Chapter 28 #2
“Darcy, I… this isn’t really a precedented situation for me, either. My rules of engagement are there because it gives me some control.” Juliet took in a deep, shaky breath, before she admitted, “I don’t really have a lot of that in my life. Control.”
Juliet’s voice was so hoarse, so tremulous, it was totally at-odds with what Juliet actually said.
She reeled back, incredulity shooting through her. “Juliet, you are the most in-control person I know. You have no problem controlling a room.”
“But no control where it fucking counts!” The words burst from Juliet’s lips, very clearly out of her control.
Darcy startled, not understanding what Juliet meant by that. Where it counts?
Juliet licked her lips, shaking her head as she dropped her eyes from Darcy’s. Almost like she couldn’t bring herself to look at Darcy when she started to speak.
“When my mom married Harrison…” She narrowed her eyes to a sharp glare down at the bench. “We both thought that all of the struggles, the times I was singing for our supper quite literally, the hiding from bill collectors… we thought it was over. And that part of it was.”
Darcy felt her mouth fall open, rocked by that revelation.
Yes, Harrison was Juliet’s stepdad, so obviously he’d married her mother when she’d been a child.
But… but nothing else Juliet said was public information.
Nothing else Juliet said had ever made it into interviews or biography information on any website.
But she knew Juliet was being honest, because she seemed so… uncertain about how to speak this part of her life story into existence.
“I didn’t know that,” she stated the obvious, unable not to.
Juliet’s smile was tight, as she flashed it back to Darcy. “Yeah, well, it’s not part of the Juliet Jacobs image. Because I wasn’t Juliet Jacobs, then; I was still Juliet Duncan. But it was decided from day one that we would both be taking Harrison’s name. Juliet Jacobs is good for marketability.”
There was such a sharpness, a pulsing anger in Juliet’s tone, Darcy was taken aback by the volatility. It was unlike anything she’d heard, including Juliet’s most snarky comments ever made about her.
“My mom met Harrison at his Christmas at the Ranch festival. I’d won a spot on the stage early in the day as a reward for coming in second in Little Miss San Antonio.
” Juliet flattened her lips as she looked blankly out over Darcy’s shoulder, like she was picturing it in her mind.
“It was a quick romance. He and my mom got married in less than a year. He had me in music lessons immediately.” She dragged her gaze back to Darcy’s, scoffing, “I thought… you know, I thought it was the dream.”
“Yeah, I would have, too.” Darcy couldn’t help herself from reaching out. Tentatively, unsure if Juliet would actually want her touch right now.
Her hands landed on Juliet’s knees, rubbing gently against her soft, bare skin revealed by her pajamas shorts. She’d missed feeling Juliet like this. God, she really had.
Juliet shook her head, the bitterness painted into her expression.
“Maybe in some ways it was.” She shrugged, the movement sharp and jerky.
“But… my mom wasn’t mine anymore. She was Harrison’s wife, first, forever from there on out.
And all of my energy – I mean all of it – had to be dedicated to music.
And you know what? For years, I didn’t care.
I wanted it so badly, I didn’t realize…”
She trailed off, and Darcy could see how thickly she swallowed.
“I didn’t realize until it was already done that I’d become one of Harrison’s business investments. And I didn’t realize for even longer after that, that had been his plan for me the whole damn time. Probably since he saw me perform at the festival. If nothing else, he’s a great businessman.”
Darcy flexed her fingers against Juliet’s thighs, the sympathy working through her. “Juliet–”
But Juliet cut her off, “I realize it probably sounds stupid to you. Because you… you did it your way. You didn’t give in to people who pressured you, who wanted you to be anything else.”
No, she hadn’t. But she also hadn’t been seventeen with the world offered to her on a silver platter. If she had, there was no telling what she’d have agreed to at that point in time.
“And I hate it. I hate having to perform at Harrison’s personal events. I hate promoting his deals. But I was so desperate to make it that I’d have signed just about anything. So, I did. I signed a contract tying me to Harrison and to the whims of Copper Canyon for five albums.”
Passing Notes, Backyard Stars, Echoes, Whiskey and White Lace… Darcy listed them in her mind, searching Juliet’s gaze with her own. “So, one more to go?”
Juliet’s breath shuddered out of her, as she tightly closed her eyes. “One more to go.”
Darcy let that settle, let Juliet take a moment to gather herself, a moment she clearly needed, as she sat statue-still, her jaw clenched tightly.
