Chapter 6
I’ll do it. I’ll do it.
Theywere her own words, spoken by her own voice — but somehow, they still didn’t seem real. They seemed like someone else’s words, someone else’s choices, someone else’s life.
Andperhaps Killik felt it too, because his dagger stilled in his hand, his eyes black and empty in the lamplight. “You… shall do it,” he repeated, his voice as blank as his eyes. “You shall accept. With all my terms.”
Louisaswallowed, and then belatedly shut the door behind her, fastening the latch for good measure, while distantly thanking the gods that all her staffers’ bedrooms were on the first floor. “Yes,” she said, as decisively as she could. “Your terms were fair, and you were right. The camp is already there, my bed is already empty, and I…”
Hervoice cracked, her mouth crumpling, and she strode with shaky steps toward the bed, and sank her exhausted body down onto it. “I need the help,” she said, rasping, toward her clammy hands in her lap. “I don’t want to sell the property. I can’t bear for Rikard to win, after everything my husband — well. AndI can’t bear the thought of being trapped indoors in a tiny town apartment for the rest of my days, mending clothes and counting every copper, and pretending not to notice my wealthy former friends when they pass me on the street. I’d rather starve.”
Hervoice broke again, and she swiped at her foolishly leaking eyes, and glared toward Killik with as much determination as she could muster. “So yes,” she said, squaring her shoulders. “I accept.”
Butto her surprise — and her rapidly rising foreboding — Killik didn’t look pleased. Or smug, or mocking, or triumphant, or any of the other responses Louisa had expected. Instead, he looked — uneasy. Uncomfortable. His lean body shifting on his chair, his long fingers rigid around his dagger-hilt.
“What?” Louisa demanded at him, because gods, she already couldn’t bear it, she already wanted to weep beneath the shame. “Is something wrong? Have you changed your mind?”
Shefelt rigid all over now too, gripping her hands together, waiting in taut silence for Killik’s answer. But he wasn’t answering, and Louisa was struck by a sudden, overpowering urge to run over to that window, to jump straight out of it, just like he had…
“I only did not wish you to think,” Killik finally replied, slow, as if he were weighing every word, “that we would leave you to… starve, should you not accept.”
Oh. Louisa jerked a shrug, and again wiped an impatient hand at her eyes. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t expect you to interfere,” her shaky voice said. “My — circumstances — have nothing to do with you. You have no obligation whatsoever to me, so —”
Sheattempted another shrug, but then twitched at the sight of Killik’s sudden, vicious glower. “Ach, we do,” he snapped back. “AndI — ought to have said this, last eve. You have granted us leave to stay on your lands. You have granted safety to Skai women and sons, and given them a home they do not fear, but which is yet near to the refuge of our mountain. This is a great gift to the Skai, and one we will not spurn. One we do not wish to lose.”
Hiseyes had gone narrow, accusing, and he jabbed his dagger toward her. “Should you not accept my offer, but still allow our camp,” he continued flatly, “we shall yet help you. We shall feed you, and care for your land. We shall even dig out your well, should you have need for this. Ach?”
Hesounded angry, even offended, as if — almost as if Louisa had thought orcs incapable of gratitude, of paying their dues, or honouring their debts. Of coming to an agreement that benefited all sides. AndLouisa winced at the realization of it — had she thought such things? — and again rubbed at her stinging eyes, shaking her head back and forth.
“I — thank you for that,” she said thinly, without looking at him. “I didn’t mean to offend, especially after — but wait. How did you know the well needed to be dug?”
Shedropped her hands, frowning at where Killik was now looking past her, and giving a too-casual shrug. “So does this alter your choice?” he demanded. “If you ken you yet have all this — do you yet wish for my offer?”
Right. The ten nights. His unhappy kin-brother. Him paying off her debts. AndLouisa dragged in a shaky breath as she looked at him, as she fought to work it through, fought not to think about the stone still shoved down beneath her blanket.
Evenif the orcs kept helping her, feeding and supporting her, it still wouldn’t be… enough. Would it? It wouldn’t protect her land. It wouldn’t pay her mortgages, or her expenses, or her staff. It wouldn’t give her freedom to live her own damned life, and escape the scourge of LordScall, forever.
“Look, I appreciate the — clarification,” she finally said, toward Killik’s flinty eyes. “But it’s been almost five years since my husband died, and no matter what I do, I’m still — haunted by him. By his fool debts, and his fool nephew, and his —”
Shewinced, shook her head, drew in another unsteady breath. “I want to move past it,” she croaked. “I want to forget it. I want to own my own land, and run my own life, and make my own choices, on my own terms. I want some fucking peace. And if you really can give me all that, in exchange for ten nights” — she lifted her chin, held his eyes — “then yes. I still want it.”
