Chapter 9 #3
“I’m looking at you like this because I think I get it, now.”
“Get what?”
“You’re scared to step out of the lines again,” Darcy voiced, her eyes tracing over Juliet’s face.
God, it just made everything click into place for her. At least, everything about their blow-out earlier today at the studio.
Juliet’s expression immediately shuttered, completely unreadable. “What do you even think you’re talking about?”
“Your albums, the ones where you attempted to do something different than what people expected, got totally panned. I mean, Echoes…” She trailed off, blowing out a deep breath as she winced.
In an instant, Juliet was back to glaring at her. “Thank you for that reminder. You love bringing that up, huh?”
Darcy rolled her eyes. “I’m only saying it this time because – that’s why, right?” She pushed. “That’s why you’re so afraid to take any bigger swings with ‘Porchlight.’”
It really made so much sense; Darcy was kicking herself for not seeing it earlier. The moment Darcy had started to push at the boundaries of what the existing song was, Juliet hadn’t so much as gotten mad as she’d gotten… sharp. She’d immediately shut down.
“Fine.” Juliet’s voice was tight. “You’d rather not do ‘Porchlight’ if it means we put out the carbon copy version of Shelby’s? I’d rather not do it if it means I get raked across the coals again for doing something I have no business doing.”
She has no business going there. Darcy could remember that review from Echoes, where Juliet had been heavily critiqued for stepping out of being strictly-country.
No excuse for her attitude, but at least Darcy could understand now.
And in that understanding, she felt a little… softer. Enough, at the very least, to make this a real conversation.
“Having this puritanical creative integrity thing you have isn’t necessarily going to get you very far. Just so you know,” Juliet volleyed at her, but didn’t sound like she was lecturing Darcy.
It sounded, actually, like she was trying to give her a caution.
On instinct, she wanted to disagree. That she didn’t have “puritanical creative integrity.” Darcy was accepting of criticism, she was willing to pivot, to make changes.
However, she wasn’t willing to change certain fundamental parts of her songs. There were some things, the things that she could feel in her gut were the best parts that she had to stand her ground on.
“And maybe you’re right.” Which was her nightmare. That she’d wake up and this would all be over. “But… the one thing that feels worse to me, like right here?”
She brought her hand up, pressing her hand against her chest, between her breasts, feeling her heart beating under her fingertips.
Juliet followed her movement, staring at her chest for a beat, before she took a sip of her water and looked back at Darcy’s face.
“Is that I’ll be someone who puts out music that I don’t think is the best it could be. Changing something that I know could be amazing to appease anyone else…” She shook her head in vehement disagreement with the very idea, everything inside of her rallying against it.
“You’d rather go back to working at your bowling alley?” Juliet asked, and Darcy couldn’t tell from her tone if she was amused or if she was mocking or if she was actually just baffled.
Regardless, she answered honestly, “Yeah. I guess I would.”
This time, it was Darcy who turned to cast her attention out over the city.
Taking in the nightlife below them, around them.
Maybe Darcy having such strong opinions and being unwilling to compromise on her music morals could lead to a downfall one day.
But on the flip side, it had gotten her this far, hadn’t it?
“I mean… wouldn’t you rather take a swing and strike out, than do something people forget about?”
“I detest sports metaphors. If we’re working together, please refrain.”
Darcy breathed out a laugh.
“And – no. I just earned back people’s trust in my music with Whiskey and White Lace.
I don’t want to throw it away, especially on a cover.
” Juliet leaned in, garnering Darcy’s full attention from a foot away.
“Trust me, because I’m saying this from a genuine place: you don’t want to throw away the credibility you’re building right now, either. ”
“No, I don’t,” she agreed. “But I really don’t believe my credibility comes from shutting up and doing what I’m told.”
If she’d done that, she would have given up long before she’d ever made it here.
She could tell that they were swiftly heading to another stand-off, and the thought hit her: “What if I told you that my favorite album of yours is Echoes?”
She watched closely as Juliet took that in. The way her eyebrows furrowed, then she frowned, then the way she scoffed, and narrowed her eyes at Darcy.
“I’d tell you not to lie right to my face. No one’s favorite album of mine is Echoes.”
“Mine is,” Darcy doubled-down, gently kicking her foot out and nudging Juliet’s under the table. Making the slightest connection physically, hoping it could help Juliet really understand that Darcy meant what she was saying.
