35
Air e
I vy's baby shower was not quite what I expected. I thought it was going to be a big party, but instead she had invited her family, her husband's family and a few friends. I thought of pulling out. Inventing a sickness or something that would allow me not to be confronted by the idea of children, but when I couldn't think of a plausible excuse, I went. Nolan and I were still not speaking to each other, and yet we had to act as though nothing was wrong, which made it even more painful. It was hard enough to pretend to be someone else, pretending as though everything was fine was even harder so I took to avoiding him.
Ivy and Damien hosted the shower at their luxurious New York townhouse, which easily accommodated fewer than fifteen guests. She had turned the place into a white and pink French vintage baby wonderland. Her bakery had provided cute pastry treats that were too irresistible not to try. And instead of mingling with the crowd, I spent my time at the vintage pram shaped buffet table sampling the items. Was it my pregnancy causing the cravings or was I just using food as a stress relief mechanism? I had morning sickness, but I think it started today. Nolan had looked at me funny when I rushed out of the breakfast room to throw up my cereal. He asked if I was sick, but by the time I explained it was nothing to worry about, he had already lost interest. It was a lie. Even though I felt fine. A dull ache throbbed at the back of my head.
"It's really pretty, isn't it?" Thalia stood beside me without me noticing. She looked lovely in a pastel pink dress that matched the cocktail in her hand.
I nodded. My mouth was full of the mini Danish custard I was munching on. "Gorgeous," I said after swallowing a particularly large segment.
Thalia took a sip of the drink and blinked in surprise. "Tastes better than I imagined. The name doesn't do it favors though. Who names a drink Pink Baby Bomb ? "
I shrugged. "I don't think they thought of baby diapers when they named it."
She took another sip. "Didn't expect the virgin option to be good, but it is."
I was drinking the same non-alcoholic drink as well, so I nodded. Thalia looked me over and opened her mouth as though she was about to comment on something, but then stopped short. We stood for a minute drinking in silence until she said, "Carey and I have been thinking about kids as well."
My eye wandered to Carey instinctively. He was chatting with Nolan and Damien. The three men together were like an assembly of superheroes in casual clothes, but it was Nolan who made my heart swell. It was oblivious even to the knowledge of his hatred of me.
"Are you two planning on uh..." Thalia trailed off as though belatedly realizing how invasive such a question could be. I rescued her by responding, "Nolan and I are still thinking about it."
"I shouldn't tell you this, but I am so excited." She squealed. She leaned forward and said, "I might be planning my own shower soon."
"Wow!" No wonder she was drinking virgin cocktails.
"Carey doesn't know yet. You're the first person I told! "
"I feel honored. And your secret's safe with me." I had secrets of my own I was carrying.
"You're not like how people described you." She was looking at me with inquisitive eyes. "Ivy and Damien owe you for saving their son."
"It was nothing. I only did what anyone would do."
"That's not what Darcy said. According to her, if it weren't for you, this party might be much more somber."
I shook my head. "Your friend has a tendency to exaggerate."
She laughed. "That's true. But she also tells it like it is. Sometimes to her own detriment. Oh." She put down her drink and waved at her husband. "Carey wants us to join them," she said and took my hand. Before I could relent, I was being dragged across the room. Nolan watched me with hooded eyes as we approached them. Carey and Damien had been cold the last time I spoke to them. That, added to Nolan's hostility, made me anxious to speak to the group.
"We were just wondering whether either of you know Duchess Liza."
Thalia shook her head. "You know, I am clueless when it comes to your society. Maybe Aelin knows."
"I know little of her." I had no clue who it was, but a vague allusion to knowing someone went a long way, I had realized .
"Doesn't matter," Carey said. "Anyway. Crazy woman. Loves suing people, so of course the firm loves her. She wants me to sue her neighbor's dog. Apparently, the poor creature trampled on her rose garden..."
I listened to Carey's story in silence, watching everyone in the circle. It would be nice for my child to grow up in a family like this. The Hawthornes seemed to love and protect each other. If Nolan accepted the responsibility of being a father, a family like this would be perfect. Much better than my own. Would it be so bad if I let him know?
My head began to throb again. The room spun. I felt my balance tilt, and I tried to rectify it, but I stumbled. Nolan, Carey, and pretty much everyone were staring at me now. Nolan said something, but it sounded muffled. Then he took a step forward, coming towards me as I saw myself come closer to the floor. The last thing I felt was Nolan's chest behind me as my vision faded to black.