Chapter 21 #2
The conversation went where it always did after a day like today. To the fights.
"Kalen," Carlton said, "is the finest fighter I have ever watched in an arena."
"She really was," Marie agreed. "I couldn't breathe during that last bout. I had Carlton's arm in a grip that I believe left marks."
"It did," Carlton confirmed with amusement.
"She fought well," Verna said with a pride she didn't bother trying to hide.
"And took an extraordinary amount of punishment in the meantime," Thom said. He was on his second cup and looking more comfortable than he had all day. "How is she?"
"Sore. I hope the emperor hasn’t anything too strenuous tomorrow for them."
"Surely not," said Marie. "Few of them will be able to walk properly."
"Pedro did well," Verna remarked, because it was true and because Thom needed to hear it said out loud by someone other than himself.
He looked up. "Third overall after that field."
"Very commendable," Carlton agreed. "He's a remarkable man."
Thom sat a little straighter. "He came from those pits and now look at him." He shook his head with the quiet satisfaction of someone who had made a good decision years ago and was still seeing the returns on it.
Carlton refilled the cups and the conversation loosened the way it did when good food and decent wine had been doing their work for an hour.
Marie talked about her son who had ridden to Castine as a spectator for the final day, arriving that afternoon full of excitement about the competition in the way of young men who had more enthusiasm than sense.
"He wanted to come to dinner," she said drily. "I told him this was a table for adults who were tired and needed quiet."
"How did he take that?" Thom asked.
"He went to find some other young men to be loud with," Marie said. "Which is exactly where he should be at twenty-three."
Everyone laughed.
The evening had the quality Verna had been hoping for, a restorative time to forget the stress and to allow themselves some down time. Tomorrow was the final day, presumably another round of competition for the champions, and then it would be over and they could all go home.
Thom put down his knife and fork. "What do you think tomorrow will bring?"
Carlton considered it. "A less physical trial for the champions would be my guess. Perhaps something like a horse race."
"Whatever it is," Thom said, leaning back in his chair, "the worst is behind us. The champions are too battered to do much. The emperor would know that." He picked up his wine. "As long as nothing wildly unexpected happens, we're all in a good position."
"Don't say that," Marie said.
"Why not? It's true."
"Because saying nothing wildly unexpected happens tomorrow is exactly the kind of thing that could happen," Marie said. "It's bad luck."
"You're superstitious," Carlton told her.
"The emperor has never been predictable," she replied.
Verna looked at her and said nothing.
The meal wound down naturally, the candles burning lower and the conversation slowing. When they said their goodbyes to their hosts, Carlton shook Thom's hand and kissed Verna's cheek. Marie held her hand to indicate her support.
Then it was just her and Thom, walking back to their inn.
"You're not going to marry me," he said suddenly as they were strolling through a small square with a pretty fountain.
It was a statement, not a question.
Verna glanced sideways at him. In the street light, he looked worn out. "No," she said quietly. "I'm not. I'm sorry, Thom."
He was still for a moment, not quite angry, just absorbing the finality of her reply. "Is there someone else?"
Verna remained silent.
"It's all right," he said. "You don't have to answer that."
"It's not that simple," she said. "There are things I've only recently understood about myself.
Things I perhaps always knew and chose not to look at directly.
" She met his eyes. "What I know for certain is that you deserve someone who wants you the way you should to be wanted.
Without reservation and without complication.
I can't give you that, and it would be wrong of me to pretend otherwise. "
He stopped walking to look at her. "I always knew. I just thought if I waited long enough." He hesitated then added. "I thought friendship might become something more, given time."
"I know," she said. "And I'm sorry I let that hope linger longer than I should have. That wasn't fair to you."
He looked at her steadily. "I do love you, Verna."
"I know you do, Thom," she said. "And I love you, but not in the way a wife should love her husband.
" She paused. "You're my oldest friend, and the closest thing to family I have outside those gates at home.
That matters to me more than I know how to say.
I'd rather keep that than lose it by marrying you and making us both miserable. "
He laughed, short and a little painful, but real. "The oldest friend," he said. "Right."
"Don't disappear on me," she said.
"I won't." He said as they reached the door of the inn. "Give me a little time."
"Take all you need."
He stood a few minutes later, kissed her cheek, and said goodnight, and she listened to his footsteps down the corridor until they were gone.
She opened the door of her room and thought about tomorrow. The final day. Another event for the champions, Carlton had said, something to settle the standings. Kalen led the field so the worst was behind them.
She changed into her nightgown and climbed into bed.