Chapter Twenty-Two
Not many vehicles were on the road from the Tumbleweed to Sierra Blanca on Wednesday afternoon. Since I could set the cruise control and let my mind wander all over the place, my thoughts jumped around like a sugared-up six-year-old kid.
What Rosie had said about giving me and Scarlett both the weekends off in the future was the first thing that surfaced. “Making babies?” I muttered. “Jackson has teased about a committed relationship, but I need to wrap my mind around that before I think about making babies.”
A vision of a little dark-haired boy holding my hand as we crossed the road flashed through my mind. I wondered how Julia would handle a commoner like me being the mother of her grandchild.
That picture faded and my mind went to how well Tressa had settled in just three days.
She was meticulous in her cleaning, quick to follow directions, and as proud of her split of the tips as I had been in those first days.
She had spent most of her afternoons in her bedroom—but then, she might have been so worried that she couldn’t sleep before she came to the Tumbleweed.
A few times I heard her crying, but I figured she would tell us her story when she was ready, or maybe never.
Whichever would be her decision. She seemed very excited to be included in the trip we’d planned to shop for a wedding dress.
Thinking of Tressa made my thoughts go to Rosie’s and Scarlett’s pasts.
They had done very well in putting that behind them, but Tressa’s was still raw enough to make her cry.
I had to put up with Paula, but never any physical abuse.
However, if the Tumbleweed could cure my poker addiction, it could save Tressa’s heart and soul.
I had been driving along without paying much attention to the songs on my playlist, but when Ashley McBryde started singing “Light On in the Kitchen,” I listened closely.
She sang words that came from a mother to a daughter about trusting herself and loving herself first and foremost. And she would leave the light on in the kitchen in case her child needed her.
I’d never thought of that before, but vowed that if I ever had children, I would do the same.
“I promise to treat Tressa like you would,” I said out loud.
The song had just ended when my phone rang. Hoping that it was Jackson, I touched the screen to accept the call without even looking to see who was calling and answered, “Hello? The roads are clear. It didn’t snow as much down here as it did up where we are.”
“Carla?” a vaguely familiar voice asked.
“Yes, this is Carla,” I answered.
“This is Paula. I’m calling to tell you that Frank died,” she blurted out.
“Do you mean my dad or Frankie?” I was so shocked my voice came out in a high-pitched squeak.
“Frankie and Christian are alive and well, and mourning the loss of their father, as much as I am. That was very rude of you to ask which one—but then, I wouldn’t expect much from someone who chose poker over a stable home.”
“When is the funeral?” I asked, not knowing whether I should go or not.
“He passed away on the first day of January after a two-year battle with cancer. He wanted to be cremated, and his ashes scattered at the family reunion site. We had a lovely memorial with all his family, and we sang hymns while the boys and I took care of the ashes. I could feel him smiling from heaven. His sweet relatives told stories afterwards and provided a big meal for everyone.”
I braked and made a left turn into Sierra Blanca. “Why didn’t you call me before now?”
“I didn’t want you to be here for his sickness or his memorial, but Frankie thought we should at least let you know that he was gone. After all, you were his daughter,” she said.
I slapped the steering wheel out of a mixture of hot anger and sheer confusion. “Yes, I was, and—”
“I’ve told you,” she butted in. “Now you know. Goodbye, Carla.”
I was heading east out of town when I realized that I had passed the bank. I made a U-turn and went back, still in a state of numbness. Granted, I hadn’t visited him or called except on his birthday.
“If he was sick for two years, why didn’t he tell me? And for that matter, why would Paula wait three whole weeks to even let me know that he was dead?” I yelled so loudly that my voice echoed all through the SUV.
After making my deposits, I didn’t go to the little café or stop at the convenience store for a cup of hot chocolate.
I did not listen to music on the drive back to the Tumbleweed.
I tried to sort out my feelings, but it was impossible.
Frank had loved my mother enough to give up gambling, and he didn’t put me in the system.
The mere fact that I was his daughter should have at least warranted a phone call.
He didn’t treat you like a daughter, and he didn’t try to stop you from leaving when you were only sixteen, I reminded myself.
I still wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel when I parked my SUV in the space between the café and trailer.
Scarlett had driven back to Dell City right after work, and Rosie had something that she took care of at the church on Wednesday afternoons, so my vehicle was the only one there.
I stormed into the house to find Tressa sitting on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn in her lap.
“You look like you could either cry or kill someone,” she said and held out the bowl to share with me.
