Chapter 12 - Saturday’s Confusion
Chapter 12
Saturday’s Confusion
Noah was in his bookshop an hour earlier than usual on Saturday. He started the coffee and made sure all the cups were clean. A few of the walkers drank the coffee and put the empty cups back as they did at home.
He even scrubbed the windows and organized the magazines. Then he tried to think where he and Cora would sit to talk when she came down. Maybe she’d stop to have a cup of coffee. She’d done that before. No one would think anything of it.
After last night on the roof and their kiss in front of her door, he had to see her again. He had to hold her. Touch her. Make plans for what comes next.
He almost laughed out loud. Deep down he wanted to see her to know last night really happened.
He’d never been a dreamer. He had rarely wasted time on fantasies. Those things were not allowed in his house growing up. But just this one time he let his mind fly.
Maybe they could be a couple. She had kissed him full-out. She’d called him her Noah.
Maybe they could eat dinner together sometimes. Who knows, he might go to church with her tomorrow? And, maybe, they’d kiss goodnight so often it became a routine.
He stared out the bookstore window. The day was dark and rainy, so Noah could lock up early and he and Cora could start their date. He might suggest driving out of the valley and eating dinner miles away from the people who knew them. A restaurant with candlelight and soft music would be perfect. No drive-thru. No truck stop. No fast food.
For the first time since he left New York he wished he could take his date out to a fancy restaurant. But a cold front moving in made Noah think about just going to the square café tonight. If the wind slowed, he thought of taking her to the roof after eating, or maybe he’d suggest they step into one of their apartments. If they did, they’d be warm and he could see her clearly as they talked.
“My date, my Cora,” he said to himself, and shook his head. She wasn’t his lady. A few kisses on the roof in the moonlight didn’t change anything really.
If he could just kiss her goodnight in the hallway, he’d tell himself that would be enough. He’d worn loneliness so long it felt like a second skin.
It seemed all his life he’d rationed happiness. Only one piece of dessert. You can check out one book. That’s enough for now, Noah. One ride on the merry-go-round. One try, one taste, one time. It seemed his entire life had been restricted.
Those few minutes they’d shared beneath the moon last night seemed enchanted, another world hidden beneath the ordinary. But she’d said she wanted to see him again, and he wanted more of life for the first time. “More of Cora,” he whispered.
In truth, Noah wanted Cora near not for one or two dates but longer, maybe forever. He wanted to hold her hand as they walked and talked about everything and nothing at all.
Usually, his first dates in college ended in a quick kiss, but after a few more study-dates and long coffee meetings, his date would end with her waving and yelling as she jumped from his car, “Had a great time. Thanks. See you around.”
He was frequently still standing by the car when he realized the girl had just broken up with him.
Holding Cora Lee eight hours ago seemed more a dream than reality in the daylight. But, it had felt so right.
Noah glanced at the clock, knowing this day was going to drag. He didn’t care where they went tonight; he just felt the adrenaline rush in his veins.
The last Saturday of the month Cora would usually run errands for her father. She’d visit her two great-aunts, pick up Bear’s groceries for the month, do his laundry.
Noah knew this because next Wednesday Katherine would drill her to make sure all was done.
Cora and Noah were both creatures of habits. They both made lists, but today he didn’t want a list. All he wanted to do was think about tonight. What to say? What to do?
Bear once heard him say he wished time would fly by. Bear had frowned and murmured, “Never wish your life away, son.”
Noah glanced at the clock again, 8:49 A.M. Time to open the bookstore.
If Cora didn’t come down soon, they wouldn’t have time to talk. Saturday was usually his busiest day.
He looked at the stairs for the tenth time. No one. No Cora rushing down the steps as if she was tap dancing. Weekdays to school in her plain dresses, Saturdays in jeans to do errands, and Noah usually watched her all dressed up in her Sunday best. If it wasn’t raining, she’d walk to church.
Today she’d have on jeans and a sweater. Looking more like a girl than a woman of almost thirty.
He realized he’d measured every day by Cora. For three years he’d watched her rush down. Sometimes she’d smile at him and wave as she reached the bottom where the left glass door turned into the shop and the right door went outside.
The browsers, the talkers, and now and then the readers would soon flood in. All he needed now was time to make plans. How he wanted to kiss her like they did last night. He could still taste her lips.
This morning they needed a few minutes to decide what time they’d leave or where they’d have dinner. He’d already asked for the date last night when he ran back to her room for one last kiss and she’d already said yes. If she hadn’t changed her mind, or had something come up, or caught a cold last night, then tonight would be his chance to dive deep into who she was. He wanted to explore all her hopes and dreams and imagine how their lives meshed together.
