Chapter 6
Hester stumbled up the steps of Heron House with Ellen by her side and Alabaster quite quiet, as if sensing the enormity of all this. She held her dear friend carefully, not wishing to give her any more pain.
Not only did Ellen have a bruise and cut on her face, but her bones ached, for the fall had impacted her more than she’d admitted. And she was bruised all along her left side, something Ellen had only confessed in the hackney ride over.
It was hard for Hester not to kick herself.
How she had pushed hard to stay free. How she had insisted on her own independence. But now here at Heron House, staring up at the vast wealth of it all, she wanted to laugh to the high heavens at her own absurdity and willful pride that had left her dearest and only friend so hurt.
She’d clung to independence when such wealth and aid had been at her fingertips? She could have prevented what happened to Ellen a million times over and for what? Her pride? Because she didn’t want to ask for help? Her spirit was gutted to the core at the very thought.
The door of Heron House swung open, signifying its excellent service. The mere hint of a vehicle and a servant had come.
And when the door opened, it was the butler from earlier that day.
“How do you do?” she said, through freezing lips. “I am here to see Captain Briarwood.”
“Do you have an appointment?” the butler began, eyeing them, not with judgement but swift assessment. He took one look at Ellen, pushed the door open farther, and said, “You must come in at once.”
She swallowed, astonished.
So often butlers acted as gargoyles or gatekeepers.
They did not usher in impoverished women who looked as bedraggled as she and Ellen surely did.
But this butler must have been given orders some time ago by the owners of this house that anyone who showed up looking like they needed aid were to be ushered in immediately.
“Thank you,” she said quickly, desperately grateful that she would not have to beg for help.
Ellen groaned ever so slightly as Hester slowly guided her into the grand foyer.
She felt a wave of nausea at what she had to say next. “The hackney needs to be paid… and I cannot manage it.”
The butler gave her one quick nod of understanding, headed back outside, and must have paid the man, for the sound of the hackney rolling down the gravel drive filled the air.
A wave of shame rushed over her, but she shoved it aside. She had greater worries at present.
It was such a beautiful entry hall. All of Heron House was beautiful.
The butler swept back into the house and gave her a pointed look.
“Please wait here. I shall alert his lordship and the dowager duchess that you are here. They’re the only two in the house at present, save for the younger ones upstairs.
Lady Hester,” the butler began gently, “you are welcome here. I am so sorry that you are here on such…”
But then he did not say anything else, as if he realized anything he could say might make the situation worse. He turned on his polished shoes and headed up the grand stairs.
“Everything will work out now, Ellen,” she whispered, helping to keep the older lady upright. “It’s being taken care of.”
“I’m so sorry, Hester,” Ellen moaned. “I never meant to put you in this position. We shouldn’t be here. We shouldn’t be bothering the Briarwoods. I do not want them to think that you have fallen on such hard times.”
“I have fallen on hard times, Ellen. We both have.”
“Yes, but no one knew how badly,” rasped Ellen. “And before, you came here for a simple business arrangement. But now they shall see—”
“Ellen,” she whispered touching her maid’s face as carefully as she could. “We have fallen on hard times, it’s true. We are in a terrible state, and the Briarwoods will want to help. So we will take it.”
Ellen blinked, blowing out a shaky breath as she clung to Hester’s hand. “Yes, but…”
“It’s all right,” Hester insisted. “You will not feel guilty about this. If anyone is to feel guilt, it is I.”
“Never, Hester,” Ellen returned. “Never.”
Tears stung her eyes. More dratted tears!
Ellen had always been dear and strong and loyal and true, and Hester would not fail her now. No matter what it took. No matter how low she had to bow or scrape or grovel or apologize.
She’d go back to her parents if she had to, but she would not allow anything more to happen to her darling Ellen.
Ellen, who had sung her to sleep. Ellen, who had put cold cloths on her forehead when she’d had fevers as a child.
Ellen, who had nursed her every scrape. Ellen, who had held her close as she had cried her eyes out when her mother had refused to visit her, disappointed in her curtsies, disappointed in her dancing, disappointed in the way she even said goodbye.
