spend all your days kissing ass… or do you go into seclusion, because you can’t stand the pressure?
I can’t imagine you wanting to live either kind of life.
It doesn’t suit you. I’m not saying don’t marry the woman if you can handle what it throws your way, but you can’t make your life all about her! ”
Jamie sucked in her lips, waiting for it.
“Damnit, Jam, get a life!”
She fell over, eyes staring blankly in front of her as her mother got up.
“You’re a good, compassionate girl, Jamie.
Perhaps too good and compassionate. You give away too much of yourself, especially if it’s for someone you love.
You can’t do that. You can’t live like that.
It doesn’t work. It doesn’t work. Listen to your mother about this if nothing else…
if you give everything left in your youth, your life, your vitality and your soul to these people, you will have nothing left for yourself.
I’ve seen it happen to others, and I can’t bear the thought of it happening to you.
Trust me. Doing something for yourself… and you seem to have the means now to do anything you want…
will give you more confidence anyway, because your existence won’t be wrapped up in what others think of you.
Do something you’re proud of. Something that expresses your creativity.
Anything other than what I’ve seen you do since I’ve been here…
which is nothing short of being someone you’re not! ”
Jamie tossed back her covers. Her mother interrupted her before she could speak.
“Is it terrible that you’ve been embarrassed and hurt your fiancée’s business prospects?
Of course it is! But she’ll recover. You will move on.
You live, you learn, you take your lessons and turn them into something that will stay with you forever.
That’s the benefit of getting older, honey.
You learn what really doesn’t matter and enjoy your life more.
Because the older you get? The more you realize there isn’t much left.
You have to make time for yourself. You have to find things that make you happy, damn what others think.
It’s great that you have a good relationship with a woman who adores you, but what are you doing for yourself?
I love your father like the moon loves the stars, but I can’t revolve my life around him.
We live on the same small farm, but I have friends I talk to far away from him every day.
We have different hobbies. He loves sporting around while I would rather create things.
” Luna shrugged. “If I spent every hour of every day involving your father and his intimate world, I would go crazy! There isn’t even any pressure that comes from that like it does with you! ”
Whatever tone Luna used, it inspired Barbarossa to make a grand appearance from Etta’s office across the hall.
She sauntered in, mewled at her human grandmother, and sat between them with her tail swishing as always.
Jamie leaped down and scooped her up, burying her face in Barbarossa’s warm, silky fur as she began to purr.
Sometimes, she was good for something other than a foot warmer.
“Oh, don’t worry, hon. Like I said, you’re still young.
You’re also going through a transition. In a few months, you’ll be able to focus more on what you want outside of your marriage.
I’m ramming your ass about this right now because I don’t want to check in with you ten years from now and find out you’ve ran yourself ragged trying to always get down on your knees and bend over backward for people who ultimately don’t mean anything to you.
Make changes now while they still have power to transform your life.
” Luna smiled for the first time in five minutes.
“I brought my Tarot deck if you would like a reading. Maybe we can figure out what path you can take.”
Normally, Jamie would have declined, but hearing her mother’s admonitions, warnings, and words of profound love had melted her inside. While stroking her calm kitty, Jamie managed a wan smile and said, “I’d like that. We could have lunch in here, if you don’t mind.”
Luna pet Barbarossa as well, her eyes slowly closing in eternal feline happiness as she soaked up this attention. “Sure thing, honey. Let me go get my deck.”
Jamie lay back down, clutching Barbarossa close to her until the cat couldn’t take it anymore. By the time Luna returned, carrying a wooden box, the cat had made a break for the far end of the bed, where she now gave herself a bath that lasted the duration of Jamie’s tarot card reading.
She didn’t take much stock in tarot or other forms of divination. She just wanted to spend some time with her mother, the only person who recognized what it was Jamie truly needed.
Some sense knocked into her skull.