Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Hailey
Fortunately, Jason leaves me alone with the doctor, so he doesn’t have to listen to me talk about the color of my snot and the mucus I’m coughing up. Even though I know that he’s only marrying me to help me out, I don’t want him to think I’m disgusting.
The doctor calls in a prescription for me for antibiotics, and I know Jason’s going to have to pay a bunch for that. So as soon as the doctor’s gone, I’m looking for GoodRX coupon codes so it’s less expensive.
“What’s the name of the pharmacy you use again?” I ask, thumbs hovering over my phone.
Despite insisting that he should avoid me, he’s more insistent that I hang out on the couch. “It’s boring being out here by myself when I know you’re in the next room,” he’d said.
And for some reason, that argument was convincing.
He glances at me, eyebrows raised. “Why?”
Shaking my head, I wave him off. “You’re right, it doesn’t matter.” I had the doctor write down the name of the specific antibiotic he’s prescribing me. “I found a coupon code for you.” I text him the link. “It’ll save you some money.”
Smirking, he picks up his phone. “It’s seriously not that big of a deal, Hailey.”
“Will you just humor me on this? If it were covered by insurance, it’d be less too, right? So what’s wrong with using this to save a few bucks? It makes me feel better than you paying full price.”
He purses his lips, glancing between me and his phone, then he sighs and nods, putting the phone back down. “Don’t worry, I’ll use it. I can see it’s important to you.”
“It is,” I say in a small voice. “Thank you.”
Clearing his throat, he tries to look nonchalant with one leg crossed over the other as he picks invisible lint from his pants.
But the fact that he won’t meet my eyes gives away that he’s nervous or uncomfortable.
“Once you’re feeling better, we should go down to the courthouse to make everything official. ”
My breath catches, and then I cough a bunch, having to get up to go spit in the bathroom sink when it finally subsides.
Jason’s looking at me with concern when I come back to the couch and settle in my nest of blankets once more. “You okay?” I nod, then shrug, then shake my head, and he laughs. “So, perfect, then?”
Grinning too, I shake my head. “I mean, I’m … as good as can be expected under the circumstances? I feel awful, and also guilty because you’re going to be paying through the nose for a concierge doctor plus a prescription not covered by insurance.”
“The prescription really isn’t expensive.”
“That’s not the point!” It’d be a shout, but my voice gives out, and it’s more of an angry whisper.
He holds up his hands in surrender. “Okay. I’m sorry.
I guess …” He scrapes his teeth over his lower lip.
“I guess I just don’t see what the problem is?
” His intonation goes up, making it a question, and he raises his hands to shoulder height as he shrugs, palms up.
“I offered, Hailey. It won’t put me in the poor house to pay for a doctor to come see you when you’re trying to cough your lungs up on my couch. ”
“To be fair,” I correct, “I was trying to keep my lungs inside my body. And I was also doing it in my room. But then that’s another thing. I now have a room inside your home.”
“And why’s that bad, exactly?”
I throw my hands up, my voice turning into little more than a croak once more.
“Because! I’m twenty-five! I’m supposed to be able to make it on my own.
” Gathering the blanket around me, I try to disappear into my cocoon.
Not that it would actually help. The fact remains that I’m a failure.
I can’t support myself. I can’t afford to fix my car or buy a new one when it breaks down.
I can’t afford to pay for health insurance or a doctor when I’m sick.
I couldn’t even afford to move here. Jason’s paid for everything since I broke down in front of his parents’ house.
And I feel guilty—so deeply, incredibly guilty—for letting him pay for things.
Maybe I should’ve just signed my parents’ stupid contract and—
But a visceral rejection of that idea stops that thought before it can reach its conclusion.
No.
No. My parents’ option wasn’t an option at all.
It was prison and punishment all rolled into one.
For failing. For expecting their help after they lost their son.
For having needs that they couldn’t ignore, even when I tried my best to minimize them as much as possible.
For not fulfilling his dreams, his role. For not being him.
For surviving when he didn’t.
“Hailey,” Jason says gently after a moment, and I swipe at the tears that are trying to escape and leak down my cheeks, embarrassed.
“Hailey,” he repeats, scooting closer. “You aren’t a failure. You had a run of bad luck. There’s a difference.”
I open my mouth, ready to retort that my whole life has been a run of bad luck—or at least since Hunter died—but the words die on my lips as I meet his sincere gaze. He looks so distraught for me.
“You were supporting yourself and doing what you loved. Sure, it wasn’t perfect.
Yes, you had to do extra things to make ends meet, but if anything, that’s just further evidence of your tenacity and grit.
It’s not your fault your car died. And an expense like that could’ve knocked anyone on their ass.
Like I’ve said before, and I’ll say it again as many times as you need to hear it, I’m glad I was there when it happened.
I’m glad I was able to help you. I’m grateful that you’re letting me help you. ”
I can’t stop the croaky, sniffly laugh from coming out at that.
“You’re grateful? Grateful? Seriously? Of the two of us, I’m the one who has a reason to be grateful.
I can’t even …” My mouth stays open as I shake my head, searching for the right words.
But there aren’t any. “This is insane. What you’re doing for me is insane.
My parents wouldn’t help me this much, not even if they had this kind of money. ”
He growls at that. “Yeah, well, let’s just say that your parents aren’t the same people I knew as a kid.”
This time, my chuckle is less disbelief and more sardonic and bitter—before it turns into another coughing fit.