The butler came back quickly. “They will see you. And we shall look after our other guest,” the butler added, pointing to the basket which was beginning to elicit meows.
She nodded and managed to murmur a thank you, so grateful as she awaited Captain Briarwood.
But there appeared to be no wait at all.
Footsteps dashed down the stairs as Captain Briarwood thundered towards them. He stopped in the foyer, his eyes wild, just like he was. Oh, he might try to convince the world with his slightly rigid persona and his attention to detail that he was not wild. But he was.
She could sense it in him. He was an untamed force dying to be unleashed again. She was amazed that he had been able to take root here in London. She knew how the sea called to Navy men.
But she was grateful that he had.
He took one look at Ellen and said kindly, “I’m going to take care of you.”
He swept Ellen up into his arms as if she was nothing more than a bag of feathers.
Ellen let out a note of protest. “My lord, you mustn’t.”
“Of course I must,” he assured. “You are clearly important to Lady Hester, and even so, you are in need of care and we have the ability to give it, so we must.”
“You are a very dear boy,” Ellen said. “And I am so very glad that my Hester has come to you for help and no one else.”
He smiled gently down at her. “As am I. Now let us get you sorted.”
He turned to the butler. “Call for a physician at once.”
The butler nodded. “I have already done so, my lord.”
“I’m glad to hear of your care and efficiency. You are always the best,” Captain Briarwood praised.
The butler gave a pleased and simultaneously relieved nod. “I shall immediately prepare hot tea, hot bricks, and cooling compresses.”
“Thank you,” Hester said swiftly. “Thank you so much.”
“Yes, thank you,” Ellen murmured as she clung to Captain Briarwood.
He made his way back up the stairs and carried her down a hall, then into a sumptuous drawing room.
Hester followed quickly behind him, and when he set Ellen gently down on a settee, the dowager duchess fluttering beside him, Hester swallowed.
She was astonished to see the Dowager Duchess of Westleigh fluffing pillows ever so carefully around Ellen.
“Oh, Your Grace,” Ellen protested, for she knew exactly who the dowager duchess was because the dowager duchess’s likeness had been in newssheets many a time. “You mustn’t bother yourself.”
“Don’t be silly,” the dowager countered with the most generous and patient of smiles. “I have been in your circumstances, or at least similar ones. I’ve taken terrible falls, you know.”
“This was more than fall. This was…” Hester’s voice died, hating to relay just how terrible it had been.
Captain Briarwood turned to her slowly. “What was it?”
Hester winced and looked away. “She was attacked outside our lodgings.”
“Where do you live?”
She gave the address and Captain Briarwood and the dowager duchess paled.
“You know it?” she queried, almost breathless as she noted the tense nature of the room.
“Yes, we both know it,” the dowager duchess said seriously. “You see, our family does a great deal of work in those areas.”
“How can you live there?” Captain Briarwood demanded, shocked.
“Because it is the only place that we can afford,” Hester said tightly, squaring her shoulders.
The dowager duchess’s mouth went tight. “I grew up in areas like that, my dear. Only worse. You do not have the skills to live in a place like that and survive, you know. And no one should have to acquire them.”
“I know it now,” she returned, as her hands began to tremble, the enormity of it all finally hitting her.
The dowager gave her an assuring smile. “We shall sort everything out for you.”
Her spirit sank at that. She was such a failure. She had failed in all things. Here she was, in the gilded house of the Briarwoods, after fulfilling her parents’ warnings that she would end up impoverished and in the worst of circumstances.
Captain Briarwood crossed to her. And much to her amazement, he quickly took her hand in his. “You must not do what you are doing.”
“Oh?” she said softly. “And what is that?”
Wordlessly, he pulled her out into the hall.
“I want to be with Ellen,” she protested.
“And you shall be,” he promised, but he gazed down at her with an intensity that burned. “But first, you’ll speak with me. While you do, my grandmother will take excellent care of her.”
And as if on cue, the butler dashed by them into the drawing room with a large tray of things.
“She will be taken care of,” Captain Briarwood insisted. Then he said, “You need to be taken care of too.”
