Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
Theo called later that evening when Marian was stepping out of the shower.
‘Hi,’ she said with a laugh as she grabbed a towel from the rail. ‘Why does the phone always ring when you’re in the shower?’
‘Telepathy,’ he said. ‘How are you?’
She froze at the sound of his voice. She hadn’t heard it for such a long time she had forgotten its dark timbre and that Aussie twang that always gave her butterflies. ‘Fine,’ she said, her voice shaking with nerves. ‘And you? How was your flight?’
‘Good,’ he said. ‘When can we meet? I have a car and I could get to you in a few minutes.’
‘Oh, eh… Just let me get ready and then…’ She wracked her brain for a place where they could meet.
She didn’t want him to come to the flat just yet.
It was too small and intimate. She needed space and air around her, so she could back away if their arguments got too heated.
‘Come to the entrance of Magnolia Manor and we can go for a walk through the gardens down to the beach,’ she said.
‘There’ll be nobody around. It’s such a lovely evening, so we can sit on the bench by the jetty and look at the sea.
And it’ll stay bright until ten o’clock. ’
He didn’t argue, which surprised her. ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘I’ll be there in about twenty minutes. Okay with you?’
‘Perfect,’ she said. ‘See you then.’
Marian hung up and looked wildly around the bedroom.
What should she wear for this meeting with her estranged husband?
Her hair was still damp from the shower and her face devoid of make-up.
She didn’t feel she had to dress up for Theo, but she still needed a little power dressing to feel confident.
She finally decided on a pair of jeans, a light blue shirt and her new Adidas trainers.
Then she quickly blow-dried her hair that had grown to shoulder length with blonde streaks from the sun.
She applied a tinted moisturiser and blusher and a touch of mascara and stood back, looking at herself in the bathroom mirror.
There was no hiding the fact that the rest, the new job and the time to herself had made her look and feel years younger, the many hours of swimming and walking giving her a wonderful glow.
It’s the lack of stress, the feeling of belonging and the peace I’ve found here that has made me feel so good, Marian thought. I don’t want to give that up, whatever he says. In any case, my first question will be about the woman he has been writing to.
She stuck her phone in her pocket and ran down the stairs, her heart beating at the thought of meeting Theo here at Magnolia Manor, where she felt so at home.
He was waiting just below the steps, looking up at the imposing facade. ‘Hey,’ he said when Marian came through the massive entrance doors. ‘This is some pile.’
‘Beautiful, isn’t it?’ she said as she walked down the steps to meet him.
‘Incredible,’ he said. He looked tired, his blond hair in need of a cut and his normally clean-shaven face had a dark stubble.
His grey eyes were weary and Marian could see that he had lost weight.
But he was still handsome and still looked so like the young man she had fallen in love with over thirty-five years ago that she felt a familiar dart of attraction.
She kissed him lightly on the cheek. ‘Hello,’ she said. ‘You look exhausted.’
‘Jetlagged.’ He ran his hand over his face. ‘I only landed in Dublin yesterday. I’ve been on the road since early this morning. Didn’t know it would take so long to get here.’
‘Yeah, I know. And I bet you got stuck in Adare,’ she said. ‘Such a pain.’
‘Yes, it is.’ He studied her for a moment. ‘You look great,’ he said as if he didn’t like it.
‘Thanks,’ she said, his slightly sour look making her feel awkward. ‘I’ve had a good month or so here.’
‘Six weeks,’ he corrected. ‘I’ve missed you. Where can we talk?’
‘Let’s walk down to the beach,’ she said, avoiding his eyes that were full of pain and resentment. ‘We can talk there.’
He nodded and they started to walk, side by side, down the path that wound through the beautiful garden with its flowerbeds, shrubs in full bloom and tropical plants. The sunlight through the foliage of the trees threw a dappled light on the path and the breeze from the sea was soft and comforting.
‘Lovely gardens,’ he said, looking around. ‘So well kept.’
‘Yes,’ Marian said. ‘I love this walk.’
Then they could glimpse the water through the arch formed by the branches of the trees and as they came closer, the vista of the open sea became visible.
Theo stopped and stared at the glimmering blue water of the bay, the green hills, the sky meeting the ocean at the horizon and the seagulls gliding above them.
‘Wow,’ he said. ‘What a gorgeous view. Breathtaking.’
