5
At Kate’s announcement, an internal scream swells inside me and my gaze instinctively swivels in Joel’s direction. Those dark eyes lock with mine. He looks as unhappy as I feel.
I return my gaze to the table and whisper, “I don’t believe it.”
“And here I thought I was the scheming sister,” Tess says.
I’m sure I can detect a hint of admiration in her tone.
I dig my nails into my palms. “What is Kate up to? Who shares their first dance with two other people?”
Tess tilts her head, considering. “My matchmaking sister who hates the spotlight, that’s who.
Kate’s never liked being the center of attention.
” Her eyes glitter with amusement. “Of course, knowing Kate, it’s not just about the spotlight.
She’s probably decided it’s high time you two had your moment. ”
Sofia rests her elbows on the table and leans closer to me. “Do you want me to take her out?” she asks casually. “Since you’re incapable of harming anything.”
She thinks it’s hilarious that I can’t bring myself to kill spiders, even though they terrify me. Whenever I discover one inside my apartment, I capture it in a glass and set it free in the backyard. Then I collapse on the couch to recover from the sheer terror of the relocation.
“It’s bad form to do away with the bride on her wedding day,” Tess points out.
Sofia releases a disappointed sigh. “I suppose you’re right.” She turns to me with a wide grin. She’s enjoying this way too much. “It looks like you’ll have to dance with him.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
As Gideon and Kate make their way to the dance floor, Kate crooks a come on finger at me.
I press myself back into my seat, dread crawling over my skin.
Sofia gives me a gentle nudge. “You can’t get out of this one, I’m afraid.”
“I volunteer you as tribute,” I say weakly.
“No one volunteers me for anything,” Sofia retorts. “Besides, Kate’s got her own agenda here and I’m not part of it.”
I follow the direction of her gaze. At Kate’s not-so-subtle prompting, Joel reluctantly rises and moves to the edge of the dance floor. He shoots me a look, his jaw tight, mouth set in a grim line as he waits for me to join him.
Tess pinches my arm.
“Ow!” I jump in my chair, then force myself to stand, my pulse pounding.
Sofia mouths, don’t trip , which is exactly what my shaking legs now feel inclined to do.
As I drag my feet toward Joel, I dimly register Farah’s annoyed expression. Now, on top of all the other emotions jostling for space inside me, I feel a spurt of worry over the fact that Farah clearly isn’t happy with me. I’m not usually the type of person who provokes negative feelings in others.
Gideon and Kate are already gliding gracefully back and forth to Ed Sheeran’s Perfect , completely lost in each other.
I stop in front of Joel, feeling too exposed to meet his gaze.
After a second, he holds out his hand, and I take it like I’m stepping off a cliff.
His warm fingers close over mine and he tugs me gently onto the dance floor.
He pulls me close enough to settle his other hand on the small of my back, while mine sits awkwardly on his shoulder.
We begin to move. Or rather, he moves and I try to follow his lead, but my body is stiff and graceless.
“Relax,” he murmurs. “It’s just a dance.”
I swallow. “Right. Just a dance.”
A dance with a man I grabbed inside a storeroom and kissed like the world was ending tomorrow.
But I’m too busy internally freaking out at the thought of everyone’s eyes on us that I’m not even really thinking about the kiss.
Joel frowns. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s like there’s a spotlight on us.”
“There probably is.”
I release a careful breath. My stomach feels all twisted.
“Forget about them,” he advises.
“I can’t.” Anxiety presses on my chest. “I hate this.”
“Some people like being the center of attention.”
“Not me. I’m more of a fade-into-the-background type of person.”
Joel regards me silently for a beat. “Says who?”
The online personality test I took a couple of years ago. My friends. My family. That small voice in my head. “People,” I say vaguely.
His hand shifts slightly, just enough to pull me an inch closer. I’m acutely aware of the heat of his hand through the fabric of my dress. “You’re not someone who fades into the background,” he says gruffly. “You stand out, Kenzie. You might not want to, but you do.”
When I lift startled eyes to his, he says thoughtfully, “I’m starting to suspect other people see a different version of you.”
“Nope,” I deny. “They see me.”
“I doubt they see what I experienced in that storeroom.”
I suck in a sharp breath. “You are not, under any circumstances, to bring that up!”
An entertained look skates across his face. “I can’t imagine a time when I won’t bring it up.”
The memory of our kiss now lingers between us like a silent dance partner. My mind is filled with the feel of his lips on mine. The taste of him. The controlled strength he showed in the intimacy of that pitch-black room. The charge in the air grows heavier.
He dips his head to whisper in my ear, “Just so I’m prepared, are you planning to maul me again once this dance is over?”
My eyes widen. “Stop talking about it right now.”
“All right,” he says easily.
