Chapter 16 The monster.
The monster.
“As we’ve established, humans are not meant to share DNA with creatures of legends.
One of the most surprising side effects of the Revival Project wasn’t the physical mutations, but the effect on the human psyche.
Some of the children developed what we called—for a lack of a better word—alter-egos.
One of my colleagues once brought the book Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde to the labs and joked that we created an army of little Hydes. I think about that often.”
ALASTAIR
My skin is buzzing for the rest of the drive. I kissed Stellan, and he came all over Perri’s hand when I did. It’s all the proof I needed to know he’s not indifferent to me. He even kissed me back—eagerly, I might add.
He’s mad about it, I can feel it. The air is charged in the truck. And Perri—bless him—is chattering to keep the awkwardness at bay.
The cab smells of the three of us, of sex, and it keeps me turned on. I don’t know if I want to escape it or fill my lungs and hold it in to the point of passing out.
I keep my eyes on the cracked road. The wastelands turn greener around us as we near the coast, the dust and yellow grass giving way to lush pastures. It rains more often by the North Pacific ocean.
Eventually, Perri quiets down and rests his head on my upper thigh and his legs on Stellan’s lap.
I let my right hand caress his soft hair as I drive, his braid is loose from the both of us pulling on it earlier.
Stellan absentmindedly rubs his calves while keeping his eyes on the landscape, carefully avoiding his wound. He’s healing nicely.
I really hope we’ll meet the man who shot him with a crossbow. I have a thing or two to say to him.
The heat is relentless outside, but I turned on the air-conditioning inside the cab. It’s a luxury I’m not letting go to waste. Very few survivors can boast of having ever experienced air-conditioning. It’s a comfort of the past.
It certainly doesn’t feel like we’re on winter’s doorstep.
Perri hums as I touch his neck and let my hand wander under the loose collar of his pink tank top.
His skin is warm and smooth, and I can never get enough of him.
I leave my hand on top of his left pec, his heartbeat under my palm.
It soothes me to feel it beating regularly.
I don’t need to switch gears on my truck, and so my hand stays where it is for the time being.
We reach the coast by late afternoon. I could smell the sea before seeing it, and the constant yearning in my bones intensified as we got closer.
“Perri, look,” Stellan says.
Perri sits up and gasps as he takes in the view of the ocean, the infinite expanse of salty water shining under the sun. “Wow.”
I chuckle. “Wow, indeed.” But I’m watching both of them instead. Their eyes are sparkling.
“It’s been a while since we actually saw the sea,” Perri says. “The Scylla-infested water of San Francisco bay doesn’t count. Can we find a spot by the ocean to spend the night? I’d love to take a swim.”
I nod. “Your wish is my command.”
We drive for another hour, leaving behind the small coastal towns and rusty signs, until the sun lowers on the horizon and we find the perfect spot near a cliff with a beach sheltered from the wind. My truck’s giant tires and four-wheel-drive let me take us to the sand, hidden away from view.
As soon as the truck has stopped, Perri jumps out and runs to the water, laughing as he takes his clothes off hurriedly and throws them on the sand. Stellan, more cautious, checks our surroundings for danger first.
“Are you coming?” he asks me at last.
My heart skips a beat as his lovely blue eyes land on me for an instant. It’s the first time he’s willingly looking at me since we kissed hours ago.
I shake my head regretfully. “No. I’ll stay here and keep watch. Have fun and be careful.”
He nods and joins Perri by the water. Desire sears a path through my body as both men get naked, their incredible bodies touched by the sunset. They’re both works of art. Perri, slim with delicate muscles, and Stellan, powerful and carved like a Greek god.
Perri waves at me before disappearing into the waves. When he emerges, he screams at the top of his lungs that the water is freezing. Climate change or not, the North Pacific ocean is still pretty cold this close to winter.
The pressure at the back of my skull intensifies. I always yearn for the sea, but seeing it from up close is another kind of torture. The monster in me wants to dive in the blue expanse and never come back. It’s safer if I don’t indulge.
I set up camp while keeping an eye on them. Perri’s sweet laugh echoes along the cliff as Stellan chases him underwater. I place the table and the camping wood-burning stove on the sand and start a fire with driftwood.
Eventually, I get distracted, and when I look up again, Perri is far away from the shore, his head barely visible above the water. I tense, and look for Stellan. I realize with horror that he’s even farther away at sea. He’s getting taken by the current.
Urgency takes a hold of me and I walk to the waves without hesitation and dive with all my clothes on. The sea’s embrace welcomes me like an old friend, and the monster in me stirs. The water is warmer than the river, and the salt wakes my tastebuds.
This is it… this is what I was made for…
My thoughts scatter, and I struggle to keep my wits. But one thing stays true: protect.
