Chapter 47
Chapter Forty-Seven
Foster
I have no idea how I manage to do it, but I pitch better than I have all season. So much so that there’s a text from my agent waiting for me when I get in the locker room.
Jagger Kale: Finally… this is good. We have a lot of eyes on you right now. Keep it up and something will come through.
Hayes slaps me on the back. “Great job tonight.” He sits on the bench to undress.
“Thanks.”
I would be ecstatic if not for the fact that a woman from my past was talking to the woman carrying my baby, and she didn’t even know it. Now I have to have a very difficult conversation with Callie with the hopes that it doesn’t change our dynamic.
I should’ve seen this coming, but I don’t give Penelope any thought if I’m honest.
I head to the showers, the water washing over me not calming me one bit. The fear that I’ll lose everything we’re building and Callie will walk away from me is eating me up inside.
Hello, childhood trauma, great to see you again.
And just like with the pregnancy news and Hayes, I want to tell Callie as soon as possible. I can’t stomach this torture.
I leave the shower and get dressed, stopping right before I walk out. “Hey, I need to talk to Callie about something. We’ll meet you at Peeper’s, okay?”
Hayes nods, a few lines forming on his forehead. “Everything okay?”
I could tell Hayes, and he might tell me I’m overreacting.
That Callie will handle this fine. Surely, she knows I wasn’t celibate before her, but I’m not sure Hayes is aware of how hurt Callie still is from her past relationships.
How hard she fights to trust people, men especially.
And I’ve worked really hard to get her to trust me.
Hell, I even told her about my mom, which is something I’ve never done—with anyone.
“Yeah.” I play it off as best as I can. “It won’t take long.”
I hope.
“Cool, see you there.”
As I walk out of the clubhouse, everyone nods and tells me good game. It’s been a long time since my pitching felt so flawless and effortless. Like I could depend on my arm again.
Some of the families are waiting around, and Callie is with Leighton, having a conversation, as Lincoln and Monroe run around with Penelope’s daughter, Hazel.
Standing next to Leighton, Penelope glances up from her phone, and our eyes catch for a moment.
She offers me a small smile, but I shut it down immediately.
“Hey, you!” Callie hits my chest with the back of her hand. “What a game. Congrats!”
She’s all smiles. What I really want to do is swoop her into my arms and kiss the shit out of her, but there are a lot of eyes here, and she’s not really mine.
“Foster, they said your fastball hit 103!” Lincoln’s mouth is open, and his eyes are wide.
I ruffle his hair. “It was a good day on the mound.”
He smiles up at me. “Are you coming for pizza?”
“Can Hazel come?” Monroe asks Leighton.
I leave Leighton to answer Monroe and lean into Callie. “Can I talk to you before we head out to dinner?” This time I act nicely instead of taking her by her hand and dragging her away from her friend.
“Look who learned his manners.” Leighton laughs.
Callie smiles. “Okay, sure.” She slides her hand into mine. “Let’s go check that dishwasher.” She winks.
I feel as if I’m about to be sick. She probably thinks I want to celebrate my win, and I hate that I’m about to blindside her.
“We’ll meet you there,” I tell Leighton.
I really hope Penelope and Hazel will not be joining us for dinner.
We walk out of the stadium, and thankfully it’s a weeknight, so not as many fans are hanging around the bars and restaurants.
The sidewalk isn’t that busy, and I want to spit the words out, but they clog my throat.
I should wait until we reach the condo anyway, since I’m not sure how Callie will react.
“People were going crazy. Did you hear them all cheering and yelling for you?” she says.
God, she’s oblivious, and I fucking hate it.
“A little, but I end up with tunnel vision when I’m in the zone like that.”
She tugs on my hand. “Hey, be happy. You should be on a high.”
“It’s just my job.” I’m struck for a moment because I’ve never once thought of baseball as just my job. It’s always been my priority, my number one, my life. There is nothing bigger or better than who I am on the mound.
“And you deserve a raise after that performance.”
I shake my head.
“Foster, you came in during the seventh with bases loaded and the leading run on third. No outs. You got out of the inning with three strikeouts.” She’s practically jumping at my side with excitement.
Definitely way happier than me. “Then you came back in the eighth and not one player got to first base. And don’t make me talk about the ninth. It was a stellar performance.”
Thankfully, we reach the condo, and I don’t even bother to look at the cardboard sign because I just want to get this over with.
