Chapter 58
“Coleman, party of…” Etta looked over her shoulder. “Twenty-seven.”
The ma?tre d’ at the French restaurant braced himself for the huge party coming his way.
The reservations had been made well in advance, but Jamie called that morning to add about four more people.
She barely had time to enjoy her final night as an unmarried woman, thanks to this ridiculous rehearsal brunch they had to throw.
The rehearsal itself had been fine, thanks in large part to Jenny and her team.
The carpenters finished their task with a day to spare, and now the backyard was covered in chairs while a beautiful catwalk circled from the balcony.
They would be getting married on it in about twenty-four hours, God rest Jamie’s harried soul.
Since most of the wedding party – all right, mostly Adele – had appointments that evening, they had to hold the rehearsal in the morning, complete with cats making great escapes without leashes and Beatrice running around screeching for them to come back.
A photographer from a high society magazine followed them around, determined to catch everyone in “casual” poses…
although every time he faced someone, they were suddenly smiling and primping themselves.
Seena took the most joy in this. She was convinced she would find her own billionaire husband and wanted to make sure she looked fantastic.
While Jamie had anticipated a somewhat rowdy bunch for her rehearsal dinner, she did not anticipate being seated at a large banquet table…
in the back of the main dining area. Etta was not bothered by this.
Adele commented about feeling like she was in a goldfish bowl, but for the most part, everyone acted like this was the biggest non-issue that could have happened that day.
Luna and Saul were amused to be in such a fancy restaurant.
Naturally, there were other diners in the room. Naturally, they were well-to-do and had enough propriety to leave the large wedding party alone. Naturally, this was all going much too smoothly, and something had to be done about it, so help the Misses Coleman.
“If I could have everyone’s attention, please!
” Luna called, standing in front of the banquet table with her hands in the air.
She was certainly a sight in this restaurant.
While everyone else wore their nicest midday outfits, from pastel cocktail dresses to light linen, Luna Joy was barely fussed with clothing at all.
Let alone fancy clothes! Earlier that day, Jamie was relieved that her mother wore a nice muumuu without any phallic imagery on it.
Now she wished her mother had dropped some of the seashell jewelry…
and brushed her hair… “So, for anyone who doesn’t recognize us, we are Jamie’s parents.
” Like anyone didn’t know… and now the whole restaurant knew, because Luna had one of those voices that carried to Timbuktu.
Saul chose that moment to join his wife, dressed in a loud Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts.
“As such, we would like to perform a ritualistic dance of fertility that is commonly performed in the indigenous tribes of Ecuador on the eve of a wedding.”
“No… Mom!” Jamie stood up from her seat, Etta looking to her to ask if she knew anything about this beforehand. No, no, I did not!
Suffice to say, when this strange and probably not authentic at all interpretive dance took a turn for the blatantly sexual, Jamie – and security – had to physically intervene.
“Well, at least this is already the most interesting rehearsal dinner I’ve ever been to,” Seena said, while her brother Tosh nodded. “And I went to my cousin Calista’s rehearsal dinner, where the cops showed up to arrest someone’s uncle for outstanding warrants.”
All eyes in the restaurant were on the Joys. Saul, Luna, their daughter… it didn’t matter who it was. If their last name was Joy, they were the subject of intrigue… and derision.
“Kill me,” Jamie muttered, while Luna went on about sexual oppression and Saul demanded to talk to the manager.
Now Etta had to intervene… mostly to get her future father-in-law to realize that some things could not be done in this restaurant, especially with present company. “I love them, but please kill me.”
After the brunch, everyone stepped outside to deal with the valets.
This included Jamie, who had driven there separately to split the load between personal cars and the limo.
Her parents had ridden with her to the restaurant, but right now they were having yet another row with Etta and the restaurant manager over what was considered appropriate.
“See you at the house,” Natasha said, hopping in a car with Tosh and Seena. “We’ll get you nice and tipsy tonight!”
They were having a small, intimate party that night at the manor.
Sure, there were still things to do for the wedding the next afternoon, but most of it was taken care of, and both Jamie and Etta agreed on a small party for those who could make it.