A niggle of suspicion steals over me. He agreed a little too quickly. “Good.”
A chuckle rustles in his throat. “You can’t stop me thinking about it though.”
Words stall on my tongue. Impossible man!
The faint twitch of his mouth lets me know he’s all too aware of the effect of his words.
It takes me a second or two to realize that for the last few minutes, I haven’t been paying attention to anyone’s eyes on us. Even the knots in my stomach have loosened.
It’s only him and me, his big, warm hand spanning the curve of my spine, his eyes holding mine.
Was that his intention? Did he tease me to distract me?
We dance for a while in silence. Joel leads with practiced control, shifting us gently in a turn, and my body follows his lead without question. I am so very careful to leave breathing space between us, as if I don’t know what it’s like to feel the hard contours of his body pressed against mine.
I dart a quick glance over to Sofia and Tess. Which is a monumental mistake. They’re watching us with such delighted fascination I feel a flush creeping up my neck.
“So that’s your ex-boyfriend, the guy you were talking to?” Joel asks, breaking the silence.
“Bobby. Yes.”
“Hmm.”
Because his hmm sounded faintly judgmental, I add, “A perfectly nice man.”
“Ah, nice ,” Joel murmurs. “The death knell of any relationship.”
My brow furrows, but before I can say anything, he asks, “How long?”
“How long what?”
“How long did your relationship last?”
The question feels bold, but it also feels rude not to answer. “About three months.”
“When did you break up?”
“I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this line of questioning,” I say stiffly.
His eyes gleam. “Would you feel more comfortable talking about our kiss?”
“Ugh, fine. We broke up two months ago.”
“You could do better than him,” he tells me without missing a beat.
“Bobby’s a good man.”
“Bobby’s a weak man,” Joel counters.
“You don’t know him.”
“Did he give a reason why he didn’t show?” he asks.
I mumble the words to his chest, directing my gaze there because I don’t have the courage to look at his face right now. “He said he changed his mind. I think Sofia scares him.”
His hand flexes on my back. It takes him a moment to answer. “Sofia scares everyone. Even me. But that wouldn’t have stopped me from meeting you in that storeroom.”
I glance up at him then. It’s a mistake. There’s something in his eyes I can’t name. Something tight and dangerous.
“A weak man,” he repeats.
I keep quiet. I have nothing to say in Bobby’s defense, not when Joel has so ruthlessly dismantled every argument I made for him.
“I’m still curious, though,” he says. “Why did you agree to meet him?”
My shoulder hitches in a small shrug. “I don’t know. I suppose I was feeling lonely. Weddings always leave me a little sad.”
His face is carefully expressionless when he asks, “Are you sure you don’t want to get back together with him?”
“I’m sure.” I feel the bittersweet ache in my chest spread. “I guess I just wanted someone to look at me the way Aaron looks at Tess and the way Gideon can’t take his eyes off Kate. I thought I could find it with Bobby, but I was wrong.”
Discomfort flickers across his face before he quickly blanks his expression.
That tiny, emotional reveal makes my throat tighten and I stare at the pulse beating in the hollow of his throat, wishing I could rewind time and snatch back my confession. What is wrong with me? Why would I tell him that?
And when is this dance going to end? If I didn’t know any better, I’d suspect that Kate somehow organized for the song to play on a loop.
“Why didn’t you photograph Kate’s wedding?” I ask suddenly.
“I didn’t want to,” Joel answers after a telling pause. “I’d rather be here as a guest and enjoy the wedding.”
It’s a simple enough answer, but I also know he once liked Kate. That he’d asked her out and she turned him down. Now I can’t help but wonder if that’s the real reason he didn’t want to be the official photographer for her wedding. Maybe it would hurt too much.
The thought causes an odd stab of jealousy in my midsection. Which shocks me. I have no reason to feel jealous.
We’re now swaying in a way that feels more like breathing than dancing, the dance floor gleaming beneath our feet.
Joel moves his head slightly, and the overhead lights catch the faint scar on his cheekbone.
My eyes linger there. It should detract from his looks.
Somehow, it only makes him more handsome.
I want to ask what happened, but it feels like a brazen question.
And I’ve done more than my share of brazen things today.
Mercifully, the music ends. Joel releases my hand, and we step back quickly from one another, like we’ve both just remembered we’re not alone.
Applause breaks out around us, a blur of hands and smiles. Someone whistles. I barely register it. I glance over at Kate. She’s watching me with a soft smile, like she sees something I haven’t figured out yet.
I force a smile back, but all I want is to get off the dance floor and find somewhere to breathe.
“Thank you for the dance,” I say to Joel. “We managed to survive it.”
He shrugs too casually and says again, “It’s just a dance.”
But it felt like more than just a dance.
And I think there’s a part of him that realizes it too.