Chapter Colin Adams
COLIN ADAMS
“I’m a worthless human being, aren’t I?”
Standing in front of my daughter’s gravestone, I all but fell apart. There’s nothing about the man I’ve become that I can be proud of. No one around me can stand me anymore—and I make sure of it. Every single day, I give people one more reason to hate me.
“Everything would’ve been different if I’d saved you, sweetheart. I couldn’t… I’m sorry.”
Remembering the day she died still tears me apart in ways words can’t touch. The pain is so deep it’s almost unmeasurable—and now I understand that some wounds hurt far more than anything physical ever could.
Knowing your entire world can shatter in a matter of seconds feels impossible to believe until it happens.
You never see it coming. But once it does—once your life turns upside down because of one stupid mistake—everything starts to make sense in the worst possible way. You never see life the same again.
“You and Joshua are the most important people in my life.”
The words left me trembling, my tears coming harder. My daughter will never again tell me she loves me, never again call me the most important man in her world.
Then the rage hit—sharp, wild—and I started pounding the ground, my fists sinking into the grass of the place that only brings me pain. I never thought I’d have to bury my own child. Now I’m a wreck—completely undone, without an ounce of control left in me.
“Why me, God?! Why do you hate me so much?! What did I do to deserve this kind of hell? Take me! Why my daughter?! Answer me!”
But of course, there was no answer. There never was.
I collapsed on the grass and cried like a child.
My life ended the moment my daughter’s did.