18
“Okay, what do you really think of him?” Tess asks, tucking her legs underneath her on the couch.
“Who?” I ask, playing dumb.
Sofia pulls a bottle of wine out of the fridge. “Is there someone else you’re fake engaged to?”
I think of Joel standing on my porch, tall and brooding, those dark eyes taking me in, the austere planes of his face softened only by that sexy mouth, the one that feels like a dare every time I try to coax a smile from it.
“I don’t think of him,” I say, far too quickly.
“I don’t know why you bother,” Sofia says, topping up my glass with a shake of her head. “You’re a terrible liar.”
Tess jabs a breadstick in my direction. “All you’ve done is confirm that Joel takes up a lot of space in your brain.”
Sitting next to me on the couch, Kate shrugs. “Sorry, Kenzie, but you opened yourself up to this.”
We’re gathered in Sofia’s living room, the space flickering with candles and color.
Taylor Swift is on an unapologetic loop, a sprawling charcuterie board claims every inch of the coffee table, and there’s enough wine to keep us here all night.
Outside, a soft spring rain taps against the windows like it wants to come in and join the gossip.
With Matt away on yet another business trip, the house feels entirely ours.
Three pairs of eyes are still staring curiously at me.
Heat rises in my cheeks as I admit, “He’s...interesting.”
“Interesting?” Tess frowns at me. “Crossword puzzles are interesting. I’m going to need something a little juicier.”
I take a sip of wine and stare into the flickering candlelight, knowing full well that interesting doesn't even scratch the surface. Joel is frustrating. Impossible. Guarded. But he’s also intriguing and kind. And lonelier than he lets on.
“Why the need for something juicy?” Sofia asks Tess. “Married life too boring for you?”
Tess flashes a secretive smile. “Have you seen Aaron’s bedroom blue eyes? What do you think?”
Kate pops an olive into her mouth. “Not what I want to hear from the mouth of my little sister.”
I fold my hands in my lap and smile at Tess. “I think you wouldn’t know a day of boredom with Aaron.”
Tess leans forward in her chair and clinks her glass with mine. “Let the record show that Kenzie is one hundred per cent correct.”
Sofia wads up a chocolate wrapper and tosses it at Tess. “Now you’re just rubbing it in.”
A small silence drifts over us. We sip our drinks, deliberately avoiding Matt’s name.
His absence from our group chats and get-togethers is becoming harder to ignore.
The few times we’ve tried to bring it up, Sofia shuts us down.
So we leave it alone. At least, for now.
She’ll tell us if something’s wrong when she’s ready.
But it doesn’t stop the quiet ache of worry curling in my chest.
I clear my throat. “Joel did that thing where he made sure his body was between me and the road when we walked down Main.”
“That’s hot,” Tess says.
“So hot,” Kate agrees, helping herself to another olive. “Whenever Gideon does that, I melt.”
Sofia delicately stacks a semi-dried tomato and a slice of cheese onto a cracker. “Please tell me your date with Joel ended in a kiss.”
“It didn’t.” Technically, this is not a lie.
Kate gives me a sidelong look full of meaning. “I’m disappointed to hear that,” she says. “Especially after I went to all the trouble to set the two of you up at my wedding.”
I shake my head at her. “I still can’t believe you hijacked your first dance to put us on the spot like that.”
“I like to do things differently,” she says, her leg bumping lightly into mine. “And I’m still convinced you and Joel are perfectly suited.”
I try to keep my next question light, almost casual. “Why didn’t the two of you ever get together?” I ask Kate.
Her eyes scan my face, like she’s trying to read the complicated knot of emotions I’m still busy untangling. “Where’s this coming from?”
“Curiosity.” I bite my lip. “Mainly.”
She nods slowly. “Okay. Well, besides the fact that I’ve only ever seen Joel as a brother, I always got the sense he was carrying too much of his own baggage to make room for mine.” Her eyes soften. “Gideon, on the other hand, could take everything I threw at him. And still ask for more.”
I go quiet, rotating the stem of my empty wineglass between my fingers while I turn her words over in my head.
Kate might be right about Joel, but a part of me wonders if she isn’t wrong too.
Joel would have shouldered the weight of her past. But maybe two people with too many scars can’t help but reopen each other’s wounds.
Or maybe they fit together where no one else ever could.
Sofia and Tess’s gazes flick between Kate and me.