Right now? Jamie didn’t feel like hosting a party at all.
She would much rather climb beneath a pile of blankets and pretend she was not one with this world.
Or at least until the embarrassment her parents caused blew over.
Someone sneakily took the Lord’s name in vain behind Jamie.
She turned around. Even though her sunglasses made the world dark enough to look like the Apocalypse was here, she still saw two thirty-something women smoking on the sidewalk.
She recognized them from the gallery at the restaurant…
and recognized them as two very rich socialites.
Like the older sisters of the two girls who once made fun of her in another restaurant.
Normally, she wouldn’t pay them any mind. Especially on a day like today, when she should be full of fervor. Yet the incident in the restaurant had made Jamie more masochistic than usual, and her ear happened to catch a downwind smoky conversation from hell.
“Can you believe that?” asked a strawberry blond who puffed as if it were going out of style. “That woman and everything she stands for is such an embarrassment. You would think she was following some script given to her the moment she started dating Etta.”
“You’re a bitter bitch ‘cause she turned you down at that function two years ago. Ever since, you’ve done nothing but complain!” said her friend, a bottled redhead.
The blond socialite waved smoke away from her face. “Can you blame me? She’s so hot, she makes any girl’s panties catch fire. I also hear she’s good in bed. So sue me.”
“That’s all you care about… besides the money.” The redhead chuckled. “I’m sure your fiancé would be happy to know that you fantasize about Etta Coleman fucking your twat.”
“Shut up!” If blushing could be audible, then Jamie would hear it now. “My fiancé knows enough about that. You know that blasphemous article that came out months ago?”
“Yeah, what about it?”
“My fiancé is the #1 advisory editor at that paper, you know… not that neither Coleman nor Thompson will be going to them for announcements anymore…”
“No… you’re not saying…”
The blonde grinned, stomping out her cigarette on the sidewalk. “A little birdie may have told the advisory assistant that their info was all wrong. It wasn’t just a business merger announcement with a side of engagement… it was the same thing. Jamie Slut Joy who?”
Jamie sank against her car.
“You bitch!” the redhead laughed. “Did you seriously tell your fiancé that Coleman was actually marrying Thompson and not that whore of hers? What did you think that was going to accomplish? They don’t even know who you are.”
“Never let it be said I’m not a petty ho.
” They both cackled now, starting their second round of cigarettes.
“Coleman thinks she can turn down my pussy? Well, Thompson doesn’t get to take my invitations to the garden parties and soirees.
I was on the list to go to Monique Warner’s garden party when Ms. Adele Thompson showed up in town, and I’m suddenly off the list. Doesn’t that slut know that girls like us make our living from attending parties?
It’s our bread and butter! So, they want to fuck with my living?
I’ll fuck with theirs. If I can at all get that tart Jamie out of the picture, all the better. ”
“Why do you hate her so much?”
“Why do any of us hate that slut? She doesn’t know anything, and it's so embarrassing. You saw that disgusting display in there. Is that what our functions, our dining experiences are going to be from now on? I don’t fucking think so.
Look, I know I wasn’t going to get rid of her that easily, and they’re getting married tomorrow…
but what if I told you that I know where Coleman will be a month from now?
“Let me guess. The Annual Admiral’s Conference in DC. Just like you.”
“Fuck yes. It’s also my personal mission to get in her pants, even if it means loading her up with so much alcohol she has a raging hangover for a whole week straight. She’ll be married a month by then. My mother says that’s when people start cheating. That soon!”
“Well, fuck! That explains every other marriage I’ve seen deteriorate around me. Hey, what’s the betting pool on the Warners’ marriage?”
“Everyone’s giving it over a year because of that baby thing, but you bet that once she’s done being enamored with motherhood, Helen will look for better models. Like us.”
“Girl…”
Jamie could barely stand to listen to any more.
I don’t even know these women, other than slightly recognizing them from the papers…
Yet they were conspiring against her? Because she was with Etta?
Would they hate her this much if she had been born like them?
Is this what Carolyn had been talking about when she told Jamie that rich women felt like she had stolen something from them by marrying an eligible partner?