8:56 A.M. Noah started pacing. Maybe he should go upstairs and make sure she was all right. If she didn’t come down now, all she’d have time to say was Hello or See you around. Which, he’d learned in college, meant goodbye.
One thing that had been on his mind since the wee hours this morning was how she might react when he told her about his plan to be a writer. Would she call him crazy? Would she see him as a loser? Or maybe, just maybe, she’d believe in him and that would make all the difference.
Noah sighed as he looked out his store windows. The first customer was getting out of her thirty-year-old station wagon.
Mrs. Hattie and her half dozen kids marched in, with the mom yelling what they better not do. She thought Noah’s bookstore was a playground. Her snotty kids went wild while the always tired mom drank coffee and looked through magazines she’d never buy.
Finally, he saw Cora slowly walking down. Jeans and a sweater. As she reached the bottom, she opened the bookshop door.
Noah’s mood was instantly bright, even in the midst of screaming kids. She smiled and walked directly toward him.
There was no time for them to talk, time had run out. People were in the shop.
When she reached him, they both looked at the joggers rushing in, dropping purses, jackets, and water bottles big enough to hydrate a marching band. All eight had thin blue plastic ponchos with BIG BUS stamped on them. Clare Clump went to London a few years ago and brought all her jogging friends one.
Noah didn’t even manage a smile for them as his frustration grew.
His new love slipped her hand into his and tugged him behind the first mahogany bookshelf. All the joggers were talking at once without even noticing the teacher and the bookshop owner had disappeared.
Her lips touched his for only a second then she said, “Meet here at six. You pick the place.” A smile lingered on her face. “I just want to be with you.”
He nodded and she was gone as the bell over the door chimed again. Noah couldn’t move as she disappeared. For a moment he could still feel her hand in his.
“That was easy,” he said to himself as Mrs. Hattie yelled that she was leaving. Suddenly he was in a race to make sure she didn’t forget even one child.
As her offspring lined up, Noah couldn’t stop smiling. I got a date and a kiss, he thought. Everything is working out. She didn’t say “see you around.”
It was midafternoon before Noah was once again alone with his thoughts. He’d gone over their time together in his mind repeatedly, worrying about the right things to say tonight.
Noah realized that words weren’t as important as he thought. They’d said little, but felt much. Still, he wanted to know everything about her. A dozen questions came to mind, but he couldn’t think how to ask them without feeling pushy or invasive.
Timothy the mailman rushed in, dropped the mail on the counter, poured his own coffee in his own mug and murmured something about rain coming in as he walked out.
Noah took a deep breath and said to himself, “I got a lady. I got a date.” Saying it made it more real.
He’d thought about what would happen if things went much further than kissing tonight. He had to find a way to let her know he wanted a real love. Not a maybe tonight, or maybe for a week, he wanted a forever.
At five o’clock he locked the door and went up to get ready. The day had turned darker and looked like it might rain the night away. No one would face the storm to buy a book.
He thought about what Cora had meant when she said she wanted it all.
He’d slept with a few girls his freshman year. Right now, he couldn’t remember their last names. And the one night he’d shared with them had been more than enough. He never called them and they didn’t even bother to wave when they saw him. Six months later he met one at a party and she reintroduced herself.
At one minute until six, he heard rain tap on the window as he sat in the shadows of the bookshop. The lights blinked, then went out.
He tried to think positive. If the slow rain stopped by the time she came down, they’d just walk to the café. He’d carry an umbrella in case the rain started again and the lights might be back on soon.
He heard her walking toward him in shadows. Lightning lit up the sky as if arguing with Noah’s idea that they walk. Almost like a primal instinct Noah reached for her and she melted into him. Her hand cupped his face and he smiled into her palm.
When the lightning vanished as fast as it came, he asked, “You frightened?”
She smiled. “I’m a Texas girl. I’m not afraid of nature. How about you, big city man?”
He was silent, then took a deep breath. “If I am afraid, will you stay just a little longer right where you are?”
“Of course. But not long, it’s cold down here.”
Neither said another word as they watched the lightning show outside start once again. He moved his hand down her back. She wasn’t afraid of him but he decided he should step away. Go slow. Remember everything he was supposed to do, everything he’d planned to do to make this perfect.
“Cora,” he said. “We don’t have to go out. I’m happy right here.”
