Chapter 12 #3
“I’m going to be your first kiss, Lila Grayson.
Because you go give him the rest. If that’s really what you want.
But I’m going to take this first thing. So that at least ten years down the road when you can’t remember what the fuck the name of the first guy you slept with was, you will remember the first man that kissed you. ”
He knew right then it wasn’t for her. Already knew full well that it was for him, but it was too late to turn back. She wasn’t saying no, she wasn’t running away. She was staring at him, eyes wide, waiting.
He pulled her close, wrapped one hand around the back of her head, the other around her waist as he paused for a moment just to look at her. To suspend the moment. To let it go on, and then on some more. Let the anticipation build.
If he was going to hell, he wanted to know the reason why.
He was about to kiss Lila Grayson, and that was worthy of hellfire.
And do you accept the consequences of these actions?
Hell yeah.
He leaned in just a fraction, his stomach going tight.
His whole body like fire. He was hard. With anticipation, with need, and with desire that was just going to have to go unsatisfied, because he was going to take a little bit.
Yeah, but he wasn’t going to take it all.
Then he lowered his head, and pressed his mouth to hers.
It was so sweet, it was like a sugar bomb burst inside of him.
He groaned, sinking into the kiss much faster than he had intended to, raising both hands so that he could cup her face, tilt her head, and part her lips with his tongue. She made a small, gasping sound, a little squeak like a kitten, and then her tongue slid against his, joining him in the dance.
It was unbearable. It was inevitable.
It was everything a first kiss ought to be.
And yet, everything a first kiss shouldn’t be.
Her first kiss shouldn’t be from him, but he had taken it anyway.
Because the other candidate was even worse, in his opinion, and that had made it feel justified.
He could know that it was wrong and still feel justified. And he absolutely did.
She arched against him, her breasts firm against his chest, and he removed one hand from her face so that he could wrap it around her body again, pull her all the way up against him.
She would be able to feel that he was hard, but he was okay with that. Right now, better sense wasn’t prevailing. Right now, better sense had left the building.
Right now, there was nothing but this. Nothing but the wild, pounding need inside of him, and within that, the desire to show her what it was like when the chemistry was there. When it was hot.
When she mattered to the man that was kissing her, because she did matter to him.
So much, which was why he had held back until this moment.
She sighed then, her arms going around his neck, fingers moving through his hair. She leaned her weight against him, and he released the firm hold his feet had on the ground, let her push him back against the side of the barn.
He put both hands down at her hips, pulled her hard against him then, pushed his hips forward against hers so that she could feel really how hard he was.
She moaned, a desperate, needy sound, and he sucked her lower lip between his teeth, bit her just gently.
She whimpered, and he pulled away for a moment, kissing the corner of her lips, kissing down her neck, and back up again. She shifted, and he did too, putting his thigh between her legs, and she began to wiggle her hips, riding his thigh to the rhythm of that kiss.
He gathered her up as closely as he possibly could, so that they fit together in every way, flexed his thighs so that she could ride him with even more force.
Suddenly, she pulled her mouth away from his, her head falling back, her breathing short and sharp. She was close.
She was close, and he wanted to take her there. All the way.
But then it was like she came back to herself, and she pulled away from him. Breathing heavily, her eyes wild.
She put her hand on her lips, like she was checking to make sure they were still there or something.
“Thanks,” she said, her voice shaking. He didn’t think he had ever heard Lila Grayson’s voice shake before.
“Thanks?”
“Yeah. For the first kiss. The experience will come in handy in a couple of days.”
Then she turned and walked away from him, walked back into the barn. In hell, he couldn’t go back in there yet.
Anybody that looked at him would know how turned on he was, would know exactly what had just been going on out here. Though he suspected that anybody that looked too closely at Lila would know too.
All that taken into consideration, Nolan decided not to go back into the party.
Instead, he walked around the side of the barn, and headed back out to the parking lot. Lila, Marlowe and Cody would have no trouble catching a ride back to another place on the ranch.
And he needed to clear his head.
Before he went inside, did something really crazy.
Hell, it was funny that he was acting like what he had done had been crazy. Because it sure as hell had been.
He’d just had a make out session with Lila Grayson, and now he was sending her off into another man’s bed.
Nolan had hated himself in a variety of ways throughout his life. But he’d never hated himself quite like this.