Chapter 54
Chapter Fifty-Four
Foster
I go down to Decker’s, having nowhere to go until the stadium is open.
He swings open the door, rubbing his eyes, wearing only his boxers.
“Spare me this early in the morning.” I cover my eyes and walk into his condo.
It’s my first time being in his space. Where’s all the candles and soft lighting? This place is all masculine and dark colors. Nothing is overly neat or organized. There’s some stuff lying around, and mail piled up on the table.
“Why are you here?” he asks, not shutting the door in my face like he should.
“Because you already think I’m an asshole.” I go to his living room and sit on the couch since it’s the same layout as my own condo.
“What did you do?”
“Don’t worry about it. Go back to bed, and if anyone calls, you don’t know where I am.”
“Foster…” He stands over me on the couch. “Did you hurt her?”
“What do you think? Of course I fucking did.” I lie down and turn over, putting the pillow under my head. “Your couch sucks ass.”
I hear him breathing over me for at least a full minute before his bedroom door shuts.
Did I want to come to Decker? Hell no. But I meant what I said, he already thinks I’m an asshole, and it’s the last place anyone will look for me.
As I lie on the couch, I pull my phone out of my pocket and press on Callie’s name.
I desperately want to reach out to her and apologize and tell her I can’t be what she needs. That for one brief moment when she said those words, I wished I was anyone but me. I wished I could be one of those guys who could just confess to her that I feel the same.
But I don’t trust that feeling. Every time I’ve ever loved someone, every time anyone has ever said they love me—they’ve left. My mom, my brother, and even my dad, once I cut him off. And they’re my blood. If your blood doesn’t love you, what hope do I have with someone who’s not?
It’s better this way. Better for Callie.
She can find one of those men who are in tune with their feelings and can tell her how awesome and perfect she is without being paralyzed by the thought of losing her just because he loves her.