31. Tanner
TANNER
DEACON: Will I see you tonight?
TANNER: No, we’re on the way to go pick up as many dogs as we can from a hoarding call—I have no idea when we’ll be back
DEACON: Tomorrow?
TANNER: I have Briggs the next two days
TANNER: What about after that?
DEACON: I told Jude I’d help out at the bar
Fuck.
“What’s wrong?” Sorren asks without taking his eyes off the road as he guns it and merges onto the highway.
Blowing out a breath, I glance at the passing scenery as I try to formulate an answer that doesn’t feel like I’m insecure and needy—which to be fair, I totally am.
“It’s just going to be a few days until I can see Deacon and—”
“You’re not spiraling.”
He says firmly like he knows that’s exactly what I’m doing. But really, how could I not? This has always been my life—things are going great and then the rug gets pulled out from under me and I’m left reeling.
DEACON: Maybe we can figure out lunch or coffee
TANNER: Okay
“I’m going to have to tell Cal he won’t be able to bring the kids by until we get the dogs settled,” I say instead, trying to distract myself even though it is relevant.
Cal has been coaching the varsity boys cross-country team, and a couple of times a week they come before school to take some of the dogs on their morning run.
It’s been great for everyone involved, but it’ll be too stressful to have that much commotion over the next several days.
“Don’t change the subject.”
“I’m not,” I fire back, huffing as I send a quick text to Cal and let my phone drop into my lap. “Dating is hard and it feels impossible right now finding time.”
“I thought things were really good.”
“They are,” I whine. “That’s the problem. They’re so good but that’s because things have been working, but I already miss him. How can I miss him? It hasn’t been that long.”
“Distance makes the heart—”
“Don’t give me bullshit platitudes.”
He snorts as he gets off the next exit, slowing his speed as he follows the curve of the off ramp.
DEACON: I know now isn’t the time but when things settle down Arden asked about doing dinner with them
When things slow down…
Sure.
TANNER: That sounds good
“Tanner…”
“I know what you’re going to say and I’m not like you, okay? You and Rhea fought for each other. I get it—but this is me. This is therapy on and off for years and journaling and trying to be a good example for Briggs when I don’t know who the hell I am half the time.”
“You’re a great fucking dad and friend. You run the shit out of our business and you show up even when you’re uncomfortable because you’re dedicated to doin’ the hard things,” he says as he throws the truck into park behind a patrol car and turns to face me.
“It’s okay that you’re figuring things out, and it’s okay that you’re feelin’ the way you do, but if you think I’m gonna let you sabotage this for the hell of it you’re out of your god damn mind. ”
It’s impossible not to laugh by the end of his little rant, his permanent look of annoyance when anything like this comes up almost endearing.
And I’m thankful for it.
Because it’s nice to know I have someone who cares enough to call me out on my bullshit—especially now.
“Thanks.”
“Sure.” He glances at the house and the people milling around the yard. “You got your head on straight? I think we’re takin’ fifteen so I need you to be with me on this.”
“I am.”
“Good. Text your boyfriend and let’s go.”
Without a glance back, he pushes out of the truck and moves to the group of people gathered by the front door as I grab my phone.
TANNER: We’re here and it’s going to be a long night
DEACON: Be safe
TANNER: I will
DEACON: The second you’re free I want you naked in my bed
TANNER: I need to go—I can’t have a hard-on right now
DEACON: Just saying…
At least that’s something to look forward to.
But for now, it’s time to get to work.
Any hope I had of sneaking in a visit with Deacon was doused the minute Sorren and I stepped into the house to retrieve the dogs. It was chaos with people and dogs everywhere and no time to ease anyone into what we needed to do.
Two other rescues were on-site to help, but in the end we’d taken the majority of the aggressive dogs and the ones in need of immediate care. The growth and support we’ve nurtured over the last several years has ensured we can do this.
We can take the tough cases.
We can save the ones that others deem hopeless.
Like the pit bull staring back at me with her one good eye.
She’d lost the other when she was a puppy, the sweet thing carrying the scars of her past, marring her gray and white coat.
She didn’t have a name when she got here but I’d settled on Daisy, and despite my initial reluctance, I know she’s coming home with me when it’s time.
In the last week, I’ve barely seen the inside of my house. The only exception was an overnight with Briggs and as many hours as I could manage here and there to see my kid. Deacon had fallen in my priorities, and despite his reassurance that it was fine, it’s left me unsettled.
Can I really give him everything he needs?
So far, Vetted Paws has worked primarily the way it has because I’ve been able to cover the extra hours.
We have help and employees, sure, but work doesn’t just stop with the dogs.
We have our social media and website to maintain, interviews to keep us at the front of everyone’s mind, ordering food and materials, vetting adopters, and a whole host of other things that have become too much to effectively maintain.
“What are you still doing here?” Sorren says, sticking his head into the office before checking the black sport watch on his wrist. “You should have left hours ago.”
“We gotta hire people,” I admit, throwing my pen onto the desk and leaning back in the chair until it creaks. “I’m fucking tired.”
“How many?”
“Realistically?” When he nods I start counting off on my fingers.
“We talked about internships for high school students but maybe it’s time we start looking at the college too.
We need at least two full-time to care for the dogs, and one for social media—someone who understands trends because this shit is terrible. ”
Sorren chuffs out a laugh. “What else?”
“I’d love a team that goes out and picks up dogs. I know we talked last year about starting another shelter, and I think it’s time we make it happen. We can expand here—and we should—but we’re going to saturate the area before long.”
“I’ll get with Bodhi about that guy in North Carolina—Roman, I think.
He’s a Marine—got out not too long ago. I don’t know the details but I’ll work on it.
Figure out what we need here and we’ll come up with a plan.
The vet is releasing two of the dogs in the morning, so I need to be here for that. ”
“I’m here for another hour at least.”
“Tanner.”
“I know. And I’d love to go home but this is what we agreed to when we started this. It was sustainable when our lives were different and we were just starting out. I’ll make the changes to get us both some time off, but we just need to tough it out a bit longer.”
“Fine, but don’t be too late.”
“Yes, Dad.”
He growls at me before turning for the door and stomping out of the office, a smile stretching across my face at his aggravation.
The reprieve is short-lived but appreciated as I glance at the papers in front of me.
Most can wait, but there are more than a few that have to be handled tonight before I leave.
With my priorities identified, I pick up my phone and type out a message.
TANNER: Another late night for me, I’m sorry
TANNER: Can I see you tomorrow?
DEACON: You don’t need to be sorry. I’ll make tomorrow work just let me know what time
TANNER: I’ll know better in the morning
DEACON: Make sure you get some rest because I have plans for you
TANNER: Already?
DEACON: You better believe it