“I’m gonna be honest, I expected a little more than this. I give you a blow job, and you pitch amazing, and you’re still grumpy?” She stops outside the door of our condo while I enter the code into the keypad. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”
We step inside, and I shut the door, flicking the lock, then rest my back against the door.
“I slept with Penelope.” Getting it out doesn’t feel as good as I thought.
Her smile and excitement are doused like a bucket of water on a flame. “Oh…” She turns and heads to her room, but stops in the doorway and circles back around. Facing me, her eyes meet mine, strong and steadfast. “When?”
Oh fuck. I’m an idiot.
“No, I mean… Jesus, I knew I’d fuck this up.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Not recently. I’m sorry, I should have phrased that differently.”
She shakes her head. “It’s fine. It’s not like we’re anything, right? I mean, we’re just co-parenting, but I did think we had agreed—”
“Callie, it was back in college.” I push off the door. “I swear to you. It was so long ago.”
She nods. “Oh, okay then.”
I take her hands, and she lets me lead her to the couch.
“Her dad was my coach in college, and it was a short-lived attempt at a relationship. I, of course, fucked it up and was a total dick to her. But I wanted you to know. I didn’t want you in the dark when she obviously knows what happened. It felt unfair to you.”
She’s staring at her hands, but she nods.
“I knew you slept with other people. I have no right to be mad, but…” She looks up, and there’s not really hurt in her eyes but something else I can’t figure out.
“I thought you meant now and… well…” She shakes her head.
“I mean, it’s fine. I’ve slept with people.
Not anyone you know, but clearly, we’ve both had partners.
It’s a little weird since I’ll have to see her and stuff, but we aren’t anything anyway, right? ”
I take her hands and want to tell her we are something.
Ask if she feels the same way I do because I’ve never felt anything like it before.
But she doesn’t need my bullshit while she’s pregnant.
And what if this doesn’t last? What if right after I tell her, those feelings disappear?
I’ve never been a person someone could rely on.
Never been the kind of person someone wanted to stay for.
“I’m sorry.” I grip her hands. “That you have to deal with this.”
“She’s really sweet.”
I nod. “She’s a nice person. At least she was.
I’ve barely spoken to her since I came to Chicago.
And I want you to know, and maybe you don’t care, but she was just some girl in college.
It was a really fucked-up time for me. We went to the same school, and Decker was in college the next town over, and…
I thought my brother and I were getting our relationship back on track, but… ”
She looks at me and waits.
So I tell her the whole story—Decker, Penelope, and me. How messy and shitty that part of my life was.
Callie seems to understand better after she hears the story. “So you weren’t in love with her?”
I let out a somewhat caustic laugh. “Callie, I’ve never loved anyone.”
That flicker in her eye burns out, and her usual shine dulls. My gut twists because she was probably hoping I’d say I had loved someone before.
“I’ll love our baby though. I know that for certain.”
She gives me a sad sort of smile. “I know.” Then she kisses my cheek. “Thank you for telling me. Let’s go see our friends now.” She stands, putting my face level with her belly.
It’s growing, the swell becoming more pronounced. I want to put my hands on it as I always do, but this doesn’t seem like the right time.
“Just like that?” I ask.
She smiles and nods. “One for one?”
“Sure.”
“When I thought you slept with her last week, I was going to move out, and this whole thing was going to end. I have feelings about what you just told me of course, but I can’t be upset, Foster. I know there were women before me.”
Sure, there were women, but Penelope is really the only relationship I ever gave a go. But I keep that to myself, so she doesn’t think I’m too much of a screwup.
“And I really appreciate you wanting to make sure I wasn’t blindsided.” She briefly kisses me on the lips. “That’s what’s most important to me—you put my feelings ahead of your fear of telling me.”
“I was terrified this was all going to end.” I give her one last confession for the night.
“Well, no worries. Now let’s go celebrate your performance. You deserve it.” She takes my hands and urges me up off the couch.
Once I’m standing, I wrap my arms around her, holding her against me. “You’re really a rock star.”
She shakes her head and puts her hand on my chest. “You’re the rock star. Now come on.”
Then she slips out of my arms.
I want to tell her I want to stay here in the condo with her, that I want to be alone with her. But that’s something that couples do, and we aren’t one. It’s just hard to remember sometimes.