Killikhad listened to all this in blank, unblinking silence, his body rigid, his dagger still pointed toward her. And she couldn’t at all read the look in his eyes now, whether it was anger, or comprehension, or… regret.
“But do you still want it?” Louisa asked him, sharper than before. “Or have you changed your mind?”
Killik’seyes shifted again, this time slipping into unmistakable coolness, or even contempt. “Ach, woman,” he drawled. “I have come here to you again this eve, just as I swore I would, because I have changed my mind.”
Itwas the mockery again, and Louisa glared back toward him, even as he barked a harsh laugh, and gave an angry roll of his eyes. “Ach, I oft change my mind, after I spend many moons making a plan,” he spat. “AfterI have wasted the better part of a year seeking out a woman who will not play the fool with me, or ask me witless questions. A woman who I can mayhap bear in my wolf’s bed!”
Theviciousness scraped through his voice, through the room, raw and betraying — and as Louisa stared back at him, it occurred to her that he was angry. He hadn’t expected her to accept. Or he’d at least held out hope that she wouldn’t, and then he’d be able to rest assured that he’d tried. He’d made his best attempt, he’d sought to offer his kin-brother — his wolf? — something he’d known he’d wanted. Something he’d thought might help.
ButKillik hadn’t actually wanted it, himself. He didn’t want to share his partner — his wolf — with Louisa. He didn’t want her in his bed, or in his life. And gods, he’d openly told her as much yesterday, hadn’t he?
I have no wish for you. I only wish for you for him. And once this is done, I shall have naught more to do with you…
Moremiserable wretchedness churned in Louisa’s gut, along with the familiar flash of her temper, because how — how — had she forgotten that? How had she somehow begun to think of this orc — of Killik — being part of it, too? Of him being tangled up in this, with his beautiful lean body, his long fingers, his crackling expressive eyes. And no, hell no, what the hell had come over her, she did not need him, she did not want him, she did not —
“Well, I’m afraid you won’t have to trouble yourself any further,” Louisa said, as coldly as she could. “Because as it turns out, I’ve changed my mind, after all. I have no desire to come between you and your precious… wolf. And most certainly no desire to tolerate your mockery and contempt, just because you’re furious that I accepted an offer you made to me! An offer you supposedly spent all that time planning!”
Somethingflickered in Killik’s hard eyes, but Louisa drew in breath, drew up more of her own fury and contempt. “Did it not once occur to such a clever orc as yourself that your carefully selected target might actually accept your offer?” she demanded. “That your brilliant plan might actually work? That you might actually need to share your wolf, though you clearly aren’t willing to offer him any fidelity of your own?!”
Killikkept staring at her, his sharp claws flexing on his dagger-hilt, his body’s tautness coiling into something new, something dangerous. And he was slowly rising to his feet, oh hell, and Louisa lurched up too, her head raised, her hands in fists, as the determination thundered dark and bitter in her belly. No. No.
“So we’re finished here, orc,” she hissed. “Now put that dagger away, and get the hell out.”
Hervoice rang through the room, loud and decisive, and for a silent, staring moment, Louisa was certain she’d finished this. She’d won, for good. Because that wasn’t just danger, now, flickering across Killik’s eyes. It was… gratefulness. Relief. And his lean body even angled toward the window again, as if he was about to run for it, and leap away to safety. To a world where he didn’t need to share his wolf with an unwanted, unattractive, impoverished woman like her.
Butthen, Killik… stilled. Closed his eyes. And inhaled, slow and purposeful, his head turning toward Louisa’s bed. Toward where it was still messy and rumpled, because she’d been too distracted to tidy it that morning, and —
Killiklurched toward it in a sharp movement, his dagger sweeping down, and flicking up against the blanket. Tossing it backwards, away, to reveal…
No. Oh, no, no, no. The damned stone replica, still lying there where Louisa had shoved it the night before. And curse her, why hadn’t she thought to hide it, to hurl it down the latrine when she’d had the chance — and even as she belatedly lunged for it, Killik had already swiped it up, and brought it to his nose.
Hewas… smelling it.
Theshame and alarm surged hot and miserable in Louisa’s chest, in her face, and she again lunged for the stone — foolish, foolish, because Killik only snapped his long arm upwards, holding the stone fully out of her reach. And somehow it left Louisa touching him, clutching stupidly at his arm, while he gazed down at her with smug, disdainful mockery.
