COLIN ADAMS
I don’t like talking about Joshua’s problems—doesn’t matter who it’s with. Even though Isabelle tends to talk a mile a minute and asks way too many questions, I’ve found myself trusting her more as the days go by.
Don’t ask me why my heart’s gotten this soft. I know it’s not smart to let my guard down, but... I can’t deny it feels good.
“You like playing at the playground?”
Yeah, I was back there again—with the tiny, talking version of Isabelle, who somehow manages to talk even more than her mother. Today she was even more energetic than yesterday, and I couldn’t help wondering if she was like this every single day.
“I used to like it more,” I said.
“Hmm. You used to play here with your daughter?”
“Yes. A lot.”
Maddison never let me work unless I came here first—or joined her for tea with her dolls. I was terrible at pretending to drink tea or coffee, always spilling something or sitting wrong, but she didn’t care. She always laughed. Or maybe she just hid it well.
“Did your mom tell you when you start preschool?” I asked, trying to change the subject. I still felt awkward every time Hanna brought up anything from my past.
“Oh, I don’t know when it starts, but I’d rather stay here.”
Kids...
“Well, to stay here, you have to go to school first,” I said lightly but with a hint of seriousness.
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Okay, then I’ll go.”
I smiled.
That little girl...
“Do you remember your dad?”
Yeah, that one caught me off guard. After what Isabelle told me—that Hanna’s father had abandoned them—I’d wondered a few times what might have really happened.
But I never asked Isabelle about it. Asking something that personal would only invite her to do the same, and I’m not exactly eager to talk about my past. Even asking a child that question made me feel like an idiot.
“Um... just a little,” she said casually, as if it didn’t matter much.
“I see.”
That was a mistake. I was already trying to think of a way to steer the conversation elsewhere. Isabelle’s personal life wasn’t my business, and I didn’t need to dig where I shouldn’t.
“My daddy left home,” Hanna said softly, “and he left me and Mommy all alone. She cried a lot.”
You weren’t supposed to say that, Hanna.
Her words hit me harder than I expected, and regret immediately sank in. I shouldn’t have brought it up.
“He used to squeeze Mommy’s arm, pinch her, and... hit her too.”
“How do you know that?!” I didn’t even know if I was angry or just stunned that a child her age could remember something like that.
“Mommy and Grandma talked about it once. I heard them.”
Exactly what I didn’t need today—anger.
Not today.
Before I even realized what I was doing, I stopped the swing and took her small hands in mine. I had no idea where the words came from, but they did.
“Your dad’s never going to hurt your mom again. One day, she’s going to find someone you’ll get to call ‘Dad,’ and he’ll treat both of you the way you deserve.”
The little girl looked at me for several long seconds, and it completely threw me off.
There was something about her eyes—so pure, so honest—that stripped me of all my defenses.
When Hanna looked at me, it was like she could see right through me.
.. into a part of myself I couldn’t even find anymore.
“Okay, Uncle Colin,” she finally said.
We stayed at the playground for a few more minutes, saying nothing. The silence felt oddly heavy, maybe because I’d said too much again. Apparently, I was learning from Isabelle—talking too much, and always at the worst times.
“I’m sleepy,” she murmured, standing up from the swing and stretching her little arms toward me.
At first, I didn’t get it, but then it hit me—she wanted me to pick her up. I hesitated for a moment, then gave in.
I still didn’t know where to take her.
Or maybe... I did.
I walked down the hallways I usually avoided, the ones I hadn’t stepped through in a long time, and laid Hanna on my late daughter’s bed. She must’ve been exhausted—she fell asleep before we even got there.
I stood there for a while, watching her breathe, and tried to make sense of why she affected me so much. Hanna didn’t look like Maddison, and I’d been around other kids before—not many, but enough to know I never reacted like this.
Something about her was different. Something I couldn’t quite name yet.
I was taking a break from work.
I decided to walk through the garden and soon ran into Helen, who was smiling even more than usual.
She was a naturally cheerful woman, and I couldn’t help feeling a bit envious whenever I saw her like that.
I wished I could be that kind of person—happy—but after everything that’s happened, that kind of peace feels like a luxury I’ll never have again.