Rain washed past the window in waves. Only a fool would go out if the storm got worse. Noah knew the date was ruined. They’d be soaked if they even tried to run to his car.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he kissed her forehead. “I was so looking forward to our date. I wanted to take you to eat somewhere nice so we could really talk. I even thought we might drive over to the Someday Valley Bar. I heard they had a real Nashville band playing tonight.”
Quiet Cora suddenly pushed away from him and held out her hand. With the storm rattling the windows, Cora led him, without a word, upstairs using the lightning flash as their only light. The entire town slept in midnight blue.
Once inside her apartment, Cora said, “I have soup I can heat on the gas stove. The burners will give off enough light for us to eat and talk.”
“Sounds perfect. While you start, I’ll run to my place and get candles. My mother mails candles, Halloween candy and a basket of fruit every fall.”
When he got back, the soup was on the stove. Noah spread out seven fat little figures about six inches tall and dressed in red and green.
As he lit their hats, she asked, “Santa’s helpers?”
“No, I think they’re Snow White’s dwarfs that Mom re-gifted.”
They settled in with candlelight. As she stirred the can of soup, he moved his hands around her waist and lightly leaned his body against her back. He felt drunk having her so close.
When she pulled away to pour the soup, he felt the loss of her warmth. She didn’t meet his eyes. The fragile magic was put on hold.
They drank the soup from mugs and relaxed on the couch. He told her why he moved to Honey Creek and she shared the town’s history. She mentioned the Apache legend books that had been burned years ago thanks to a traveling preacher. Some folks tried to save at least one of the books from the fire because the stories held the town’s myths that had been told over fireplaces for hundreds of years by the Native Americans.
This night seemed born for telling legends.
She even told him about Holly Rim’s dark curses as his writer’s mind sparked ideas.
For as long as anyone could remember, people who went near the rim vanished. Some say the woods and rough cliffs swallowed them up. Others claimed someone or something killed them if they got too close to a secret only the Apache knew. Still others said locals found openings in the wall of the rim and they never came back once they passed through, as if it was some kind of portal.
At campfires, kids told stories of a grim reaper who lived among the holly and caught bad little children and drank their blood, then tossed them in one of the caves so deep that not even the smell of rot could climb out.
There was also a rumor that some have seen a native woman who guards the land and lets no one enter. No one investigates the area because they are afraid. The legends protect her.
As the storm raged, Noah lifted a quilt and wrapped them in it. As an hour passed, she settled in beside him as if they’d been together for years. When she rested her head on his shoulder, he kissed her gently. Not a first kiss that held hesitation but a forever kiss that would grow.
Noah decided now was the time to share with her his desire to write. Nervous energy climbed his spine and he cleared his throat and then chickened out a little. Instead, he asked her a question. “Can I ask you how you can be so patient with your sister’s rambling complaints?”
Cora was silent for a moment, and he felt a slight smile against his forehead. “Well, it’s not what you think. It’s not so much that I put up with her, it’s that I really feel sorry for her.”
Noah was surprised at that. “Why?”
“Kat has spent her whole life chasing happiness. She’s chased it with her looks, with husbands, with money, and she still doesn’t understand why she can’t find it.”
Noah turned that over in his mind. He hadn’t thought about it from that perspective and it was eye-opening.
Cora continued, “Now, I know that I don’t have a perfect life, but I have a very satisfied life. I love to teach, I am glad I get to spend time with my family, even Katherine, and I know I can choose when and how to live. My happiness isn’t dependent on anyone or anything because I carry it in here.” She touched his chest. “Happiness is never something you find, it’s something you create.”
They sat in silence for a while as he mustered his courage. Finally he began, “There is something that I’ve never shared with anyone. Is it okay if I share it with you?”
Cora nodded.
“Ever since I left New York I have tried to write a novel. I haven’t made much progress, but I’m committed to making that part of my life.” He braced himself and looked away, preparing for what might come. His mother’s constant criticism and his father’s frequent barbs flooded his mind. It seemed as if time crawled and he slowly turned back to await his fate.
Cora’s sparkling eyes meet his and her sweet voice drifted over his soul. “I think that is a wonderful goal and the perfect career for you. I know you will write a book that will change lives and I can’t wait to see it.” Her small hand covered his. “How can I help?”
“You can believe.”
For the first time, his belief that he could really create this, the life he so desperately wanted, suddenly seemed within reach. Her belief was the safety net he’d always longed for.
He could now say, this felt like home. She felt like home.
He’d finally found home.