CHAPTER 11
“Sometimes just one sentence is enough to make us feel alive again…”
COLIN ADAMS
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had that much fun. Today had been… different.
Maybe I’m exaggerating, but Hanna actually made me laugh—real laughter—and I still don’t understand how she manages to break down my walls so easily.
Before heading back to my room, I noticed Joshua sitting on the couch, playing video games. I hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was a good idea to try talking to him, but I sat down beside him anyway.
School started tomorrow, and Isabelle had agreed to take him.
“Winning?” I asked.
“Huh?”
I nodded toward the soccer game on the screen.
“Yeah.”
“Looks like you’re pretty good.”
The truth was, I’d lost almost all sense of closeness with my son. We used to play together, but now I couldn’t even sit next to him without feeling like an intruder. I wanted to change that.
Just take the first step, Colin.
“Kind of,” he muttered.
“Mind if I watch?”
He shrugged. “Uh-huh.”
The next five minutes were filled with nothing but silence.
Part of me kept saying it was a bad idea to stay—after all, I hadn’t exactly been a present father—but I decided to ignore that voice tonight. I’d already broken a few of my own rules today.
“Why were you playing with that girl?” Joshua suddenly asked, catching me off guard.
“She was alone, and she asked me to.”
He instantly paused the game and turned to me, his expression shifting to anger.
“I don’t want a sister!” he snapped, tossing the controller onto the couch and trying to leave the room. This time, I didn’t let him.
“Joshua!” I grabbed his hand. “She’s Isabelle’s daughter. I’m not trying to give you a sister, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“But you like her.”
“Yes. Hanna’s a good kid—sweet, cheerful. You could try to be nice to her. I know you’ve been feeling lonely.”
“I want my sister and my mom!”
The sharpness in his voice hit me hard. For a moment, I couldn’t find words.
“You’re not the only one who misses them,” I said quietly. “I think about your sister every single day. I’d give anything to have her here with us.”
“I don’t wanna play anymore!”
He stormed off toward his room, slamming the door behind him.
My head was pounding. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, trying to make sense of what was going on inside my son’s mind. But it was useless.
I had no idea what to do anymore. That was the truth.
“He’ll come around with time, Colin,” I heard Helen say softly behind me, and I opened my eyes.
“I don’t know, Helen. I try to reach him, but he shuts me out completely. I’m a lousy father.”
“No, you’re not.” She sat down beside me.
I can’t be harsh with Helen. Don’t ask me why, but she’s one of the few people who never manages to irritate me.
“The accident broke me,” I said quietly. “Completely.”
“I know Maddison’s not coming back,” she replied, her tone gentle but firm, “but Joshua’s still here. Deep down, he knows you both need to find your way back to each other.”
“I need to fix this,” I said, standing up and forcing a faint smile. “I’ll think of something. And… thank you—for being here, even when I can barely stand myself.”
“You don’t have to thank me for that. I’ll always be here, whatever you need.”
I never doubted Helen’s words. If there was one person who had always been there for me, it was her.
I just hoped I could finally learn from my mistakes—and stop making things worse between me and my son.