“What else is going on here, Kenzie?” Kate asks softly.
Feeling all kinds of awkward, I whisper, “I don’t want to be Joel’s consolation prize.”
Kate sucks in a sharp breath. “You’re not,” she says with conviction.
“Not even close. I think Joel was drawn to me because some part of him needed to help someone. I was hurting, and he saw that. But I don’t believe he was ever truly attracted to me.
He even admitted as such. That’s why Gideon isn’t the least bit jealous about Joel and me working together. ”
“And you never asked Joel about his past?” Tess asks Kate.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because asking about his past would have given him permission to ask about mine,” she answers in a quiet voice. “And I wasn’t ready to open that door.”
I don’t know all the details of Kate’s past, but I know enough. Enough to understand the strength it must have taken to walk away from an abusive marriage and start over, with her little girl depending on her.
I reach for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m just really glad you found happiness with Gideon. You deserve that kind of steady, safe love.”
When I start to blink rapidly, Tess stiffens in alarm. “Uh-uh, Kenzie, you softie. Don’t you dare cry or else we’ll all start tearing up.”
Sofia shoots us a disdainful look. “Oh, please. I cry for no one.”
But I catch the slight turn of her head, the quick swipe at her eyes she hopes no one sees.
I swallow hard. “I think I’ve done enough crying to last a lifetime.”
“Which is why you’re in the mess you’re in,” Sofia says bluntly.
“Fake engaged,” Tess adds.
“To a man I’ve known professionally for two years,” Kate continues, setting down her glass. “Who’s never had anything close to a steady relationship. And who, for the most part, is still a mystery to me.”
Sofia gives a thoughtful tilt of her head. “I bet you there’s a story behind his scar.”
“Sketchy childhood?” Tess suggests. “Bar brawl? Unhinged ex-wife?”
“Why does it have to be something dark and dramatic?” I ask. “Joel could have fallen off his bike or gashed himself on the edge of a table.”
“Boring,” Tess declares, but then she tosses me a sheepish smile. “But Aaron does say my imagination needs its own leash.”
“It’s also why you’re an excellent greeting card writer,” Sofia points out.
“Did Joel ever tell you how he got his scar?” I ask Kate.
She shakes her head. “No. And I never asked.”
“I would definitely ask,” Tess pipes up.
“We know,” the three of us chorus, and she grins.
“What about Joel’s friends?” I ask.
Kate’s brow creases. “I don’t know. He’s never mentioned any, and I’ve never met anyone he’s close to. He mostly keeps to himself.” She pauses, considering. “I asked him once if he stayed in touch with anyone from his past, but he looked so uncomfortable I didn’t press.”
I reach instinctively for my pendant, curling my fingers around its familiar shape, like it might steady the unease stirring in my chest. Joel has lived in Brown Oaks for nearly three years, but no one really knows him.
He rents a cabin on the edge of town and only shows up to local events if he’s been hired to photograph them.
If he has close friends, he keeps them well hidden.
I used to think it was the town holding him at arm’s length. But now, I’m not so sure. Now it seems like he’s the one keeping his distance. As if he doesn’t trust anyone. As if he’s already preparing to leave one day and doesn’t want anyone to give him a reason to stay.
“You and Joel suit each other,” Tess declares, humor dancing in her eyes. “You like to fix people and he likes to push them away. It should make for an interesting dynamic.”
“Honestly, you’re the last person I ever expected to end up fake engaged,” Sofia says. “You’re kind to a fault. You give people the benefit of the doubt, sometimes more than they deserve. And that’s exactly why we’re scared you’re the one who’s going to get hurt.”
There’s something both comforting and disconcerting having friends who know you so well. But sometimes, I wonder if I act the way I do because it’s truly who I am or because it’s who they expect me to be. It’s hard to know the difference sometimes.
I gesture to the pop of bright red on top of the brie. “What’s this?” I ask, seizing the chance to change the subject.
Sofia’s eyes light up. “Homemade cranberry salsa.”
I try a spoonful. “It’s amazing.”
“My aunt’s recipe,” she says, with a mischievous grin. “Mean as a snake and guarded that recipe like it was the crown jewels. So one night, I waited until she was fast asleep and stole it.”
Just then, Kate’s phone rings. “It’s Gideon,” she says, tapping the screen. “Hi, honey.”
The rest of us immediately lean in, helping ourselves to more food while shamelessly eavesdropping.
