Chapter 41
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
AIRIK
Airik bellowed beneath the river’s surface until his vision blacked out. Only an inescapable instinct for survival forced him to the surface for air.
Nora. Nora. Nora.
She couldn’t be purged from him. She had become the very thing that sustained him, more vital than the sleep that came so easily when she rested beside him.
For a long time after crawling out of the water, he lay on the riverbank, staring at the stars and the falling atmospheric processors. Warm wind blew over him, drying his hair and rousing sensations on his skin that he knew could only be soothed by Nora.
By the time he returned to the bridge, Lucky sat some distance away on a rock outcropping and Nora had the bedroll’s blanket pulled over her head.
Lying beside her, less than an arm’s length away, he watched the slight rise and fall of her body beneath the rough-woven fabric.
She felt as far from him now as she had been on Earth.
When she’d been nothing more to him but a single life in the spray of stars of the universe.
Now she occupied his entire world, and everything that mattered to him had been reduced to a bump beneath a Veynari-issued blanket. He wanted to wrap her in it and keep her forever.
But all that awaited him was an empty future, devoid of Nora, in which he’d search for glimmers of her in everything that he did. The deep brown of her hair, the softness of her voice, the pink in her lips. Her face—even her okays and sorries.
Knowing she’d be asleep, he leaned in close enough to catch her scent.
It relaxed him enough to speak the truth of his heart.
“I am sorry, demon eyes,” he whispered to her, though the word didn’t come close to the shame he needed to atone for.
“You make me want to forget what I am. So I can be the one to take your sadness—to fix it. But I can never forget. Always there. In my mind. The things I’ve done and the things I will be made to do. ”
The pit of sorrow he’d kept sealed for years burst open, breathtaking and crushing. A sudden burning prickle stung his eyes, jolting him to sit up. Moisture trickled down his cheek. Then, another warm drop followed the path of the first.
He caught a rogue drop—a bright and blue glowing tear.
Disbelieving, his arm dropped. He thought he’d succeeded in killing these.
Lying back down, he turned away from her, his mind in disarray.
Untouched. Untaken. Unconquered.
His heart responded, the pounding in his ears clear: Nora. Nora. Nora.
Something soft and warm slid around his waist, settling on his chest. He tried to turn, but Nora tightened her hold, stopping him.
“I learned about this concept—the multiverse.” Nora spoke against his back, the movement of her lips igniting him. “It was in a documentary. Do you know what a multiverse is?”
He didn’t move. Even her weak human eyes would see his tears in the dark if he turned.
“They’re parallel universes,” she continued. “All existing at the same time. Some with alternate versions of ourselves with the tiniest differences. Like, I’d be the same, but instead of an inventory tech, I would be a pilot. Or maybe instead of chocolate, I’d prefer vanilla ice cream.”
Airik held still, afraid that if he moved too quickly, the world would implode.
“Maybe in one of those universes you’d be a gardener.” She chuckled to herself. “I can see that—you taking care of plants, being gentle with roses. You wouldn’t be a morazir. You’d be something else—whatever you want. What do you think you’d be in one of those other worlds?”
Yours. Only yours. I don’t want to be anything else.
She took a deep breath, pressing her forehead against his back.
“You’re right—there’s something wrong with me.
But here, with you, I’ve felt a little more okay than I have in a while.
Maybe not enough to ‘fix’ me, but enough to make me wish I were someone else, too.
” She pressed harder into him. “I know what I’m about to say is wrong and totally selfish, but…
I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you.
I know I don’t have the right to ask, but…
do you think…we could pretend we’re in another universe?
One where you’re not…what you are? And I’m not who I am?
So I can have you.” She pressed her lips to his shoulder blades, fire spreading from her kiss into his soul. “Please. Just for a little while?”
He turned to her then, trapping her beneath his body again, only the strength of his arms saving her from being crushed. “What if I don’t want just a little while?”
She gasped, reaching for him. He didn’t flinch as her palms covered his cheeks.
“Your tears…” she said, bringing a drop close to her face. “They glow.”
“Yes. When too full of feeling.”
“Oh.” She let out a soft hum. “I’m sorry for what I’ve done to make your tears come, but…I’m glad I saw them.” Her own tears welled, as if to join his. “Because even this part of you is beautiful, too.”
