Chapter 30 #2
I take off running, praying to whatever saint will help me catch up to her. I’ve done something right because her car hits a red light one block ahead. I push myself harder, really needing to get back into long-distance running. My endurance sucks.
I reach the car, my hands landing hard on the window. I hear a scream from inside, but then the car takes off when the light turns green again.
Are you for fucking real right now?
Thank the heavens for heavier traffic tonight. The window rolls down as I’m running on the sidewalk parallel to the car. Sitting forward, Marina shouts, “What are you doing?”
“I didn’t say everything I needed to,” I huff, pumping my arms.
The car hits another red light. Thank God. I drop my hands to my knees, gasping for air.
She asks, “What more is there to say?”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for betraying your trust. I’m sorry for putting my fears of losing my career on your shoulders to carry. But most of all, I’m sorry for letting you walk out that door. That is the biggest regret I live with every day of my life. I should have fought for you.”
The car drives forward.
“Mother fuck.”
Her eyes never leave me until she’s too far to catch up to. I have no idea where she’s staying or if she has an apartment in the city now that she’s back. I could run another ten blocks and never see that car again.
She’s been given every green light in the city to get farther away from me. I should turn back, but I can’t.
Call it a second wind, but I feel the need to start running again.
I run, knowing I’ve lost her but can’t give up on us like I stupidly did before.
I run, passing cars and searching every black sedan in hopes it’s hers.
I run, my left side burning, the few nerve endings that survived the wreck ache.
I run until it makes no sense to keep going, but still do.
My feet slow as I approach a busy street.
A truck passing in front of me, and I imagine if I would have caught up to her, if this night would have played out differently.
Cars are streaming while I catch my breath.
I have to because I refuse to lose her again.
When only cars remain, I stand there staring at the other side.
Caught in the breeze of passing traffic, the face of an angel stares back at me. I stop running.
“Marina?”
The cars stop blocking the passage, so I move to the corner and cut through, rushing to reach her. Her chest rises with the deep breath she takes. I finally reach her and almost pull her into my arms. Almost, but I don’t. I ask, “Why are you here?”
“I was in the neighborhood.”
I laugh, and then it builds. My exhaustion hits my head, and I burst out chuckling. “Literally.”
“Why are you still running, Cash?”
Taking a step closer, I say, “Because I’m so in love with you that I can’t fucking think straight.
I’m begging for a second chance. You’re not just my soul, Marina.
You’re the part of me that didn’t exist before I tasted your kiss.
You’re the breath that feeds my lungs that I can’t survive without.
You’re more important than my career or any race. ”
She looks down and takes another heavy breath.
“I was so worried when you were in the accident. I thought I would have to live without you, and I didn’t think I would survive that.
” When she looks back up, she says, “Choosing to walk away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
But I’ve learned to stand on my own two feet.
” The doubt from her eyes earlier has now disappeared as she takes two steps forward, closing the gap.
“So tell me, what would you do differently if you got a second chance?”
“I’d love you every day like it’s the last, fully with my entire soul.”
Resting her head against my chest, she wraps her arms around me.
This is what heaven feels like. I secure mine around her, certain I’m never letting her go again.
I will never get enough of how she looks at me like I hung the moon for her.
“I trust you with my life, babe, but I also need you to safeguard my heart.”
“I will.” I kiss her head. “I promise.”
When she breaks our embrace, she asks, “How many blocks back to your place?”
“I might have to call a car.”
She starts laughing. “I feel like walking, or are you too tired?”
Cupping her face, I lean down and kiss her. I kiss her lips and her cheek, her forehead and the tip of her chin. “I’m never too tired for you.”
Her hands cover mine as she looks up at me. “Tell me you’re okay.”
The concern she has for me, the kindness she showed my son in protecting him on the worst day of my life will never be forgotten. “There’s some damage, but I’m healing. Eventually, I’ll be good as new.”
She kisses me, the pressure firm, her hands holding me to her as she needs the contact, and then she says, “I’m sorry it took so long for me to reply.”
I could list off a thousand times I wondered if I would ever hear from her again. It would be petty and take us backward instead of the direction we’re heading in now. “The time apart doesn’t matter. Only that we make use of the time together.”
She lifts to kiss me, then hugs me a little longer. I would stand here all night holding her tight on this street corner if that’s what she wants. But then she takes my hand, and we start walking. “I wasn’t happier without you,” she says.
“No?”
She bumps into me and laughs. “No. I’m just a good actress.”
“The best. Now tell me about you taking charge. Does that extend to the bedroom?”
“Guess you’re about to find out.”
I did three times.
Life is pretty damn perfect.