“No,” Kate says into the phone. “I did not promise she could have a bowl of ice cream before bed.” A pause. “Oh, now she says it was two bowls? Nice try. Do not give in, no matter how much she bats those pleading brown eyes at you.”
She hangs up and stares at the phone for a beat, lips twitching. “Lisset’s totally getting that ice cream. Gideon doesn’t stand a chance.”
“That’s my niece,” Tess declares proudly, waving a breadstick for emphasis. “Future CEO. Crushing negotiations at bedtime.”
Sofia turns to me, eyes narrowed. “So, what exactly is the plan with this fake engagement?”
I had a feeling she’d circle back eventually. “We’re keeping it low-key. No drama.”
She arches a skeptical eyebrow. “In essence, the opposite of all the attention you drew to yourself Saturday night?”
I shift uncomfortably. “That was a one-time thing. It won’t happen again.”
“And then what?” Kate chimes in. “You two quietly break up?”
“Exactly,” I say, nodding. “Amicable parting. We remain good friends. And ideally, the town stops casting him as the villain.”
“Just...be careful,” Tess says softly. “Please.”
Something in her voice makes me sit up straighter. “What are you trying to say?”
She hesitates for a second too long and I immediately know something’s up.
“Tess?” I press, catching the glance she exchanges with Sofia. The look that says they’ve already talked about this.
Tess crosses and uncrosses her legs, like she wishes she could take the words back.
“Sometimes, I catch this look on Joel’s face,” she says at last. “It reminds me of Aaron, when he was still hiding everything. That haunted expression Sofia noticed first, before any of us realized what he was fighting.”
I remember that moment clearly. How Sofia had quietly pointed out that there was something going on with Aaron.
She hadn’t been wrong. Back then, none of us understood how deep Aaron’s pain went.
It took time, love, and therapy to help him face what he’d buried.
And Tess had been beside him for all of it.
“I agree Joel has been through something that’s left a mark,” Kate acknowledges, pushing her hair out of her face. “I don’t know what it is, but I know I trust him. In all the time we’ve worked together, I’ve never once felt unsafe around him.”
“It’s not Kenzie’s physical safety I’m worried about,” Tess says. “It’s her heart.”
I pull at the neckline of my shirt, which abruptly feels too tight.
Honestly, everything feels too tight—my throat, my skin, even the space around me.
I sense the love behind their concern, but I also can’t help feeling a little smothered.
I know my friends mean well, but sometimes it feels like they’re trying to bubble-wrap me before I can take a single step toward the life I want.
And even if that step turns out to be a mistake, I might need to take it anyway, because who knows?
It might just lead me to the right place.
“There’s nothing to worry about,” I reassure them, forcing a small smile. “This whole fake engagement just sort of happened. We’re rolling with it. It’s harmless and fun. Nothing serious.”
Sofia gives a light hand clap to grab our attention.
“Okay, everyone, time for your latest romantic forecast for Joel and Kenzie.” Her voice drops into mock-serious commentator mode.
“We’re looking at a high-pressure system of longing gazes, with an eighty percent chance of unresolved sexual tension.
A slow front of emotional repression is moving in from the north, where it will likely collide with a warm front of deep denial. ”
Tess snorts. Kate lifts her glass to hide a grin. And I can’t help chuckling, grateful for the levity.
“If conditions are right,” Sofia continues, “there’s a strong chance of a category five kiss.”
I school my expression into neutrality. If only they knew the storm’s already hit, and I’m still reeling from its aftermath.
Sofia winks at me, trouble written all over her face. “In the interest of public safety, I’m officially dragging you to the gym. We need you to burn off some of that excess...tension.”
“No,” I say firmly. Well, as firmly as I can be in the face of Sofia’s scary resolve.
“Oh, yes,” Tess jumps in, already on board.
“Not me,” Kate says with a sly smile. “I get enough of a workout in the evenings with Gideon.”
“Dead pets, dead pets,” Tess chants, clapping her hands over her ears.
Sofia leans in, eyes sparkling with mischief. “We’ll see you at the gym, Kenz. Whether you walk in or we drag you.”
I laugh along with them, but deep down I know this isn’t about the gym. Not really. It’s about staying grounded when part of me wants to fall. About not letting a fake story start to feel like the truth. And asking myself how long I can pretend I’m not already in deeper than I meant to go.