‘I know,’ Marian said, pleased that he was so impressed by all the beauty around them. ‘I was just as stunned the first time I came here.’ She walked ahead and sat down on the little granite bench beside the jetty. ‘Let’s sit here for a while and talk.’
‘Okay.’ He joined her on the bench and they sat in awkward silence for a while until Marian spoke.
‘I know you were upset that I didn’t come back to Australia after Claire’s wedding. But I needed some time to myself. I needed time to think.’
‘About what?’ he asked.
‘About a letter I found in the desk when I was looking for my passport. It was from a woman called Helen and she seemed to know you very well. The letter wasn’t very long, but the gist of it was that she thought you should have it out with me, whatever that meant.
’ Marian glared at him, waiting for his reply.
Theo looked confused for a moment. ‘A letter from Helen? Oh, I see. That’s an old letter.
Just a note, really. Stuck into a birthday card she sent me a few years ago.
That’s why you were so upset when you left?
You thought…’ He stopped for a moment, looking distraught.
‘Oh God, Marian, that is not at all the way it seems,’ he said.
‘No?’ Marian tapped her foot. ‘What way was it, then?’
He sighed. ‘Helen is – was – my girlfriend before I met you. She’s Australian but lives in Dublin.
I went to see her when she came to Brisbane for a visit two years ago, and then she wrote to me with some advice, that’s all.
But I only saw her a few times. She’s a bit of an amateur therapist and has helped me in the past. I told her that you were feeling homesick and I didn’t know what to do.
I didn’t feel she was a great help, to be honest.’
‘So you needed help to cope with me?’ Marian asked. ‘From an ex-girlfriend?’
‘I needed to talk to someone and she was willing to listen. Well, things weren’t going so well between us,’ Theo ended. ‘I felt a little helpless, to be honest.’
‘And you thought it was all my fault?’ Marian asked angrily. ‘And then you went to Helen instead of asking me how I was feeling? Instead of discussing it with me?’
‘I suppose I should have talked to you,’ Theo said. ‘But I didn’t think you’d tell me what was wrong.’
Marian sighed, feeling an odd dart of guilt.
‘I know what you mean. I gave you the silent treatment, I suppose. And you ran away to the beach and your surfing for comfort. What happened to us? We used to understand each other without talking, but I felt that you didn’t see me any more or that you didn’t care about how I felt. ’
‘I know,’ he said. ‘I was selfish and then I felt guilty when I saw how homesick you were. Talking to Helen didn’t help matters at all. She said I should try to get you to stop feeling sorry for yourself.’
‘Maybe she was hoping we’d break up?’ Marian suggested. ‘She seems to think you still have feelings for her.’
Theo looked awkward. ‘I don’t know. Maybe she does.’ He shrugged. ‘I felt that she didn’t really understand the situation. And I don’t have feelings for her other than friendship. But I hoped, in time, that you’d get used to things and love Surfers Paradise as much as I do.’
‘It’s not much of a paradise to me,’ Marian said in a bitter tone. ‘I did try, but then you were always off to the beach with your mates and seemed to live a different life. I thought you didn’t want me around at all.’
He looked at his feet. ‘I know what you mean and I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.
’ He glanced up. ‘I just wanted to feel young again. To ride the waves and have no responsibilities. The kids had grown up and had their own lives, so I knew they didn’t need us any more.
We were so young when we met and had those children, one after another when we were so newly married.
I felt I hadn’t had a chance to grow up myself.
You were so good at running the shop and I thought you enjoyed it. ’
‘I did,’ Marian said. ‘That was the best part, running the shop, meeting customers, making the business run smoothly. But you left me to cope on my own, only coming home for dinner in the evenings. And then you were off again the next morning, catching the perfect wave.’
‘I suppose I forgot about us,’ Theo said, his voice heavy with guilt.
‘I wanted to be free and have some fun, and I suppose I was afraid of growing old. So it was really all my fault that we drifted apart.’ He took her hand.
‘But then, when you left, I realised that I had thrown away thirty years of a marriage that was happy for a long time. Until I ruined it. And when you left, I realised how much you mean to me. How much I missed you when you weren’t there any more.
’ He looked into her eyes. ‘I just want to know if it’s too late to mend what I broke? ’