“I don’t,” she gritted, looking away, unable to bear his kindness. “I do not need to be taken care of. I have been the worst sort—”
“And that is exactly why you need to be taken care of. For how you are speaking to yourself just now,” he cut in. “You will cease.”
She sucked in a gasp. “What do you mean I will—”
“You will cease speaking to yourself like that,” he reiterated firmly. “You are a strong woman. You are experiencing hardship. There has been no one to help you, and you have done the very best that you can. You should be incredibly proud of yourself.”
“How can I be proud of myself?” she demanded. “When Ellen is…”
She could not finish, for her throat tightened with the horror of it.
“We will find a place for your maid here in the house,” he said, “where she will rest.”
“She’s not my maid,” she bit out.
“I’m sorry?”
“She is not my maid,” she repeated, even as each word hurt in her tight throat. “She’s my friend.”
And then her voice broke and tears began to fall. “Oh, forgive me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
His eyes widened. “It is I who must apologize. I made a very rude assumption. Of course, she must have a room with you.”
“We will not stay here. I only came because…”
“You came here because you had nowhere else to go,” he finished for her, with no cruelty or judgment. “We know what sort of people your parents are. They would’ve been brutally harsh, and they might’ve turned you away just to teach you a lesson. I’m well aware of what the earl is like.”
She tried to suck in a breath, but it was painful, and it caused more tears to fall.
“Now listen to me,” he instructed, holding her hands as if he could will his strength into her. “You will stay here for now until we can get your shop finished.” He winked at her. “And then you will be able to vacate Heron House because I know we are all unbearable people.”
“Oh dear,” she said with a laugh through her tears. “You really are unbearable,” she said, “to make me laugh in such a circumstance as this.”
He leveled her with a look that spoke volumes. Volumes about surviving pain and war and a life that often made no sense. “Laughing is the only answer to circumstances such as these,” he replied gently.
Hot tears slipped down her cheeks, and she tried to pull her hands free so she could dash them away and compose herself.
“Don’t,” he whispered.
“Why?” she demanded.
“Because tears are a good thing when hard times come.”
“No, they’re not,” she bit out. “They’re a sign of—”
“They’re a sign that your body’s doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. You are showing me, showing the world, that you need help. And here I am.”
Then, oh so gently, he pulled her against him and swallowed her up in his massive embrace. Walling out the world and all that would hurt her. All that had hurt her.
And she let the tears slip down her cheeks and dared to rest her head on his broad shoulder.
“Let it out, Hester,” he urged. “Let it out because you are safe now.”
Safe? She had not been safe in years. She could not believe she was safe now.
But as he kept her carefully in his embrace, an embrace that was protective, strong, and kind?
The tension began to shake out of her body.
And she let herself cry. Cry for too long and too loudly, by any English standards.
But he bore it all. He bore it like an ancient seashore dashed upon by endless waves.
He bore it without complaint, without attempting to shush her, without attempting to tell her that everything would be well.
He simply allowed her to cry out years of being left alone to bear the weight of her choices and their consequences.
Oh, she had forced herself to keep a chipper attitude for Ellen for so long she had not dared to let herself feel her true feelings.
When the last of the salty tears had spilled down her cheeks, Captain Briarwood whipped out his handkerchief and offered it to her.
She pressed it to her face and wiped her nose. “I shall have it laundered.”
“Of course you shall,” he said. “I’m sure you’re extremely good at doing laundry.”
She leaned back, gaped at him, and realized he was teasing her mercilessly. “I am terrible at doing laundry, if you must know. I once turned a handkerchief red because I washed it with a ribbon.”
“The scandal of it,” he replied, tsking.
“Thank you,” she said, laughing.
“There’s no need for thanks.”
“Of course there is.”
“No, Hester,” he said, “I’m the one who should thank you for giving me this chance to do a bit of good. And…”
“Yes?” she said.
“I won’t lie to you,” he began. “I can’t lie to you. And if what I say upsets you, then I promise I will leave you be. Entirely. But, Hester, I admire you. You are a woman that would make any man proud to know…”
She blinked, overwhelmed. “What are you talking about?”
He paused, considering what he would say next, and then he pulled her gently back to him and whispered, “We shall see.”