Chapter 25 #2
Magnus was demonstrating a defensive block when he heard it. A voice, slightly too loud, carrying across the yard.
"She looks good when she fights. Look at the way she moves."
Everything in Magnus went still. Cold.
He turned slowly, found the speaker. A young soldier, barely twenty, grinning at his companions like he'd said something clever.
The training yard went quiet. Every man there suddenly very aware they'd just witnessed something dangerous.
Magnus's voice, when it came, was barely above a growl. "What did ye say?"
The soldier's grin faltered. "I just meant—me laird, I was only sayin'—"
"I heard what ye said." Magnus took a step toward him.
Saw the man pale, saw him realize his mistake.
"Ye'll keep yer comments about me wife tae yerself.
All of ye." His gaze swept the assembled men.
"She's nae here fer yer entertainment. She's nae here fer ye to ogle and make remarks about. Am I understood?"
"Aye, me laird," came the murmured response.
"Good. Now get out. All of ye. Training's done fer the day."
The men scattered quickly, the young soldier practically running in his haste to escape. Within moments, the training yard was empty except for Magnus and Ada.
Ada stared at him, eyes wide. "Magnus, ye dinnae have tae—"
"Aye, I did." He turned to her, still wound tight with possessive fury. "They dinnae get tae look at ye like that. Dinnae get tae talk about ye like that."
"They were just bein' supportive."
"They were lookin' at what's mine." The words came out more territorial than Magnus intended. "And I dinnae share."
Something shifted in Ada's expression. Not fear. Not anger. Something else entirely.
"Yers?" she asked softly.
Magnus realized what he'd said. How it sounded. But he didn't take it back.
"Aye. Mine." He closed the distance between them. "Me wife. Me responsibility tae protect. Mine tae defend and care fer and—" He stopped, jaw clenched.
"And what?" Ada pressed.
"And I'll nae have other men speakin' about ye like ye're anythin' less than what ye are."
Ada's lips curved slightly. "Ye're jealous."
"I'm nae jealous, I'm—" Magnus stopped. Exhaled roughly. "Aye. Fine. I'm jealous. Is that what ye wanted tae hear?"
"A bit, aye." Her smile widened despite the bruise. "I like that ye're possessive of me. That ye sent them all away because ye dinnae want them watchin' me."
"It's nae funny, Ada."
"I'm nae laughin'." But her eyes danced with amusement. With something deeper. "I like kennin’ ye care enough tae be jealous. That ye think of me as yers."
Magnus groaned. "Ye're goin' tae be the death of me, woman."
"Maybe. But at least ye'll die happy." Ada's hand came up to rest against his chest. "Magnus, there's somethin' I need tae talk tae ye about."
His body tensed. "What is it?"
"Can we go somewhere more private? I dinnae want tae have this conversation where anyone might overhear."
Magnus nodded, took her hand. Led her away from the training yard toward a small garden tucked between the outer wall and the keep. It was secluded, quiet, with high hedges that blocked them from view.
"What's this about?" he asked when they were alone.
Ada was quiet for a long moment, her hand still in his. When she spoke, her voice was soft. Uncertain.
"I need tae ask ye about yer first wife."
Magnus went rigid. Every muscle in his body locking down. "Ada—"
"Please. Just listen." She squeezed his hand. "I ken ye dinnae like talkin' about it. I ken it hurts. But I need tae understand what happened. Tae ken why ye pull away every time we get close. Why ye cannae seem tae trust me even when I've given ye nay reason tae doubt."
"It's nae about trustin' ye—"
"Then what is it about?" Ada's eyes searched his face. "Because I'm tryin', Magnus. I'm tryin' so hard tae be patient. But I dinnae ken how much longer I can keep waitin' fer ye tae let me in."
Magnus looked away, his jaw working. Every instinct screamed at him to shut this down. To refuse. To keep that part of his past buried where it couldn't hurt him anymore.
But Ada deserved better than that. Deserved the truth, even if it destroyed whatever fragile thing was building between them.
"All right," he said finally. "I'll tell ye. But dinnae say I didnae warn ye. It's nae a pretty story."
"I dinnae need pretty. I just need honest."
Magnus took a breath. Released it slowly. And began.
"Freydis was me wife for three years. We married fer alliance, same as ye and I did.
Her faither was a powerful jarl, controlled trade routes I needed access tae.
" His voice was flat, emotionless. Like he was reporting facts rather than reliving pain.
"At first, it was fine. We got along well enough.
She was clever, beautiful. Good at managin' the household.
I thought maybe we could build somethin' real taegether. "
"What changed?"
