Chapter 11 #2
‘That’s not always a bad thing.’
She stood to one side.
‘It’s fine. I can just get back in the car and wait for her and Tasha to sort themselves out.’
Let him do that, Jules. You can go and have a nice, relaxing shower and a quiet day.
‘She’s bound to ask you what you think of the cottage. What are you going to say?’
‘Something ambiguous,’ he replied with a rueful smile.
‘I don’t really know Erin, but I’m not sure she’ll settle for that. You’d better come in and at least have a quick look around.’
It’ll only take about two minutes, she thought to herself, and then I’ll have the place to myself again.
‘Thank you,’ he said, slipping off his loafers as he crossed into the hall.
‘My wife had a soft spot for this house. She liked to come and have tea at the gardens and then we’d walk around the village.
When she got too weak to walk, I used to drive her in the car.
She always asked me to stop outside Hideaway Cottage, said that just looking at it made her feel less afraid for the future. ’
He looked around before turning back to Jules.
‘If she’d come inside, I think she’d have felt that even more. It has a lovely atmosphere in here, heavy, but not in an oppressive way. It’s comforting.’
His eyes fell on the flowers in the middle of the table.
‘Nice vase, too,’ he said, his eyes twinkling.
Of course. It was one of his. How had she not noticed that?
How had she not noticed that the clock was losing time and that her dressing gown had a splodge of egg right on the front?
Suddenly she was aware of everything in sharp relief, the slight stubble on his chin, the way his hands were never still, the story of a life lived across his whole face.
Embarrassed, she swivelled and headed through to the sitting room.
‘Mind your…’
There was a sickening thud as Lance’s head met the solid wooden lintel over the door to the sitting room.
‘Ouch!’ she said, as he reeled backwards slightly and swayed on the spot. ‘Are you all right?’
He rubbed his forehead and looked at his hand as if expecting to see blood.
‘Yes. Fine. I think.’
‘I’m so sorry. I should have warned you.’
‘No, no, my fault,’ he protested, blinking hard as if he couldn’t focus properly.
‘It felt as if I tripped over something, but there isn’t anything there.
Must have got tangled up with my own feet.
They are pretty big! You’ll think this is stupid, but I sometimes forget how tall I am.
My parents are both normal height so they’re not sure where my giraffe-like features come from. ’
‘You’d better come and sit down,’ Jules said. ‘You could be concussed.’
She put the box containing her pot down on the coffee table, went to take his elbow and then thought better of it.
‘Can you make it through to the kitchen?’
‘Yes, yes, honestly, I’m fine.’
He was still holding his head as she pulled out a chair from the table. As he folded himself down it reminded her of a concertina.
‘You have gone pale. The whole cottage shook.’
‘I did see stars for a moment,’ he said.
Jules looked at him anxiously.
‘How many fingers?’ she said, waving her hand in front of his face.
‘Three.’ He grinned. ‘You really don’t have to worry.’
‘Except there were only two.’
‘I know that. Just joking.’
‘That’s mean.’
‘Sorry.’
‘You have cut the skin slightly and I can see it’s coming up in a bump. I think it ought to be bathed, and I’ve got a small first aid kit with some antiseptic ointment. Give me a moment.’
She filled a bowl with some warm water and pulled a piece of cotton wool from a small roll.
Go into nurse mode, she instructed herself, but her hands were shaking as she approached him.
He sat very still as she bathed the wound, his fingers tapping gently just above his knees almost as if he was playing the piano.
She squeezed some ointment from the tube.
‘This might sting a little,’ she said.
He winced slightly as she applied it.
‘Do I need a bandage?’ he asked as she stepped away, ridiculously relieved that they no longer had to be in such close proximity.
‘Not unless you’re really going for the sympathy vote,’ she replied. ‘I could put a plaster over it, but I don’t think it will stay on.’
He checked his watch and Jules thought, not for the first time, what nice wrists he had.
‘Thank you for tending to my wounds. I’d better head off and get the girls.’
‘I think you need to sit for a bit longer. Tea is the answer. With sugar. Erin knows where you are.’
She filled the kettle and got out two mugs.
‘You look very at home here,’ he said as she put the milk jug and sugar bowl on the table.
She paused and looked around and it was as if his words had connected her to something bigger than herself.
‘I love this room. I love the whole house. It almost feels as if it could be mine. Carrie said she felt like that when she stayed here. It’s as though the house is giving itself to you.
’ She shook herself and blushed. ‘That sounds ridiculous and not like me at all. It does that to you as well, makes you think surreal thoughts. Tasha says it’s the ghosts.
