Chapter 36
Chapter Thirty-Six
Foster
I’m a fucking failure right now, but I’ll never make it about me and make Callie feel guilty that she didn’t come.
Callie is on my bed, naked, hair spread across the pillow, cheeks still pink with embarrassment from admitting the truth to me. I want to do right by her. I need to get her there, and it sounds like I need to get her to relax and trust me enough to let herself go.
So as she lies next to me, my finger traces a path up and down her spine. We’re way closer than we need to be right now, than we should really be, but I’m only thinking about how I can make this right.
“I want you to tell me how I can make this happen for you.”
I hate that she ever felt like she had to fake anything with me. I hate that she thought my ego mattered more than she does. Like I was my dad or something, who always said you take what you want and you win.
So I slow us down. Even though my body is already lit up and ready for round two.
I brush my knuckles along her cheek first, giving her time to decide if she still wants me this close. If she wants to give it another go. Her lashes flutter, and she turns her face into my hand and nods.
I lean in and kiss her softly. Then I tease the seam of her lips with my tongue before going deeper. Her hands find my shoulders, running up and over to my back.
I pull back just enough to look at her. “Instruct me. Give me a sex lesson. Callie’s choice.”
She tenses for half a second. I don’t think it’s fear, I think it’s pressure. How many times has she swallowed down what she needed because it was easier than saying it?
I keep my hand on her face, so she knows I’m in no rush. “You can take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”
Her throat bounces as she swallows. “Okay.”
I kiss her again, slower, trying to let desire build inside her again. Her body relaxes into the mattress. I want her to know that I’m not trying to get anything from her. She has the space with me to find whatever she needs.
My mouth drifts along her jaw. Her neck. The spot under her ear that made her breathe in sharply before. I’ve never kissed a woman this much, but I’m addicted to her soft skin and subtle scent.
Her body stiffens, and I know she’s thinking, worrying, but I continue on my quest.
“You’re so beautiful,” I say against her skin.
“Foster…” Her fingers weave through my hair as I pull her nipple into my mouth.
I’m not sure I’ll ever get enough of that feeling.
“Tell me if or when you want to stop. Otherwise, no apologies, and I’m going to keep going.”
She exhales, and her shoulders drop a fraction.
I move my body back up and press my forehead to hers. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
I kiss her once, then pull back. “I’m not in a hurry.”
The words come out rougher than I intend because there’s a lot of truth there.
She studies my face as if she’s searching for the catch. I hate every man who has come before me. Hell, I wasn’t much better in that department until her, I suspect.
I move lower, kissing along her throat again, my hand sliding down her side. Her skin is hot under my palm.
“Tell me,” I urge again, softer.
Callie’s eyes squeeze shut, and for a second, I think she’s going to back out. Then she takes a shaky breath and opens them again. “I need you to…”
I wait. I won’t fill the silence for her.
Her cheeks flush deeper. “I need you to go down on me.”
The words land between us and hang there.
My body reacts instantly. A sharp pull low in my gut. A flare of want mixed with panic. If I fuck this up, she’ll never ask me or anyone else again.
I’ve rarely gone down on a woman, if I’m honest. To me, it’s more intimate and personal than sex, but here and now, it feels right.
It’s not as though I haven’t been obsessing over how she tastes or whether she’s shaved or has a landing strip.
That night at the club didn’t let me really see her.
Not how I wanted to. She’s asking me for something that requires trust, and it makes me have even more respect for her.
“Okay.” I pull her nipple into my mouth and use my tongue against it.
Her eyes widen a little. “Okay?” Her voice sounds breathy.
I nod, still watching her as I move to her other nipple. “Yes. That’s what you want?”
A tiny swallow. A small brave nod. “Yes.”
I reach up and run my thumb along her cheek. “Then that’s what you get.”
Her breath catches, and it hits me right in the chest. That vulnerability. The way she’s taking what she wants and asking for it. It’s admirable, but I expect nothing less from her.
I move up and kiss her again, slow and deep, then pull away just enough to speak. “You tell me if you want something different. You don’t have to pretend with me. Not ever.”
Her eyes shine, and that throws me. She blinks fast, as though she’s trying to keep it together and not show any emotion. Tonight was supposed to be hot sex, and now we’ve ventured somewhere I never thought we’d be. Hell, somewhere I never thought I’d be with any woman.
“I won’t pretend.” Her voice is a whisper.
“Good.” I kiss her forehead like a promise.