I took out one kernel and popped it into my mouth. “I’m dealing with both emotions, and I don’t know which one is worse.”
“I found a stash of movies in the drawer in my bedroom, so I’m watching Shooter. It’s only five minutes into the story. I can start it all over if you want to see it with me. It could take your mind off whatever is stressing you out.”
“Sure,” I agreed, then removed my coat and sat down beside her. I dipped into the popcorn and put several kernels in my mouth. “I haven’t ever seen this one. Have you?”
“Nope, but I researched it and it’s a kick-ass movie. That’s what I need today,” she said with more conviction in her voice than I’d heard since she arrived.
The popcorn needed something to wash it down, so I stood up and headed for the kitchen. “Don’t push play yet. I’m going to get us each a glass of tea to go with this popcorn. I need that kind of movie, too, but why do you?”
“You first,” she answered.
I filled two tall glasses with iced tea and carried them to the living area. “I found out on my way to the bank that my father died three weeks ago. They’ve already had his memorial. I don’t know whether to be relieved or mad.”
“Why wouldn’t your mother tell you? Were y’all estranged?” she asked.
“Long story short is that Mama died when I was eight years old. My father and I had a complicated relationship from the time I was born. I never called him Dad or Daddy, just Frank. Good ol’ Frank.”
“Why?”
“He and my mama were young when they got pregnant, and he didn’t want to be a father or be labeled Daddy.
So he was Frank. About the only thing we had in common was poker .
. .” I told her the bare bones and ended with “I won the Tumbleweed in a poker game, and I’ve only been here since New Year’s Day. ”
“I guess we’ve all come from a less-than-normal background,” she said.
“My boyfriend, Isaac, didn’t want to be a dad, either.
Today marks one month since I lost my baby.
I was only six weeks pregnant. My boyfriend was mad because my birth control pills failed.
I wound up in the hospital. There were complications because he had hit me in the stomach so many times and they had to remove my uterus.
I can’t have children, so I’m damaged goods .
. .” Her voice trailed off, and her eyes filled with tears.
I shook my finger at her. “No, you are not! You are a survivor, and the Tumbleweed will heal you, just like it did Rosie, Scarlett, and me. From now on, you are a kick-ass woman who doesn’t take crap off anyone, especially a man who doesn’t treat you right.”
“Will you keep telling me that?”
“Every single day, if necessary,” I promised. “Now, turn on this movie, and let’s see if we can get some ideas to make us even stronger.”
She pushed the button on the remote, and we settled down to watch the movie.
Sometime during the first half, I realized I was relieved that I didn’t have to deal with Frank’s family at his memorial, or his illness.
Some people remembered the good things about a person when they were dead, but what came to my mind was the reality of those eight years of traveling.
The moment’s hesitation in his face when the sleazy man wanted him to sell me for poker chips.
The times when I was too young to drive but did anyway, while he slept off a hangover in the back of the van.
His expression of relief when I packed up my old used car and drove away from Kentucky.
The old saying Know the truth, and it will set you free came to mind.
Those were the cold, hard facts, and I had been set free by admitting that everything wasn’t a bed of roses—or maybe it was, with extra thorns.
Tressa cussed the characters who tried to frame Bob Lee Swagger, Mark Wahlberg’s character, and paused the movie to refill our tea glasses.
“Be careful,” I warned her. “Rosie does not abide swearing or gambling.”
“She’s not here,” Tressa said.
“Honey, Rosie could probably walk in the door and smell a cuss word,” I said in all seriousness. “She might give you a second chance since you haven’t heard the speech, but I’m just giving you fair warning.”
She brought back full glasses and started the movie again. “Thanks. I do swear too much, but I’ll try to watch my language.”
“That would be a good idea.” But during the very next scene, I said words that could have blown the windows out of the trailer.
“I won’t tell if you don’t,” she said and crossed her heart like a little girl with a secret.
“I owe you one.” I fought back a blush.
It’s not the movie, Ada Lou whispered in my head.
You might think the Frank issue is resolved, but you are still angry at Paula.
Rightly so. She should have at least given you the option of whether to go to the memorial or not.
Remember what I told you about the first family we have and finding your second one?
“Did you leave behind a family?” I asked.
She paused the movie again. “Just a sister who disowned me several years ago.”
I told her what Ada Lou had told me. “I’ve found mine here in less than a month. No matter how long it takes, I hope you do the same.”
“Me too,” she said, and turned the movie back on.