8. Claire
I’m burning. From guilt, from fever, from the punishment of whatever ring of Hell I’ve been taken to. Fire eats at my skin, blisters my organs, turns my soul black with its smoke.
And then the barest relief washes over me, like I’ve been thrown in the ocean.
My eyes fly open, and I try to sit up, drawing a deep breath of air that lets water into my lungs. I cough, my body crumpling in half, until I think I’ll hack up a lung. A hand on my back smacks against my skin, helping clear the water I sucked in, and once I’m finally able to breathe air, I realize I’m looking into Elaine’s soft brown eyes. “You’re okay.” She promises. I think she’s promised that a couple of times, actually, but this is the first time it has really registered.
I look around me at the bathroom, my clothes laying in a pile on the ground like they’ve been thrown there in a hurry. My eyes flit down to my body, submerged in a tub of ice-cold water with nothing but a soaking wet towel draped over me. “You undressed me?” I say, too weak for the accusation to come out like the demand for answers I want.
Even to me, it’s weak and feckless. My teeth chatter together violently. Where a moment ago I’d been burning, now I’m surely freezing to death. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen.” She laughs, but it’s tense. “You were burning up. If a fever gets too high for too long, it can cause brain damage. I don’t know how long you were out before I found you.”
I close my eyes, letting her words settle over me like another layer of ice, though she spoke warmly, like she was concerned. “What the hell is wrong with me?” I mutter, more to myself than to her. I don’t expect an answer at all, honestly.
“I think you must have an infection,” she says quietly. “But we’ll find out for sure in just a bit. The doctor is on her way here now. She should be here any minute.”
“Doctor?” I try to stand, but my legs are insubstantial, rendering me unable to move. “I don’t need a doctor.”
“Of course, you do.” She pushes me back with a gentle hand, and I slip against the porcelain, coming to rest up o my neck in the water. “If only we’d taken you to the hospital when you first came back, this wouldn’t have happened.” She shakes her head and mutters something, but I don’t bother trying to decipher what it is.
I close my eyes, resolving that I have no energy to fight her, and when I open them again, it’s like time has passed. I don’t know if it was seconds or minutes, but now there is another middle-aged woman leaning over me. The scent of jasmine threatens to drown me, making my head spin. I focus on the pin on her coat, a triangle surrounded by a circle with three gemstones set in it. She and Elaine talk while I focus on not slipping under the water, and every once in a while, her cool hands run over my skin in innocent gestures, offering me some small comfort.
“Your fever is coming down well, Claire.” The doctor smiles. “Let’s get you back to bed.”
I rise with their help, clutching the sopping wet towel against me to preserve whatever dignity I still have, which is about none, and lean against Elaine as I step one foot out of the tub, and then the other. “I’ll wipe up the floor later.” She mutters, her eyes flitting to the water dripping on the wood.
“Close your eyes.” I tell them as we approach the bed. The doctor smiles like she’s trying to hide a laugh, and Elaine shakes her head, but they both oblige long enough for me to drop the towel and slip into a dry robe.
“Okay,” I tell them when I’m safely in the bed. “You can open your eyes.”
Elaine scoops up the towel and takes it to the bathroom. The doctor focuses on me, smiling softly. Suddenly I feel like a child; It should feel patronizing, but it’s oddly comforting. “I heard you have a pretty nasty cut. Can I take a look?”