37. Deacon
DEACON
“Then take me.”
Fucking hell.
It takes two full breaths before I trust myself to grab the condom, my body already strung tight and ready to snap just looking at Tanner offering himself to me. He’s everything.
He’s my everything.
There will never be anyone else for me but Tanner Holiday.
The sentiment plays on repeat in my head as I coat the condom with lube before pushing my slickened fingers into his ass again. He sucks in a breath, stilling for only a beat before he’s moaning and grinding back against my hand.
So greedy.
“I’m gonna love feeling you strangle my dick with this perfect ass,” I tell him, my palm coming down on one cheek as I pull my fingers from him and line myself up with his hole.
“Fuck.”
“That’s it,” I murmur. “Relax for me, baby.”
Tanner sucks in a breath as I push a little inside him, his body tensing and his arms shaking where he’s braced on the bed.
“Keep going,” he grits out as I reach around and wrap my hand around his length, stroking slowly as I push in a little more. “Oh—oh shit.”
It takes a minute, my hands gripping and massaging his cock and ass before he’s able to take all of me, his head now rested on his forearms on the mattress and his backside up in the air with my dick nestled inside his tight channel.
“Look at you,” I manage, rolling my hips and jerking him off as my fingertips trail up and down his spine. “So damn beautiful,” I praise, pulling most of the way out before plunging back in.
“Deacon.”
His hands claw at the comforter as he starts pushing tentatively back into me, meeting my thrusts with his own.
“Take what you need, Sweetheart. Show me how bad you needed my dick inside you.”
Tanner cries out, his back arching, and he moans as I swipe my thumb over the head of his cock, smearing the precum and pulling another whimper from his lips.
I love you.
I don’t dare say the words out loud but I hear them with every thrust, every moan, and every beat of my heart.
“Fuck, Deacon, oh fuck, baby, I’m—”
I wish I could see his face as he rides out his orgasm, the blissed-out expression addicting when I suck his cock.
But this…even the small glimpses I get will live rent free in my head.
Tanner comes hard and fast, his release making him loud and needy as he continues pushing back into me, my dick caught in a vise grip that has me spilling my load into the condom way before I’m ready.
He milks me, pulling every ounce of pleasure from both of us in the process.
Grunting as I keep myself buried deep inside him, I let my eyelids fall shut and savor the perfection that lives in this moment.
Labored breathing fills the room, his cum covering my hand and undoubtedly the mattress while mine fills the condom inside him.
“You’re incredible, Tanner. I’ve never—”
The words get stuck in my throat, as I try to be as gentle as I can as I pull out of him. Tanner stills, sucking in a ragged breath before rolling onto his back and covering his face with his hands.
“I’ve never either,” he quips and I snort, motioning toward the condom as he meets my eyes and waves me off. “I’ll be here.”
Shaking my head, I make quick work of cleaning up, returning to the bedroom to find Tanner exactly how I left him.
“Are you all right?” I ask quietly, not wanting to startle him as I perch on the edge of the bed.
“Why aren’t you lying down?”
“I was going to ask if you wanted to shower?”
“Bold of you to assume I can stand right now.”
Snickering, I climb over him and pull his back to my front, anchoring him to me with my arm around his waist.
“Is this better?”
“Perfect.”
“You definitely are.”
“No need to butter me up; you already got me naked,” he murmurs sleepily, his legs tangled with mine. He’s adorable, the man I love sated in my arms.
Maybe I shouldn’t tell him, but it feels like too big of a moment to ignore. It wasn’t just about the sex; it was the million little moments that led us here—the push and pull and the abundance of trust and belief that we’d make it.
“Tanner?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you,” I whisper, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. His breath hitches as I hold him tighter. “You don’t have to say it back. I just need you to know.”
“I do; I just need the post-orgasmic haze to lift before I can say it.”
He squeezes my hand, an acknowledgment of his words that are more than I expected.
And for now, they’re more than enough.