"She got pregnant. A little more than two years into the marriage." Magnus's hands curled into fists. "I was happy about it. Thought maybe a child would bring us closer. But she—" He stopped. "She wasnae happy. Started actin' strange. Distant. Would flinch when I touched her."
Ada's hand tightened on his.
"I thought it was just the pregnancy. That she was sick or scared or somethin'.
So I gave her space. Tried tae be patient.
" Magnus's voice grew rougher. "Then one night, while I was in me study, she went intae labor.
When I found out, I sent fer Mairi but it was too late.
The baby—" He swallowed hard. "The baby was born dead. Too early tae have any chance."
"Magnus, I'm so sorry."
"That's nae the worst of it." He finally looked at her, and Ada saw the devastation in his eyes.
The kind that never fully healed. "She was nae well at all after the birth and Mairi couldnae dae anythin’ fer her either.
Right before she died, Freydis looked at me and told me the truth.
Said the baby wasnae mine. That she'd been with another man.
That she'd lied tae me fer months, let me believe I was goin' tae be a faither when the child was never mine at all. "
Ada's breath caught.
"She died minutes later. Never told me who the faither was. Never explained why she did it. Just left me with that truth and naethin' else." Magnus's voice was hollow.
Silence stretched between them. Ada's eyes were bright with tears, her hand still clutching his like a lifeline.
"She broke yer trust so completely ye dinnae ken how tae give it again," she said finally.
"Aye." Magnus's jaw clenched. "I ken it's nae fair tae ye. Ye've done naethin' tae deserve me suspicion, at least nae since ye have arrived here. But every time I start tae let ye in, every time I think maybe this time will be different, I remember. Remember how foolish I was. How blind."
"Ye werenae foolish, Magnus. Ye were tryin' tae build somethin' with yer wife. There's nay shame in that."
"There is when yer wife is buildin' somethin' with someone else." His voice turned bitter. "So aye, Ada. That's why I pull away. Why I cannae seem tae give ye everythin' ye deserve. Because I'm terrified that if I dae, if I let meself love ye the way I want tae, ye'll destroy me just like she did."
Ada was quiet for a long moment. Then, slowly, she reached up and cupped his face in her hands.
"I'm nae her, Magnus. I will never be her.
" Her voice was fierce. Certain. "I dinnae care about trade routes or alliances or whatever else brought us taegether.
I care about ye. About the stubborn, impossible, wonderful man ye are.
Who's teachin' me tae fight. Who gets jealous when other men look at me and possessive when anyone tries tae hurt me. "
"Ada—"
"And I'm terrified too." Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. "Because I thought ye didnae want me. Thought maybe ye looked at me and saw naethin' but an obligation. A burden ye had tae carry because the king commanded it."
Magnus's hands came up to cover hers where they rested against his face. "How could ye think that? After last night—"
"After last night, when ye pulled away. Again." Ada's voice broke slightly. "Stopped before we could truly be taegether. And I didnae understand why. Didnae ken if it was because ye didnae want me enough or because ye still see her when ye look at me."
"God, Ada. Nay." Magnus pulled her closer, his forehead dropping to rest against hers. "I want ye so much it terrifies me. Every moment we're taegether, every time ye smile at me or touch me or just exist in the same room, I want ye more. It's nae about nae wantin' ye."
"Then what is it about?"
"It's about bein' afraid that if I give ye that final piece of me, if I let ye see how much I need ye, ye'll realize the power ye have over me. And then—" He couldn't finish.
"And then I'll use it against ye somehow." Ada understood then. Fully. "That's what ye're afraid of. Nae that I'll betray ye the same way. But that I'll see how much ye care and may use it tae hurt ye."
"Aye."
"Magnus." Ada's hands slid from his face to his chest, rested over his heart. "I can feel how hard yer heart is poundin'. Can feel how much this is costin' ye tae talk about. And I promise ye, on everythin' I hold dear, I will never use yer feelings against ye. Will never weaponize yer love."
"How can ye promise that? How can either of us ken—"
Ada rose up on her toes and kissed him. Cut off his words with her mouth, her hands fisting in his shirt to pull him down to her level.
Magnus made a rough sound low in his throat and kissed her back. Harder than he should have, more desperate than was wise. His arms encircled her, crushed her against him.
When they finally broke apart, both breathing hard, Ada looked up at him with eyes gone dark.
"Ye want proof I want ye?" she whispered. "Proof that I'm nae usin' ye fer alliance or gold or anythin' else? Then take me. Right here, right now. Show me what ye've been holdin' back. Stop bein' afraid and just let yerself feel."