Damnit. Damn it. Louisa should have reeled backwards again, shoved him away, accepted that she’d lost this round after all. So why was she just clutching at his arm again, still fighting him for this, jostling their bodies too tight together. Feeling that lean implacable hardness of his chest, the strength of his arm beneath her fingers, the heat of his skin against hers. The smell of him, musky and rich, curling up between them, filling her gasping breaths…
“You repugnant rodent,” she choked, far too late, through her closed-off throat. “You have no right.”
ButKillik’s eyes looked almost amused again, as if he was enjoying her humiliation, her pathetic attempts at salvaging this appalling situation. “Why do I have no right?” he asked, his voice damnably calm. “I only seek my own goods. AndI only left this with you for one night, for this… test. Ach?”
Louisacursed and lunged for his arm again, but he only looked even more amused than before — and in another flash of movement, something cool settled against her throat. Something long and slim, something —
Hisdagger.
Louisafroze all over, the furious heat in her body cracking into cold, staggering fear. Good gods, he’d had the dagger in his other hand that entire time. And what the hell had she been thinking, to try to fight with a powerful armed orc in her bedroom, over a ludicrous stone orc-cock.
AndKillik was smiling again, the utter bastard, as he gazed down at Louisa’s face, her frozen body. At where she’d begun to betray a slight but uncontrollable trembling, was he going to kill her, he could kill her so easily…
“Breathe, woman,” came his low voice, cutting through the alarm still screaming in Louisa’s ears. “You no wish to quake thus under threat, ach? You must breathe, and be wise. Be watchful.”
Godscurse this odious condescending bastard, because Louisa was — doing it. Obeying it. Dragging in a long, desperate breath, and again, and again. And yes, the fear was even fading beneath it, her shoulders sagging, her awareness slowly returning. Pointing out that as infuriating as this orc was, he surely wasn’t about to kill her. Killing her would only result in her land immediately going to Rikard, and his clan losing their camp for good. AndKillik wanted that camp, didn’t he?This is a great gift to the Skai, he’d said. One we do not wish to lose…
SoLouisa kept standing there, breathing hard, only distantly noting that her trembling had stopped, too. But that dagger was still there, still resting cool and powerful against her skin, and Killik was still gazing down at her, something she couldn’t at all read passing across his eyes.
“Better,” he said, smooth and low. “Now speak truth to me, woman. You wielded my wolf’s prick, last eve. Ach?”
Theheat surged back into Louisa’s face, into her belly, as her throat spasmed against the dagger’s cold steel. And why wasn’t she pulling back from this, from him, he wasn’t even holding her here, she was the one still gripping at his arm…
“Ach?” he said again, deeper this time. “You wielded this, and tested this.”
Louisacouldn’t speak, wouldn’t, and that dagger caressed a little against her throat, the movement almost gentle. “Did you swallow this within you?” Killik asked, his eyes glimmering, strangely alight. “Did you seek to prove this for me?”
Toprove this, for him. Louisa’s throat spasmed again, flexing against the cold steel, but she bit back her gasp, kept her breaths slow and deep. Inhaling that rich close scent of him, holding his glinting eyes…
“Did you swallow this whole, as I asked?” he murmured, raising a brow toward her. “Or did you whimper and tremble and retreat? Did you crumple beneath the strength of my wolf’s prick?”
Louisa’sdefiance flared sharp and angry, and she might have scoffed at him, or shaken her head, if not for the cold steel still kissing gently at her throat. And perhaps Killik knew it, because he finally flipped the dagger around and away, letting its handle dangle down between two fingers, so he could pat his warm hand at her cheek.
“Speak truth to me, woman,” he ordered, his harsh tone at strange, hurtling odds with the softness of his hand on her cheek. “OrI shall ask you to show me, instead.”
Showhim. And curse her, curse the entire damned realm, because Louisa — gasped. The sound loud and betraying, hurling out the shocking depths of her shame before him. Because no, she did not want such a thing, she would never want such a thing, she would never ever ever —
“Ach?” Killik asked, so smooth, so implacable, as a slow, satisfied smile curled at his lips. “You wish to show me, woman? Wish me to ask? Or mayhap” — something flashed, darker, in his eyes — “to command?”
Oh, hell. Oh hell no, no, she did not, this was ridiculous, unthinkable, utterly unconscionable. She wanted nothing from him, not that gentle touch of his hand, not this richness of his scent, not that look in his eyes. A look almost like approval, like… hunger.
“Good,” he purred, all sharp, dangerous triumph. “Then show me, woman. Now.”