I reach Perri in record time.
“Damn, you’re fast,” he says as I startle him.
“Is Stellan okay?” I ask, looking for his head above water in the distance.
Perri hesitates for a moment, then says, “Oh no, he might be in danger. You should get him. Hurry.”
Panic rises like a wave. “Can you swim back?”
“Yes, no problem. I’ll be on the beach waiting for you.” He winks.
I dive once again.
I spent my life in the wastelands, and yet never needed to be taught how to swim. It came naturally to me, like breathing air or walking. The monster side of me is now fully awake, dangerous and restless. All my attention is focused on the task of saving Stellan.
I swim faster than I ever did, reaching him at sea in the matter of a minute, aided by the current. I emerge from the depths.
He curses. “Jesus, you scared me. Where did you come from?”
“I’ll bring you back to shore. Hold on to me,” I say.
He frowns. “What? Why? I can swim.”
I grit my teeth. “Hold on to me.”
He swims away from me, annoyed. “I’m fine. I’m a grown man, I can swim.”
True to his words, he’s already pushing against the current towards the shore. I might have misread the situation, and Perri set me up. Stellan’s fine.
As he puts distance between us, I’m left staring at the back of his head, his blonde hair appearing darker than it is when wet. Behind us, the sun is slowly being swallowed by the horizon. Perri stands on the beach, waiting for us.
I let myself sink below the waves. My bone density is heavier than normal humans, and I sink faster.
The monster is never satisfied. It wants to dwell at the bottom of the sea, where the sun doesn’t shine.
I can’t breathe underwater, but I can hold my breath for a very long time.
It would be too easy to let the current take me far away from my mortal concerns.
But my human side resists the monster. My mates are waiting for me on the shore.
I startle.
Mates? Who is thinking this, my human side or the monster?
Both, it seems. Both sides of me love Perri and desire Stellan. Even if Stellan likes to pretend he wants nothing to do with me.
I still feel the urge to protect, mate, possess, claim…
The monster is taking over. The need to chase Stellan is stronger than the need to let the sea take me.
I swim to shore and reach Stellan just as he’s walking out of the waves.
He hears me and looks over his shoulder.
He instinctively takes off running. It only spurs me on.
I catch him on the beach and we both fall on the wet sand as I tackle him.
My vision and sense of smell have narrowed, and all I see and feel is him.
He’s on his hands and knees, gasping, as my larger body cages him.
He tries to elbow me, smelling of fear, but I dodge his attack.
The monster makes me sink my teeth in the muscle between his neck and shoulder to hold him in place.
I’m not piercing skin, but I’ve got a good hold of him.
Stellan freezes, as if answering a primal need to submit.
“Fuck… Alastair… you…” he gasps.
He’s naked—he took all of his clothes to swim—and I touch and grab all the parts of his body I can reach. I’m fully clothed but my erection is rubbing on his bare ass through the wet fabric of my pants. My tentacles are searching for a way out of their confinement to grab him.
I feel unhinged.
Perri has joined us on the sand. He’s saying something, but I can’t hear him over the loud beating of my heart. I want to grab him, too, but he’s out of reach.
I’ve got Stellan right here. He’s mine… I’m not letting him go…
“Alastair…” Stellan whispers.
His voice reaches the human part of my brain, and I finally unclench my jaw. My teeth left crescents on his skin. I lick them, pleased to have left marks. Then I manhandle him until he lands on his back on the wet sand.
He still smells like fear, but under it, arousal. He’s hard, his cock pointing to his sand-covered abs. I surge forward to capture his mouth and devour him whole. Stellan is tense, still resisting.
Eventually, when I let his lips go to focus on the rest of his body, he whispers, “Wait—Alastair…”
His plea finally goes through my lizard brain to reach my human consciousness.
This isn’t okay, I realize. None of this is okay. I’m forcing myself on him. I let the monster take over.
My head finally clears long enough to fight the monster back.
“Shit. I’m sorry,” I say, scrambling away from him.
Stellan watches me, dazed. He’s wet and covered in sand, his cock erect.
Perri stands behind him and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Alastair, you—”
“Go,” I growl. “Now.”
Stellan jerks away from his daze and gets to his feet. I close my eyes not to watch him walk away—it might trigger my monster to see his prey escape.
It has been months since I felt it take over.
Growing up, I had to learn how to keep my monster on a leash.
It was always lurking under the surface, waiting for a chance to come out to the light and wreak havoc.
It’s the reason why I was often referred to as the founders’ mad dog.
Violence came easy to me. The monster craves dominance, just like the Kraken who was known to be the bane of humanity since he emerged from the Mariana Trench.
I sit on the sand, regrets clinging to my skin like my wet clothes as I try not to watch Perri and Stellan walk back to the truck.