And then, struck with silence and awe, Airik watched as she brought her finger to her lips. Her eyes fluttered shut as her tongue took the glowing drop.
A sharp rush of breath escaped her, meeting his gaze with panic. Sensing she was about to pull away, Airk dropped his weight a little to keep her where she was.
“I…I thought your tears were too precious to lose. I didn’t want to just…wipe away your emotions. I’m sorry—I didn’t know what else to do.” Her lips pulled into a smile, not entirely under her own control, it seemed.
Ulliel hear him, he was falling at terrifying speed. There wasn’t any saving him from Nora.
He pressed his lips to hers, just the way she’d taught him. Her mouth opened with a moan, letting him in.
“A little while,” he said wretchedly against her. His beautiful gift from the stars—fallen from the sky like a wish wrapped in ruin and delusional hope. “How can I ever say no to you? If you want a little while, I will give it to you.”
She went stiff for a terrible second.
But then her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs around his waist. “Then give me more, Airik,” she said, nudging his lips with the tip of her nose. “Everything.”
He kissed every part of her face—her brows, her eyelids, the delicate hollows behind her ears, and the corners of her mouth. He even unwove her lusciously thick, dark hair, kissing fistfuls of it. He would never again smell smoke and flowers without thinking of Nora.
By the time he took her mouth again, he did so deeply, angrily, hungrily. Pouring all the passion he’d give her if he had a lifetime to do it.
Nora’s hands roved all along his back, hips, and shoulders until her fingers twisted into his hair, holding him to her lips.
“Where else can I kiss?” he asked.
“Where do you want to kiss?”
“Everywhere that is mine.”
Her fingers teased the tendons of his neck, settling just below his ear, where blood rushed close to the surface—his heart in her hands. She smiled, her one slightly crooked tooth like an anchor between him and reality. “Then you should kiss…everywhere.”
The words hit Airik harder than any command he’d been given. He rose to his knees, grabbed her collar, then tore her shirt in half. Splitting it right down the middle and shredding the Veynari insignia, with all its honor and valor, into pieces.
Her arms flew up, one covering her breasts and the other her cunt.
“In this universe of ours…” He took her wrists but did not move them. “All of you is mine. I’ve already felt it. Won’t you let my eyes have you, too?”
Her breath quickened. “Okay.”
She let him push her arms away, then held them at her sides. A halo of brown encircled her nipples, and his mouth watered. His gaze slid down to the alluring dark curls crowning her cunt. Where was her pretty pink little covering—the object of his fantasies in the dark hours between sleep and wake?
He spread her knees to make room for himself.
The smell of her could sustain him for days.
“I have never seen something as perfect as you. Held anything…like you.” He bent close to her chest, wanting that incredible brown color of hers in his mouth.
“Beautiful. Lovely. Pretty. Holy… What other words can I use for you?”
Her laugh cut off as his mouth closed over her breast. Instantly, her nipples tightened, and he turned his head, letting his fangs tease them. He dared not use his tongue or his hands, not wanting to hurt her.
Airik heard her gasp, her nails digging into his back. “How can you say that? You’ve never seen another human.” She caught his hand and placed it on her breast. Another command he couldn’t refuse.
“I’m not comparing you to humans but to everything I’ve ever seen.” He kissed the undersides of her breasts—heavy and so plentiful they didn’t fit in his hands—then moved to her left nipple, tonguing it until she arched into his mouth, feeding herself to him.
Unable to hold back, he buried his face in her chest. He squeezed her breasts together against his cheeks so he could inhale the scent that had haunted him for days directly into his lungs.
Finally. I can breathe again.
If he could die here—in the safety of the valley of her breasts—then his life would not have been in vain.
“Your fangs,” she begged, her eyes hazy with lust. “I want you to use your fangs—just a little.”
He’d worship this woman. With his fangs, his tongue, his lips, his hands, and whatever else she wanted from him.
For a long while, he played with her, learning how she liked to be touched. Squeezing. Licking. Sucking. Until her breasts were so sensitive that she whimpered at the slightest touch across their brown peaks.
Untouched. My touch is destruction—there is no comfort in it.
But Nora bucked against him, wild, crying his name in the beautiful way she said it, clutching him to her body. She wanted this—him. There was pleasure here. He gave it to her—despite all the things he’d been forced to do. He could still do this.