Her theory is that if they like you, you’re made to feel so welcome that you almost forget the house isn’t yours. ’
She poured him some tea and passed the milk and sugar.
‘Of course, I don’t believe in that sort of thing. Once you’re gone, you’re gone.’
She put a hand to her mouth.
‘Obviously not everyone believes that. I mean, if you’ve lost someone it’s comforting to believe that…’
She was digging herself a massive great hole. Perhaps if she was lucky, it would swallow her up.
Lance looked up from beneath thick lashes.
‘Thank you for taking Tasha under your wing. She doesn’t have the easiest of times at home.’
He was so gracious, she thought, changing the conversation like that.
‘Growing up can be difficult at the best of times.’
He nodded, adding a splash of milk and two heaped spoonfuls of sugar to his tea, then stirred it vigorously before taking a gulp which made his cheeks turn slightly pink.
‘I worry all the time whether I’m getting it right with Erin and Fitz. If Sarah would have done it differently. Not having a mother is… indescribable. I sometimes wonder if it would have been better if it had been me who died.’
He stared into his tea, and she sat down at the opposite end of the table.
‘For what it’s worth, losing your father is pretty indescribable, too. You can only do what you can do, as my granny says.’
He looked across at her, his eyes full of gratitude, and she threw him a very small smile.
‘Dad, what on earth have you done? I only left you for a few minutes.’
Erin was looking over the top of the stable door with Tasha hovering behind her.
‘It’s just a small knock. You’re back quickly,’ Lance said.
‘For the first time ever, Tasha was ready and waiting.’
‘Your father bumped his head quite hard on the lintel above the sitting room door,’ Jules explained.
‘We didn’t even get upstairs,’ Lance said.
Erin and Tasha exchanged glances and stifled giggles.
Lance turned even more pink.
‘Sorry, Jules, they can be a bit immature sometimes. Come on, girls, time to go and leave Jules in peace.’
He stood up and seemed to sway slightly.
‘Are you sure you’re all right to drive?’ Jules asked. ‘I can take you home and walk back.’
‘We’re not going home. We’re going to Carisbrooke Castle for the day. It’s something I do with the girls every summer and Fitz, too, if he’s around. I’ll be fine.’
Jules frowned.
‘I’m not sure you will be.’
‘Why don’t you come with us, Jules?’ Erin was standing right next to her. ‘It’s a brilliant day out.’
‘Oh, that’s really kind, but… I don’t think… what I mean is… I’m not sure I’m ready for… maybe another time.’
‘Oh, Jules, please come!’
Imperceptibly Tasha had also moved across the floor and was now standing on her other side.
‘It’ll be fun to have an extra person.’ She wrinkled up her nose at Lance. ‘No offence.’
‘None taken.’
Jules felt her heart beginning to race.
‘Please, please, please,’ Tasha begged. ‘You said you liked history and it’s an amazing place. Charles I was imprisoned there, and you can walk the ramparts and there are various exhibitions. There’s a lovely little chapel, too, if you like that sort of thing.’
She was being backed into a corner here.
‘Tasha, I’m perfectly okay to drive and Jules has got better things to do with her day,’ Lance said firmly.
He didn’t want her there either, she thought. It would be awkward.
‘Like brooding,’ Tasha said pointedly.
Jules felt tears spring to her eyes and prayed they wouldn’t pool over, or her mouth wouldn’t twist into that tight little fist shape which made it so obvious that she was about to cry.
‘There’s nothing wrong with a bit of brooding,’ Lance interjected.
‘That’s not what you say to me normally,’ Tasha replied.
‘Nor me,’ Erin butted in. ‘You don’t have to stick with us all the time, Jules.
You don’t even have to be Dad’s full-time carer.
You can go off and explore on your own. We can just meet up for the picnic.
I’ve made sausage rolls and Dad will tell you that I make the best sausage rolls, not just on the island or in the British Isles, but in the whole world. ’
Jules glanced at Lance. He was as compromised as she was.
He lifted his hands in capitulation.
‘It is true, I’m afraid. One day I’m convinced she’ll be a champion sausage roll producer.’
‘And Granny and I have made lavender iced cupcakes,’ Tasha added.
Jules dabbed at her eyes as surreptitiously as she could.
‘It seems I can’t say no,’ she said.
‘You can always get a taxi home if we prove to be a bit too much,’ Lance offered. ‘There’s just one thing, though, if you’re going to come with us.’
‘What’s that?’ she asked.
‘You might want to get dressed!’