But she didn’t pull away from Darcy’s touch, so she gently rubbed her thumbs in circles over her soft skin. Hoping, maybe, that she was offering some sort of comfort.
Finally, Juliet opened her eyes, and murmured, “And that’s why I have my rules.
No, coming out wouldn’t necessarily be wise for us, with our demographic, in our genre.
” Juliet waved her hand in the air, far more dismissive than Darcy could have ever imagined from her when talking about even the hypothetical idea of coming out publicly. “But I literally can’t.”
There it was, that desperation etched into that single word.
Juliet stared intently at Darcy, as she explained, “I was technically still a teenager when I signed with the label, so Copper Canyon put a morality clause in my contract. That my reputation has to be bright and shiny. And definitely not queer.”
Darcy reeled back, surprise and insult filtering through her. “What? That – that can’t be legal.” No one could tell someone, legally, whether or not they could be queer?! “They can’t–”
“They can, and it is. Unfortunately.” Juliet’s tone was flat, and it made sense, Darcy supposed, because she was sure Juliet had run every gamut of emotion when it came to this. It was her life, after all.
But Darcy felt so keyed up, itching to – to do something. It just wasn’t right. Juliet was a whole, grown, successful person!
“You’re a twenty-six-year-old woman.” The words fell from her lips, sounding just as agitated as she felt. “What does that even mean? How can your sexuality even be against a morality clause? How does that even make sense?”
Juliet’s expression was almost amused and was far softer than Darcy imagined it would be, given this topic of conversation. “While I appreciate your outrage, we both know how.”
Darcy didn’t even – she didn’t know where to take her outrage and her frustration and her…
her sadness, especially for a teenage Juliet.
Someone who’d signed away years of her life, thinking she was being promised the moon.
Because her stepdad – and likely her mom, it seemed – told her she was, indeed, receiving the moon and a few extra stars, too.
It made her heart hurt, and it made her understand that desperation she sensed inside of Juliet from time to time. The desperation that she’d never been able to really understand, when it seemed like Juliet really had it all, and always had.
“Even if that’s in your contract to Copper Canyon, can’t you at least tell Harrison to screw off?” Darcy didn’t know if she was grasping at straws, but she couldn’t help but jump into problem-solving mode. Couldn’t there be something? “He doesn’t work for the label.”
Juliet’s expression pinched tightly. “I signed a contract with him, too.”
“Your stepdad made you sign a contract with him?” She already knew Harrison wasn’t, like, some good guy. But… jesus. It was enough to make Darcy feel almost glad both of her parents had totally fucked off; at least she didn’t owe them anything.
Juliet smiled at her, ice cold. “Legally binding. Trust me, I’ve had it looked over multiple times.”
“Could you… I don’t know, couldn’t you break it? You’re a success all on your own.” Darcy gestured around them. “Can’t we… I don’t know, appeal it?”
“We?” Juliet echoed back, her lips curling into a coy little smile.
Darcy felt herself flush but shrugged. So, she was passionate, and she was on Juliet’s side, and she just... wanted… to support her.
“There has to be some way,” she pressed, shaking her head. “It can’t be legal for him to be able to say jump, and you have to answer how high.”
The very idea of it made her shudder in disgust, made her lip curl down with anger. She had no idea how Juliet had done it, because just as she knew the sun would rise in the morning, she knew that she’d have lost her fucking mind in Juliet’s situation.
Juliet’s lips were pursed before she firmly stated, “No. I can’t.”
“Even though you have your own money, now?” She couldn’t help but press, feeling this edge of desperation for Juliet.
Juliet’s big, dark eyes focused on her, but thankfully she didn’t look angry or annoyed at Darcy’s insistence. She looked… appreciative? But coloring everything was an air of defeat. Acceptance that she’d obviously spent years trying to make peace about.
Juliet reached for Darcy’s notebook and pen. “Can I?”
She lifted her hands in deference; she’d probably give Juliet just about anything right now.
“I need you to know that even though it might sound like I’m impugning you, I’m really not,” Juliet started, shooting Darcy an imploring stare.
“Okay…?”
With Darcy’s verbal buy-in, Juliet nodded and turned her attention toward the notebook.
She lightly tapped on the page. “Respectfully, Darcy, I really don’t think you could wrap your mind around the kind of wealth Harrison has.
Again, it’s not an insult at you; most people can’t realistically fathom this kind of money. ”