“Yeah, well. They’re not much different from what they have been for the last twelve years or so.
Sometimes I think they wish I was the one who’d died instead of their golden football star son. ”
“God, Hailey. Jesus.”
I swallow, shaking my head and reaching for a tissue, both because I need to blow my nose—because of course I do—but also to cover the grief that welled up as soon as I gave those words a voice.
I haven’t actually said that out loud to anyone before.
And from Jason’s reaction, he either doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t believe me, or worst of all, knows that I’m right.
“Don’t worry about it,” I mutter, covering my nose with the tissue and letting out an almighty honk.
“You’re gonna drop a bomb like that on me and then tell me not to worry about it? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I’m probably just … well, I mean, I’m just projecting or something.
Right? Because what monsters would think that way?
But …” I sigh, suddenly feeling weighed down by everything.
By my whole goddamn life. “But I’ve always thought they were annoyed that I was still around.
And I don’t know if that was because they thought it should’ve been me—wished it had been me—or because they regretted the fact that I was born in the first place or—”
Then Jason’s arms are around me, and he’s pressing my face into his chest. “If that’s what they think, then yeah, they are monsters.
Because even when you were Hunter’s annoying little sister, you were a cool kid.
I’ve always liked you. And I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to keep up with you.
I’m sorry that you’ve felt abandoned for years and that you think you have to do everything on your own.
That’s not how it works, though. You’re not solely responsible for your own success.
No one is. I wouldn’t be where I am if I hadn’t been massively helped by countless people along the way.
The fact that I’m now in a position to substantially help other people?
That makes it my duty to do so. And doubly so for you.
I promised I’d look out for you. And I guarantee you that if Hunter were still here, he’d have done all this for you and more. ”
“Well,” I mutter into the soft cotton of his shirt, “I don’t think he’d insist on marrying me.”
Laughter bursts out of Jason, and he pulls back, releasing me when I raise the tissue to my face once more, though he doesn’t look disgusted.
“No,” he says at length. “Your brother definitely wouldn’t marry you, that’s true.
But then, he also wouldn’t be able to provide you with health insurance that way.
You’d have to just let him pay for it or something. ”
Pursing my lips, I narrow my eyes and consider that. “I’m not sure I’d have to do any such thing.”
“Well, hopefully once we’re married, you won’t feel so guilty about me paying for things. Or seeing a doctor. Washington is a community property state, after all.”
My eyes go wide at that. “Then we definitely need a prenup before we get married. I’m not marrying you so I can get half of your money when we divorce.”
He shrugs. “I had an attorney draw one up already. We’ll find someone to go over it with you before we schedule a time at the courthouse.
We’ll need witnesses. Or, if you’d rather, we can have a low-key ceremony at a park.
Or Abernathy has a big backyard where he hosts team barbecues in the summer.
It’s this weekend, actually, so we’ll miss it. ”
I give him a quizzical look. “Why will we miss it? Or, well, I’ll probably still feel terrible, but why would you miss it?”
“Well, if you’re still feeling terrible, I’d want to keep you company. And if you feel up for driving around a bit, I can at least take you to a few spots. We’ll save the more walking-intensive parts for once you’re back to a hundred percent. But …” Another shrug.
He’s missing his team barbecue to spend time with me? “Will people expect you to be there?”
“A few people know that you moved in this week, including Abernathy, so no. Not really. I mean, he said I could bring you if you were up to it, but also, they’re a nosy bunch, and I wasn’t sure you’d want to deal with that so soon after getting here.
” He purses his lips, drumming his fingers on his mouth as he thinks.
“You know, though, once you’re feeling better, you should meet Tina, Abernathy’s wife.
She might want violin lessons for her oldest. You teach little kids, right? ”
“I have, yeah.”
“Right. They have a six-year-old. I think. Right? She was in Kindergarten last year, so …”
“Yeah, she should be six then, if she’s going into first grade. That’s usually how that works.”
“Like I said, I don’t know one way or the other, but if you’re willing to teach that age, Tina might be interested. And if she’s not, she’ll know the other families with kids who might be, not to mention her contacts at her kids’ schools. She’s very well connected.”
Pleasantly surprised, I nod. “Okay, that sounds really good.” Then I wrinkle my nose. “It’s just … I don’t have a studio space lined up yet.”
Jason gives me a confused look. “Uh, couldn’t you teach here? Or at your student’s house? When you were a kid, you took lessons, right? I feel like I remember that. I mean, I know you played at school too, but didn’t you have private lessons?”
“I did, yes.”
“Were they in Poynette?”
I shake my head. “No. We went to DeForest. Poynette’s too rinky-dink for a violin teacher.”
He shrugs. “DeForest’s not that much bigger.”
“I mean, compared to an actual city? No. But there was a violin teacher there.
“Okay. And did you go to a studio or to your teacher’s house? Rinky-dink or not, our neighbor taught piano lessons out of her house when I was a kid. Remember her? Miss Susan?”
“Yeah. She was also the elementary school music teacher.”
He snaps and points at me. “That’s right!
Somehow I’d forgotten that. Anyway. If you taught out of a studio or somewhere else, wouldn’t you have to pay for it?
” He spreads his arms. “This doesn’t cost anything.
And if you’re willing to travel, there are plenty of people who’d be willing to pay a premium to have you come to their house. ”
“No car, though, remember?”
Standing abruptly, he goes to the kitchen, opens a drawer, pulls out a set of keys, then returns and sets them on the coffee table. “Problem solved.”