7. Deacon
DEACON
The hospital is buzzing with excitement, the waiting room bursting with joy, as I finally join everyone under the harsh fluorescent lights.
In a shocking turn of events, Arden and Ellison both went into labor on the same night, the sisters both welcoming little girls into the world, which makes my heart grow impossibly larger.
I don’t know Ellison or her husband, Montana, all that well, but I know them well enough to be thrilled for them. And selfishly, it’s exactly the kind of news I need to distract me from my run-in with Tanner, my head and heart not at all in agreement on what we should do.
“I’ve never chased anyone a day in my life. I don’t know how but I’ll figure it out. Because this,”—he motions between us—“can’t be done. I’m tired of being in my own way, and I’m sorry I was too scared to say yes.”
I’d wanted to hurdle over the bar and cup his face in my hands and kiss the hell out of him, the admission more revealing than anything I’ve gotten out of him in the last several months. The mix of fire and determination was sexy as hell too.
But why now?
Jude had been vague over the phone when he called earlier, biting back the tension as he got Arden into his truck when her water broke in the middle of Boots on Bar and Grill.
He told me he’d left the bar in capable hands and asked if I could just close everything down before coming to the hospital.
The capable hands had been Bodhi and Tanner—not that I’d seen Bodhi—and I can’t figure out if that makes tonight better or worse.
Tanner had been the last thing on my mind when I walked in, but my eyes had been drawn immediately to him like a beacon in the night. I wanted to be annoyed, but why? I’ve been pining after him since I saw him in Vetted Paws the day I went there with Jude.
And now he wants me.
Why not before?
Unhelpfully, my brain replays his parting declaration. And that’s what it was—a declaration. Shoulders back and expression intense, Tanner had stood confidently in front of me and laid it all out.
“I’m still scared, Deacon. I’m terrified, actually, but you’re right. You should be with your family, and I need to figure out how to be what you need.”
My lips twitch up into a smile as my brother comes out into the waiting room and wraps me in a hug. Jude’s never been overly affectionate but it’s radiating from him now.
He’s a dad.
And I couldn’t be prouder of my big brother.
“We want you to meet your niece,” he whispers, his eyes wet as he pulls back to look at me.
“I’d be honored.”
“Miss Salem Harmony Rhodes,” Arden says as she places the tiny pink bundle into my arms, and I can’t wipe the tears fast enough from my cheeks.
Harmony.
After Mom.
We lost her so young, and maybe if we’d been older things would have looked different, but to us she was perfect.
Bright and beautiful with the biggest heart and smile.
Dad always said Jude got his scowl and I got Mom’s light—the kind that follows a person wherever they go, banishing the darkness and drawing people to them.
I thought I was just bein’ friendly.
“Seemed like the right thing to do,” Jude murmurs and I nod, not trusting my voice as he stares at Arden now resting in the hospital bed. Arden must be exhausted, but as I look down at the sweet angel in my arms, I know with all my heart she was worth it.
“I’m proud of you,” I tell Jude, but he just shakes his head as he scrubs his hands over his face.
“I didn’t do anything; Arden did all the work.”
“You know what I mean,” I whisper, brushing my thumb along Salem’s cheek. “You didn’t shy away when Arden tried to run. You fought for her,”—meeting his gaze I nod toward his daughter—“for both of them.”
He’s quiet for a moment, sitting back in the hospital chair and crossing his feet at the ankles.
“Did somethin’ happen?” he asks quietly, and I huff in silent disbelief. Of course he would know something is wrong.
“Nothin’ that matters right now.”
“D.”
“Tanner stayed at the bar.”
I can hear his nails scratch along the stubble on his jaw as he works through that statement. “Forgot about that.”
“It’s fine.”
“I wasn’t thinkin’,” he admits, his tone filled with remorse, but I shake my head.
“You needed to focus on Arden. You did what you were supposed to.”
“I could have given you a heads-up.”
“The surprise was probably better. I didn’t have time to think what I wanted to say, just told him I was done goin’ after him.”
Jude lifts one eyebrow in question. “And?”
“And he said he’s not done.” Rolling my lips inward, I try like hell to cover my smile. It feels good to be wanted, but just as quickly my smile falls. Because even though Tanner said he still wants something to happen between us doesn’t mean he’ll follow through.
“You believe him?”
“I dunno,” I admit, rocking Salem a little when she starts to squirm, “but I drew my line and now I have to wait and see what happens.”
He looks like he wants to say something else, but he dips his head in solidarity, and for now, that’s enough.