It had felt right, but then she immediately questioned it. Juliet could still want to cut Darcy’s appendages off if she approached in the wrong way.
Juliet didn’t move away or kick Darcy’s foot. But she did shoot Darcy a very unimpressed look.
“Buttering me up with a lie is a really shitty thing to do to try to get your way.”
Darcy decided to take a risk. She reached across the table before she could second-guess herself and caught Juliet’s hand in hers. Juliet’s fist was still lightly curled, but Darcy took it between both of her hands.
She could feel the calluses on Juliet’s finger from playing guitar, the same as Darcy’s own, such a contrast from the rest of her ridiculously soft skin.
Juliet’s hand froze against hers, and Darcy decided to gently, encouragingly, squeeze as soon as Juliet didn’t slap at her.
“I’m not buttering you up,” she promised. “And I’m not lying. I’m serious.”
Juliet’s dark eyes were still narrowed as they bored into Darcy’s. Searching. Like she was waiting for the second Darcy was going to turn on her and say gotcha. But it wasn’t going to happen.
“Quite frankly, if you’re being honest, I’m going to have to believe you don’t have as good of an ear as you think you do.”
Juliet had clearly been going for an acerbic comment, but… it didn’t quite land. Mostly because Darcy could feel the slightest twitch in her fingers, sandwiched between Darcy’s still, and she heard the quiet waver in Juliet’s voice before it firmed up.
Which encouraged Darcy to continue. “You know what Echoes sounded like to me?”
“I’m afraid to ask,” she dourly responded.
“I thought it sounded like you wanted to try something a little different. And you hit the right notes so many times, but…” Darcy’s lips drew into a small, thoughtful pout.
“I don’t know. It sounded like you had all of the right elements but couldn’t pull everything as tightly together.
Like you had everything teed up, but things didn’t fall quite into place the way you knew it could when you concepted the album. ”
Juliet was clearly biting at her inner cheek, her expression drawn tight. “Wow. If this is how you talk about your favorite album of mine, I’d be terrified to hear how you talk about your least favorite.”
She pressed, “I loved that you did something new. And you sounded fucking good. So, yeah, maybe everything didn’t land perfectly. But… you really had your grasp on something, on a new sound, and it wasn’t bad. You shouldn’t be afraid of it.”
“Tell that to everyone else.”
“Deal,” she agreed, eagerly.
That stopped Juliet up, as she blinked at Darcy a couple of times. “Yeah? You’re going to walk around and sing the praises of my most panned album?”
“If it means you’re willing to listen to my ideas for ‘Porchlight’ then, hell yes.”
If this was the thing that could also be the peacemaker between them? Double yes.
“You’re… ridiculous.” But there was none of that heat that Darcy was now well used to in Juliet’s voice.
Juliet’s eyes fell to the table, where Darcy was still holding her hand. She felt Juliet’s fingers twitch slightly under hers once more, and she gently squeezed before Juliet pulled away.
“I’m not being ridiculous, I’m being serious,” she corrected.
“If I agree to listen to your ideas, you’ll seriously go forth and tell the world how much you love my terrible album,” Juliet summarized, seeming both amused and possibly even concerned for Darcy’s sanity.
“Yes. Also, it’s not terrible.”
People might judge Darcy for loving Echoes, that was true. But she hadn’t been lying, and she didn’t think she needed to hide something as inconsequential as her favorite album.
“I’m not agreeing to your ideas, for the record,” Juliet stipulated, firmly. “That’s not what this is. I’m literally only agreeing to hear you out.”
“And to give me an actual open mind.”
Juliet’s lips curled into a small smile as her eyes narrowed slightly, and the look was almost… dangerous? Something about it made Darcy’s stomach dip low, especially when Juliet offered her hand. This time for a formal shake.
“Fine. Deal.”
Darcy eyed that offered hand, narrowing her own eyes back as she slid her palm against Juliet’s.
“You have to really be open to my ideas, though.” She tightened her grasp, leaning in a little over the small table, because she’d noticed how Juliet seemed taken aback when Darcy entered her personal space.
She liked when Juliet wasn’t perfectly on her game.
“And I will be able to tell,” she whispered.
Juliet’s lips parted slightly, audibly inhaling. But she didn’t lean back, didn’t put more space between them.
Instead, she angled her chin up, taking another inch of space from the air between them. “Okay, Darcy Kincaid. Time to get your notebook out and impress me.”