I shift lower, keeping my hands on her with the hopes they anchor her. I keep checking her face, watching for any sign she’s not enjoying this, that her thoughts are running away from her. Callie’s fingers slide into my hair, hesitant at first, then firmer, as though she’s grounding herself.
I wedge my shoulders between her thighs, my arms wrapping around and pulling her pussy flush against my mouth. I breathe her in and tease the tip of my tongue along her clit.
“That’s good.” Her words come out like a breath, barely audible.
“Talk to me. Like this?” I swipe my tongue along her core—tasting her, yes, but also myself. While I hope for a time when I can taste only her on my tongue, tasting the two of us mixed together somehow makes my dick even harder.
Her grip tightens. “Slower.”
I swallow, my chest aching with her honesty.
I focus on her, on what she’s telling me, on the way her breathing changes when I adjust. I keep my pace unhurried. Most of all, I try to keep my mind on point and not get lost in her to make sure I stay on task. At least until she feels comfortable.
Callie’s hand trembles in my hair, then steadies. Her other hand finds mine, threads our fingers together, and holds on.
That does something to me. Something heavy takes residence in my chest.
I glance up, and her eyes are on me, wide and glossy, as though she can’t believe I’m still here with her.
“Foster.” Her whisper sounds as though she’s not sure she’s allowed to say my name right now.
“I’ve got you.”
Her breathing turns ragged. Her hips shift, and she makes a soft sound that goes straight through me. Then she clamps her eyes shut and shakes her head once.
“No, no, I can’t—” She swallows hard. “It’s worthless.”
I stop immediately. I’d rather load the bases in the bottom of the ninth in game seven than watch her shut down.
“Hey,” I say. “Look at me.”
She pops her eyes open.
“You’re perfect. There’s no deadline here. I’ll eat you out all night.”
A smile teases her lips, but then her mouth trembles. “I hate that it’s this hard.”
“I don’t,” I say honestly. “I hate that anyone made you feel like it had to be easy or there was something wrong.”
She releases a shaky breath. “Just… keep going.”
“If I must.” I wink, then grin at her.
She laughs, and I suck her clit into my mouth, twirling my tongue around the hard nub. She grips my hair, not pulling, just holding me as though she’s grounding herself. I bring my hand between her legs and circle her entrance with the tip of my finger.
“Yes, oh god, that feels good.” She lets out a sound that tells me we’re getting somewhere. “Push it in.”
I do as she asks.
“Keep your mouth on my clit. Just light pressure.”
My tongue flicks lightly on her swollen bud.
“Add another finger.”
I follow her instructions, and her ass wiggles against me, her back arching a bit off the bed. If I lose her right now, I swear to god I’m gonna cut off my own dick.
“Arch them. Up… deeper…” Her hands leave my head, and she grips the comforter at her side.
My dick gets harder and harder the closer she is to coming.
“Right there. Suck my clit.”
I am but her humble servant, happy to fulfill her every request.
“It’s coming… fuck, it feels so good. Your tongue… your fingers… God, Foster…”
Her hands dive into my hair, and she pulls my head into her pussy, grinding and using me for her pleasure.
It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
She finally breaks, and if this is a fake orgasm, she should get an Academy Award. The way her whole face changes, the way her fingers lock on, the way she says my name as if I’m her favorite thing in the world. I was a complete moron to think she came earlier tonight.
I stay with her through the waves, until the strands of my hair aren’t pulled taut and she’s relaxed on the bed, catching her breath.
When I come back up over her, Callie’s eyes are half-lidded, lips parted, cheeks flushed. She’s fucking sexy, beautiful, and something unlocks inside me knowing I played a part of what she’s feeling right now.
I brush my thumb over her bottom lip. “You have no idea how fucking sexy that was.”
Her laugh is small and shaky. “Well. Congrats. You did it.”
I smile, and it feels different than the cocky one I’m used to wearing. Softer. Like it should be on Decker and not me. “We did it.”
“Thank you, Foster. For taking the time with me.”
I stare at the wall over her head and try not to let my heart burst out of my ribs because wasn’t that the entire point? For her to see she’s worth someone’s attention?
“I had to prove myself,” I say, wishing I could just own up to how doing this for her made me feel, but we’re not a couple. We’re supposed to be co-parents. Who apparently have the occasional sex lesson.
She relaxes against me, and the panicked urge to remove myself from her washes over me for a second before I kiss the top of her head.
I have no idea how we go back to what it was like before this moment. I don’t think we can.