Chapter 15 #2
This question has a little edge to it and is a shift from the mostly good-natured but annoying questions from my family. I see Harper elbow Chase, and the two of them are muted for a second while they have a discussion.
I slide my hand to the back of Molly’s neck. Leaning over, I whisper, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she answers, but her voice is shaky.
“I know he’s your brother, but if you need me to step in, I’d be more than happy to.”
Molly tilts her head to look up at me, and her blue eyes are soft. “You’re good at that,” she murmurs, and her attention on me feels really good. Like sunshine I want to fully soak up.
“Good at what?”
“Making me feel safe,” she says.
I’m not sure why this proclamation feels so good, but it does. “Good.”
A throat clears, and I realize how close Molly’s and my faces are. Every person in the room—including the people on screen—is grinning. I shift a little until we’re at a more normal distance. Molly turns back to the screen where Chase and Harper are apparently done arguing.
“I’m not telling Mom and Dad the truth,” Molly says, her voice clear and strong. “I don’t want to make you lie for me. But you don’t talk to them much anyway, so hopefully it won’t be a big deal. If they ask, could you just say you’re in Austin most of the time so you don’t know much?”
Chase sighs. “I suppose.”
At that moment, Jo bursts through the front door. The dogs hop up and start barking as Jo sweeps into the room, delighted to see a roomful of people. She gives everyone in the room a hug, trailed by the dogs, who wag their tails hard enough to send two water glasses spilling.
Jo comes to us last and gives us both the same level of hug she gave everyone else. Meanwhile, the room has gone quiet. Because we promised them we’d tell Jo the truth too.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Jo tells Molly. “I named my unicorn Copernicus. He was some kind of astrologer.”
“I think you mean astronomer, Jojo,” I tell her with a chuckle.
Jo shrugs and gives me a look that tells me not to argue. “Same difference.”
“That’s a perfect name,” Molly says.
I pull Jo up into my lap, trying to ignore the eavesdropping ears all over the room. “We’ve got something we want to talk to you about.”
“Are you having a baby too?” Jo asks, looking thrilled.
Molly makes a choking sound. I laugh. “No. We’re not having a baby.”
“Too bad,” Jo says to Molly. “Then your baby could be best friends with my mom and dad’s baby.”
“True,” Molly says slowly. “Good point.”
“If not a baby, then what?” Jo asks, a little impatiently. “I’m hungry. They had gross chicken nuggets at Anna’s.”
Molly and I exchange a look. My words suddenly dry up in the face of having to confess the truth to a person whose opinion of me matters so greatly.
“Collin and I didn’t tell the whole truth the other day,” Molly says.
Jo’s small face turns to mine. “Daddy says anything that’s not the whole truth is a lie. You lied, Uncle Collin?”
Her shock makes me feel like an absolute degenerate. But it also makes me more certain that telling her now before this goes too far is the best option.
I tug her closer. “Molly and I are just friends,” I explain, though putting it this way doesn’t quite seem to describe what Molly and I are. “We’re not actually dating. That was just pretend.”
“Oh.” Jo seems confused. “But you act like you like each other.”
Someone—James, I think—snorts. I ignore him.
“That’s just it—we’re acting,” I tell her. “Did you know that’s Molly’s new job? She’s going to be acting.”
“If that’s her job, why are you acting too? I don’t get it.”
“No, it’s not my job. It’s kind of hard to explain,” I say, looking to Molly for help.
“Sometimes people pretend to be dating to help with … things,” Molly said.
Jo makes a face. “How does pretending to date help anyone? What kind of help do you need? I can help if you just ask.”
I swear, this is worse than the interrogation we got from my family.
It’s much harder to deal with coming from Jo and her intense directness.
She makes way too much sense and is also unintentionally funny.
But I know from experience not to laugh when she’s being serious, so I do my best to keep it together.
“It’s kind of a grown-up thing,” Pat says, and his help makes me forgive my brother the tiniest bit. “But don’t be surprised if you see them together a lot, holding hands and kiss—”
“Okay, then!” I clap my hands, cutting off Pat, who just negated his forgiveness. “I think Jo understands. So, if any of your friends ask about it, can you just play along that we’re boyfriend-girlfriend?”
Jo gives me a look like I’m a total weirdo. Which is how I’m feeling if I’m totally honest.
“My friends won’t ask. They don’t care what weird things adults are doing.”
Molly laughs. “Well, that’s good, I guess. She puts a hand on Jo’s shoulders. “I’m sorry for not telling you the truth right up front,” she says quietly.
“I’m sorry too,” I add.
“It’s fine.” Jo shrugs. “Though I don’t know why adults make everything so complicated. It’s obvious you both actually like each other, so I don’t know why you don’t just date for real. Is there any dessert?”
Several people in the room have sudden coughing fits, and Molly’s startled eyes meet mine before she quickly turns away.
She looks … guilty. Like she’s been caught.
I thought I was the only one trying to hide real feelings. But maybe not.
Could Jo be right—does Molly have actual feelings for me too?
“And guess what?” Jo says, looking at Molly.
“What?”
“I decided to give Copernicus the unicorn to my baby sister when she’s born.”
Every head in the room snaps to Pat and Lindy.
“You’re having a girl?” Winnie asks just as Harper says, “You found out what you’re having?”
Lindy sniffs, smiling even as tears shine in her eyes. “Yup.”
“We’re having another girl,” Pat says, looking about as pleased as a man can look. “Come here, Jojo.”
Jo runs across the room, which is now filled with sniffles and a whole new energy, and leaps into Pat’s arms. “You’re going to be the best big sister.”
“I am,” Jo agrees.
And then the room becomes a big group hug. A few people are wiping their eyes, including our old man, who’s grinning while tears stream down his face and his chin wobbles on the screen.
As I’m hugging Pat, I see Molly in a three-way embrace with Winnie and Lindy. She looks thrilled. As though this news really is something important to her too. As though she cares.
As though she belongs here just as much as anyone else does.
When our gazes catch across the room, I realize with a deep and slightly disturbing certainty that I want her to be part of this, part of my family. Part of my life.
For real. And even though we’ve barely just begun the charade of dating, I already know it’s not enough for me.