“Would it be wrong to say I was watching you and the little girl at the park for a few minutes?”
“Yes, Helen. Very wrong. But don’t worry—I won’t fire you for it.” I smiled, and she did too.
I wasn’t upset. Not even close. Hanna had this strange ability to bring out something good in me—something I honestly thought was long gone.
“She’s such a sweetheart,” Helen said. “Even though she’s so little, she never stops talking. She loves chatting with everyone. I wouldn’t be surprised if she already knows every single person in the house.”
“Yeah, Hanna talks a lot—usually when she shouldn’t,” I said, remembering the last few days.
“But out of everyone,” she continued, “the person she likes the most is you.”
“I just play with her at the playground. I guess that earns me some points,” I deflected.
“No, Colin. She looks for you every single day. Sometimes we even have to tell her you’re not home, or she’d never leave you alone.”
“Seriously?” I asked, genuinely surprised.
“Mm-hm. Isabelle goes crazy over it,” she said with a knowing smile, glancing toward the kitchen, where Isabelle had just appeared.
“She worries too much. Hates it when Hanna interrupts you, even when you’re not doing anything important.
That’s just how she is. Isabelle’s a good woman—she really tries to do her job the right way. ”
Deep down, I already knew that. I knew I’d been too hard on her—threatened her too often, pushed too far. But I understood her, at least a little. I knew life hadn’t been kind to her, especially after being left to fend for herself.
“Hanna’s... very special to me,” I said before realizing the words had slipped out.
“I can tell,” Helen replied softly. “And I think, with time, that bond will only grow stronger.”
I felt lighter once I got back to work, finally pushing through the part I’d been stuck on. Turns out, a good day actually helped for once. I just couldn’t let myself believe that would happen often—my experience with “good days” usually doesn’t end well.
Getting my hopes up is a damn mistake, and that’s why I keep my guard up about everything.
When I checked my watch, it was already past five. I told Helen to keep an eye on Hanna and help her out when she woke up. I figured the little one was still in the bedroom, sound asleep.
Technically, she was the only one allowed to walk through those halls, but apparently, Hanna wasn’t a fan of rules—she’d been wandering around there more than I realized.
I decided to get up and stretch my legs. Before anything else, I went to my daughter’s room, but Hanna wasn’t there. A miracle, honestly—she was awake and hadn’t called me to play.
Yeah, I know—I’m getting a bit full of myself. Helen’s fault, really. She’s the one who said the girl thinks too highly of me. Truth is, she should be keeping her distance, since I’m the least friendly person in this house.
When I walked into the kitchen, Helen was making some snacks—and smiling again.
“Good afternoon. Sorry I didn’t let you know Hanna was up, but she made a new friend. Looks like you’ll have to share her attention from now on.”
“Good afternoon, Helen. A new friend?”
“Yes. Take a look in the room next to the sunroom.”
I’ll admit it—I was curious. I headed over, and when I saw Hanna playing with Joshua, my heart almost stopped.
My son—the same one who’d been angry at the world, convinced I was trying to replace his sister—was actually laughing, caught up in some kind of trivia game with her.
“Hanna’s persistent,” Helen said, coming up beside me.
“What did she do?”
“She wouldn’t leave him alone after he got home from school. He tried to get away, but she followed him around like a little shadow. She’s like a barnacle.”
“You’re kidding,” I said, smiling awkwardly.
“Not at all. She wore him down for a good two hours. He finally promised he’d play with her for just a few minutes, but... well, time passed, and now they’ve been having fun for quite a while.”
I couldn’t hide it—I was genuinely happy. Maybe too happy.
“I’m going to be forgotten,” I muttered.
“...or,” Helen said gently, “you could take it as an opportunity.”
She gave me a look, and I knew exactly what she meant. It wasn’t the perfect scenario to reconnect with Joshua, but maybe I could try joining them. Then again, knowing Hanna, she’d probably pull me in without even realizing it.
“We’ll see how things go,” I said. “You never know.”
There was somewhere I was supposed to be today, but after everything that happened, it could wait.
Tonight, all I wanted was to sleep in peace—for once.