Chapter 12
All my bravery is gone by the time we make it up the stairs to his, our bedroom.
He releases my hand and steps back. I feel a wave of nausea sweep through me before I push it down.
The kissing is lovely. My first and only kiss was at my wedding to Darragh.
I vomited immediately after and was struck for the disrespect to my new husband.
Mercifully, he never tried to kiss me again. I would have bitten his tongue.
Kissing Padraig is nothing like that. It is…
truthfully, it causes an unfamiliar dampness between my legs, and an aching heaviness in my breast. Everything with Paddy is so different, exciting and terrifying in equal measure.
I have only ever laid with Darragh. It was painful and unpleasant, though it never took very long.
I love Paddy with everything I am, and I hope it is enough to endure whatever discomfort I experience.
I want to couple with him. Selfishly, I wonder what being with him in that way will feel like.
However, I also want to prove that I can be a good wife.
That taking on a widow with four children is not a mistake.
With a deep breath, I turn around, lay my shoulders on the bed, and reach down to lift my skirts. Halfway up my thighs, Paddy releases an angry growl and suddenly he is behind me. I squeeze my eyes shut and prepare myself for the rough invasion.
“No, cailin!” He lifts my shoulders from the bed forcing me upright.
My back to his front, he buries his face in my neck.
“No, wife. Not like that. Never like that.” His lips ghost across my throat.
“Were he not already dead, I would kill him with my bare hands. To mistreat such an angel…” His voice fades, his hands resting on my shoulders.
He rubs them, loosening some of the tension in my muscles.
He is gentle but commanding, trailing down my arms, my waist and hips.
He skims them up my abdomen and molds his large hands to my breasts.
My breath shudders at the intimate and proprietary touch.
His moan mingles with mine, his fingers finding my nipples through the layers of fabric, teasing them, pinching and tugging until I am shamelessly rubbing my backside against his prominent manhood.
His right hand moves down my body once more, cupping the junction of my legs, and guiding my pelvis for more pressure on his erection.
I whine at the loss of his touch when he removes both hands to undo my dress.
I miss the heat of his palms, the pressure of his fingers.
My dress falls to the floor. With gentle pressure on my shoulders, he forces me to turn around.
My eyes remain on his chest, unable to look him in the eye.
He traces the neckline of my shift with the tips of his fingers, my nipples growing impossibly harder.
He leans down and seals his mouth over mine, pushing his tongue past my lips.
It is a weird thing to do, but I like the feel of his tongue against mine, the way it tangles and tastes.
With a flick of his wrists, my shift slides down my arms and catches on my distended nipples briefly before slipping to the floor to join my discarded dress.
I am naked before a man for the first time.
Darragh never wasted time removing my clothing so long as they did not impede his progress.
I push thoughts of him out of my mind; he has no place here.
Paddy is fully clothed and I should feel embarrassed or ashamed of my wantonness. Though, the fire in his gaze as he studies my naked form douses any such feelings. He stares at me like a hungry man, wetness pools between my legs. I close my eyes and wait for whatever comes next.
Unexpected relief courses through me as his mouth closes around one nipple, suckling it as his hand begins to play with the other.
That aching heaviness I felt when he kisses me dissipates under the onslaught of his hot, wet mouth.
A madness boils my veins, pulsing inside me, empty and needy.
I clutch his head to my chest, riding wave after wave.
His free hand cups my quim, my hips jerking in response, pushing into his hand for more. His fingers slide through my slit, tracing my opening, and dipping inside. Before I become used to the sensation, he withdraws and finds my clitoris, circling it with exquisite pressure.
He kneels in front of me and I open my eyes in time to watch him plant his face in my most intimate area.
A scream is torn from me when his tongue replaces his fingers.
He licks and nibbles my clitoris, then sucks it hard.
I convulse in agonizing ecstasy as an intense pressure releases in my pelvis with an alarming wetness.
I bat his head and push him away, my heart racing in my chest. I sit on the bed and scoot back until I am against the headboard, my arms around my knees. What was that?
“Why did…why did my body…” I do not know what to think. Fear chills me, yet there was pleasure. Indescribable pleasure.
Paddy’s dark brows slant angrily, and I tighten my arms around my legs. “Was that the first time you finished?”
“Finished? Finished what?”
Still kneeling, he moves closer to the bed. “You had an orgasm, cailin.”
“That is…the pressure…the wetness…that was an orgasm? But my body shook and I felt out of control and—”
Paddy smirks. “Really fecking good?” I think it over once more, replaying the sensations that overwhelmed me.
“Uh, well, yes. Really, really good.”
“Then let us do it again.” He lashes out before I can move, grips my ankles and tugs my legs straight. I squeal even as my thighs fall open in instinctive invitation. “I am still quite famished.” With a wink, he dives back in for seconds.